Recovery From Narcissistic Abuse/Covert Narcissistic Mother/Violent Narcissistic Father/Lisa Romano

Recovery From Narcissistic Abuse/Covert Narcissistic Mother/Violent Narcissistic Father/Lisa Romano


Hello everybody, Lisa A. Romano I am the breakthrough life coach and today we’re coming live I love these live streams because I get to interact with everybody in real time and today I have been inspired by a message that I received by a Youtuber who Watched a bunch of my videos and I want I have permission I have asked her if I can read her email to all of you Because I think many of us will resonate with what she has shared and it definitely touched my heart So she wrote. Hi Lisa. I Discovered your videos just a few days ago I listened I have been listening to them ever since they helped me to discover the truth that I unconsciously did not want to discover for years Despite the fact that I went through therapy books programs Knowings of teachers like Eckhart Tolle Gregg Braden, Joe Dispenza and many others, but only you showed me What was what was my family dynamic and why? My father died just three weeks ago ever since that day. I wanted to die Just follow him loyalty to the grave and I didn’t know exactly why Because I thought his influence over me was over because he was dead. I Confronted him over two months ago for being so violent and abusive when I was a child and it was almost like he died because he realized that because I hold it out by name and I was so codependent That as a good loyal daughter I would go to the grave after him like an atonement for being open and honest and Acting in front of him like an adult woman for the first time in my life after his death I started to fall like into some black hole deeper and deeper Friends or anyone who tried to encourage. He helped me only annoyed me like I didn’t want to be convinced that I was worthy of even staying alive after he died and One day during my another breakdown I found your video And it was like a battle inside me with my programming at first, but something made me watch it again And find more and more till I clearly started to see until I admitted that my father was a narcissist with psychopathic tendencies and that my mother is a narcissist who only seeks her own value By destroying my self-esteem and my independence That both parents hated themselves and hated each other That my mother hated anything in me that reminded her about herself And she hated also anything within me, which reminded me of her father of my father. I Ended up not being able to feel myself To recognize what I feel and to know or know who or what I am To the point that I developed diagnosed autistic indicators and borderline symptoms Above other issues and now finally your videos probably saved my life and I feel like it’s a breaking point It’s all coming back to the law of attraction, but from a completely new perspective It’s the big in beginning of me. I’m 36, and I’m not my father and I’ve decided to live. Thank you for your work I have like I’m covered in goose bumps So I wrote a little bit back and and to her back and forth and then she wrote back or she said yes you can Share it who knows? It might help someone else. Nothing is separate. It’s a chain reaction Until you know why you’re in a mess until you discover. What kind of a mess it is. You can do affirmations meditations focus on the present moment But all these techniques and tools only will bring you back to your mess in order to discover it there’s no other option The part of the program is a camouflage of the program My child’s loyalty to the program is the loyalty to the parents So the child would do anything to justify the parents and to protect the program My parents did that without even knowing just to protect their parents. It’s like fighting with an invisible enemy You don’t know where the attacks are coming from and every guess of direction is towards the enemy So we’re around him but never at him. So I just want to make sure I’m shutting that down. I just I’m so happy and Just really really inspired that this young woman so young in her thirties has been able to break through and Feel for the first time in her life that she has a direction She’s beginning to understand that it wasn’t me It was my programming, but I wanted to have a live stream. I just want to say hello to everybody. Hi Ellen. Hi, Catherine Hi sage Hi Lee and I’m so glad that you were able to catch us live, too and you know, um Lee lost has just said I’m 67. I’m so excited about the change you’re teaching me freedom at last Sage just said Lisa you saved my life Let’s see Eric just said a Jewish gay son of a mother who is a narcissist That’s a rough one and possibly father too from Brooklyn, New York she was cruel to all of her children and my sister passed away five years ago who she was jealous of this seems to be Joan just said I’m feeling for the first time in my life at 52 I mean, it’s like incredible, you know so many of us and my work is really, you know, I I Have followed the greats myself, including dr. Dispenza including Wayne Dyer loved him Louise. Hey Esther Hicks, you know, I You know, I’ve followed the best of the best, you know, but this is not a criticism. This is just an observation What I felt was missing was Like what this this viewer just said I was doing the affirmations I was doing I was trying to stay in the present moment, but what nobody was saying is What about the programming? What about the part of us? That is 95% Unconscious if I’m only 5% conscious then the affirmations are in the conscious realm So how much power do I have in the conscious realm if? I’m not taking into account what has been downloaded in the subconscious mind now here is here is What this YouTube viewer I think has done an amazing job pointing out we have an undying loyalty To our parents. We really do we are all born to adore our parents and it doesn’t matter if they abuse us, you know, they’ve done studies where Children take horror or trying to be removed from abusive homes. They’re clinging to the legs of their parents They don’t want to leave their parents They want to be loved by their parents right? No matter no matter what these parents have done children want To have their parents approval. They absolutely desire it and I love you too. Sarah just said I love you. I love you, too I really do we are one a lot of us I think are falling between the cracks you know, I think those of us who You know Haven’t had it easy at home those of us who? Admit that we didn’t have the best childhood and we are finally getting to the point We were able to say wait a minute, you know, maybe my parents were well intended, but they messed me up You know, I think even though the best parents in the world are gonna screw up from time to time, right? We all have an ego and we all have programming so from time to time, you know Parents are going to mess up their children or harm their children. Although they don’t they don’t mean it I think it’s very very very very easy to wound a child You have to remember we you and me have to accept that we were Subconscious and we were in hypnotic brainwave states at least until the age of seven, you know My daughter just told me she was with her boyfriend’s family and they said to a four-year-old Don’t chew on the glow stick, you know, the glow stick is has that a chemical in it? And you know that you know, you shake it at nighttime and it can light up a stadium or whatever. It’s a glow stick so she said to the little boy who was four don’t chew on that because there’s poison in there and make you sick and His response was oh my god. Am I going to die? I mean a four-year-old child a six-year-old seven-year-old child Right the adults in their life are everything to them. You know, I was at the aquarium yesterday and You know, it was so sad. There was a mom and a dad whose child was wanted you All he wanted to do is get on the stroller He couldn’t have been more than two and a half years old two years old and I overheard the mom saying if you don’t knock it off, I’m gonna throw you in the tank with the sharks that Is a real threat you talk about PTSD this little baby is looking at these mammoth sharks in this tank and Mommy is threatening to throw him into the tank because he wants to get out of the stroller So what this child is is being traumatized, right? And I’m it’s hard for me and I’m sure you guys the more you wake up it it can be really really difficult You know, I caution my moderators and I caution The people that I’ve taken my class You know the 12-week class that you know when you start waking up and you start realizing Like what you went through and and how that led to the life that you’re living, right? And you start looking around and you’re around people and you hear the way parents are talking to their children It is like they’re the next 20 or 30 or 40 50 years of this child’s life flashes before your eyes You just have a glimpse into what this kid is experiencing, you know day in and day out and it isn’t difficult to understand how how strenuous it is for this little boy to To have parents that threatened to throw him into a shark tank Because he’s squirming and he once wants to get out of his stroller like all the other two and three year old kids, right? So do these parents think that they’re wounding this kid? Probably not You know and I even watched the dad squeeze his leg and he was he was telling the kid to be quiet and to shut up You know So worried about what everyone else was gonna think about his kids Squirming who the hell cares what anybody else thinks about your kids squirming. What’s most important is what you’re teaching this child You know and so, you know, I’m standing I’m like, oh my god. This little boy is gonna grow up loyal to his mother and father just like the rest of us, you know, probably unaware and how this everyday type of Talking the way they the disrespect for the child at two-and-a-half or three You know how this is is going to replay out in this child’s life You know if these parents of that unaware that they can say to a baby who’s just trying an innocent little baby He was just I want to get out. I want to see the fish I want to see the fish if these parents think it’s okay to say if you know don’t knock it off I’m going to throw you into the tank with the sharks And they feel comfortable to say it around lots of other people who had their kids on their shoulders looking at the sharks Right if they think that’s okay. I can I literally was like, oh my god. I was so overwhelmed because I was like What is this baby’s life gonna be like, you know, what is he dealing with when they go back into the car? You know How did they treat him when he asks for ice cream or how they treat him? When he when he acts up and there are people around children Alembic, right? Which means that they don’t have the ability to control their emotions here They have adults right that aren’t able to control their emotions, but we want a two and a half year old, right? Who is a very underdeveloped brain to understand and to control his emotions? Because the parents are worried about what other people think We have to move past that right and we have to those of us who have children and grandchildren or who want to have children We really really have to understand that Then what is happening between the child’s ears is the most important thing, you know And what other people think is really irrelevant. We have got to get past worrying about What other people think about our family or about our children? I think that the entire society is codependent, you know, I’ve been criticized here and there by people say oh Lisa You know, you’re stretching this term codependency, you know, I don’t think so I think if what is the word codependent mean? I’m cold pendant on Something outside of me for a sense of me, right? I am codependent on something It’s out outside of me to make me feel good about me right so if I’m codependent as a parent on Fitting in with the other parents and all the other babies are quiet well Maybe because not strapped to a stroller an aquarium maybe because they actually want to get out and look at the equip the fish in the aquarium You constrain a trial they want to be out so whatever but if you’re the type of parent who? because your child is acting up you have to Exert power over the child with harassment and fear and intimidation Because you’re worried about what the other people think about your kid acting up you’re codependent Right, which is crazy to me. I Understand it because I used to be like that people who are severely codependent are worried about what other people think right, which means that they’re assuming that they know what other people think and in most cases It’s negative in most cases somebody who’s suffering from CODIS Codependency is assuming that what other people are thinking about them is negative. Why? Because that is their programming That is their experience, you know when I put a bathing suit on I just got back from a short vacation for my husband boy Did I ever need it but here here I was in my bathing suit, right and here goes the programming I’m assuming that I’m being judged for my cellulite and my spider veins people could love my bathing suit or not be thinking any of those things at all, but All of those thoughts that I was that were in my head represent Programming they represent what I heard growing up about women’s bodies My father was highly critical of women’s bodies. My mother was highly critical of her body and so this it wasn’t a Place where you know growing up it wasn’t okay to be you It wasn’t okay to age actually actually aging was looked at a very bad thing You know My father always made comments about my mom aging so that is part of my subconscious Programming now as someone who is fairly awakened and does what she can to stay Aware self-aware of my thoughts because if I don’t run my thoughts my thoughts are gonna run me, right? So as I think heaven I’ve learned to observe my feelings and that is my main goal every day is to observe what’s happening in? Between my ears because if I don’t if I don’t I’m going down a rabbit hole So that’s that’s essentially what I teach my private clients and those that take my classes This is what I teach this is what I try to share on social media including YouTube No matter what happened to you. You have to understand that what happened to you created a program that created a story and By the sheer nature of what it means to be a human being We are unconscious. So the story is there and we’re hearing this story But we are identifying with the story right? We are reacting to the storyline unconsciously, and I think that is The crux of my work I want to wake people up. I want them to understand that sure You might feel like crap. You might judge yourself You might judge other people you might feel despondent and you might feel like you’re not good enough sure you might you know over empathize with people You might think it’s your job to fix people sure, but that’s only your programming Now we have to figure out is why is that your programming? Why is it that there are some people Who? Don’t have the issues that you have right? I saw women on the beach in string bikinis, right? And I thought all I could do that You know someone might say maybe they shouldn’t administering bikini But whenever I see somebody who’s who is in a bathing suit, and she’s rocking it I don’t care what size she is. My first thought is you go girl I am so proud of you because to me that represents somebody who is in her own space She’s in her own experience and she’s not all caught up in her own subconscious mind worrying about what other people think and I think that that’s what pisses me off about codependency is that if you have been a victim of being judged right if you if you’re somebody who Doesn’t feel or feels like you have to fit into a certain box to be good enough, right? You don’t realize the dogma. You don’t realize the programming. You don’t realize the story the invisible Story that is playing out in your head that Your mind is going down the rabbit hole with you don’t realize that there’s a story that you can gain control over and go wait A minute, that’s not me. That’s just my programming. I don’t want to thank those thoughts. That’s not my thought You know, I remember when I was first becoming aware of wait a minute. This is programming wait a minute. I judge myself Because my mother judged me and my father judged my mother and he judged me, you know I never had a male person a male in my life not judge me even my uncle’s judged me You know, so my experience of men was very critical men judge women and My mom because she was she did not hat in my own opinion. She didn’t have her own self so Hold on dear ones There’s obviously there’s a troll you guys are saying that there’s a troll So if you guys can identify the name of the troll, then we can block the troll so I’m gonna try to go back and say Sometimes we have to block trolls. It’s very sad, but Yeah, if you guys can just let me know who you think the troll is call it out dear ones Call it out. I’m looking Okay, so yeah just So yes if Okay. Let me see Thank You Alan. I’m gonna see if I can find this person He may be hiding now or she might be hard at hiding but I’m gonna go go. Um, Okay, okay let me just I want to make sure I’m gonna block the right person you guys just have to Hi phase up Okay, so you guys are all saying it’s the I just I don’t want to block the wrong person. Okay Let me just write it down. Just give me a second guys, you know, there’s no reason to get upset, you know with People that troll your channel or try to like piss on your parade You know what? I teach my what I teach my coaching clients is control what you can and You know, then that’s it focus on that and That person has been deleted from the chat so you guys can just let me know if if you see any more and hopefully it’s difficult because I’m on a train of thought and I have the chat going but the chat is very important live because you never know what Somebody who is highly below the veil and who is You know what they can possibly do so Anyway getting back to what we were talking about is When we are suffering from Hold on one second. Hold on one second. Oh Okay, I think I’m going on the advice of you guys Hey there have been trolls pushing religious agenda. Okay. Okay. We got it. I think we took care of it. I’m learning This is all very new to me. I throw spaghetti up against the wall. I’m not afraid to make a mistake Anybody judge judges me. That’s not that’s not me. That’s a projection of them judging themselves So anyway dear ones if you’re a codependent, right? the one thing that that really drives me crazy about codependency, is that if your codependency Codependent lots of times you don’t realize it you’re just depressed You’re worried about what other people think it’s difficult for you to start a project or if you start a project. It’s difficult for you to finish the project You enable people you question whether or not you should actually put put up with Certain behavior like you could be dating someone who curses at you or somebody who hates you somebody who criticizes you and minimizes you, you know, someone that you’re that is just creating a lot of Resistance in your soul and you will you will doubt the The way you feel and you will doubt you have a right to feel the way you feel, right? And so when you’re codependent, there’s this self-doubt issue. Why because you never felt securely attached to People that you thought really loved you when you were a child That that ability to create a bond was interrupted and the parents greatest job is to instill into a child That it is that child has a right to feel what they feel that what that child thinks and and desires is valid and when you are instead taught that what you think is invalid or when the people that you love the most Are beating you or they’re abusing you and in the case of the person who wrote me this amazing letter She said that her mother obviously Hated her but she felt that Little girls and little boys are not supposed to feel like their mothers and fathers hate them That is that defies the natural laws of the universe like I’m not even kidding Like Gaia right loves us gaia supports us or The word we use to describe mother earth right guy or gaia Supplies us with water gaia supplies us with air right? So when we think about What is supposed to happen? when we have parents who absolutely Make us doubt that we are worthy Then we doubt that. We are worthy our internal guidance our ability to stay focused on our own internal guidance gets corrupted We don’t trust our guidance, right and so now here we are adults We could be 50 or 60 years old inside relationship dynamics with people that we don’t it doesn’t really feel right But we don’t think that we have a rethink. Maybe we’re making too much of this. You know, maybe it’s no big deal, you know You know I’ve had You know plenty of situations in my family life and as well as coaching with clients dealing with people who are living with people who are on drugs and My clients or a family member have enabled the person taking drugs and they’ve lost work You know, they’ve lost sleep they’ve given them money they’ve paid for their rent, you know, so this is a codependent type of an experience where you hear we are taking care of someone Who should be taking care of themselves? And in that all that gobbly goo we are not asking ourselves Well, how do we feel about? This person’s addiction or how do we feel about? this person Asking me for the rent money again. How do I feel about that? We don’t ask ourselves how we feel? Because it’s not part of our programming to be asked. How do you feel right if? Parents don’t give us the message that what we feel Is is valid right? Then? We don’t know to ask ourselves What we feel it’s just not part of our programming when I started waking up I began to realize it was like I just began to see my brain as a computer and I was like I don’t have this input to Love myself. It’s like that chip doesn’t exist. I Live as an extension of everyone else. It’s my job to make sure that everybody else is happy, you know and so if my friend is an alcoholic and She needs money. Then I have to give her money because she’s an alcoholic No wrong. Well, that’s wrong. No wrong But when you are a codependent, you’re not checking in with yourself You have very poor boundaries. You have very low self-esteem You really do think that your your worth and your purpose is to fix other people, right? And here we go down rabbit holes when you have grown up and you’ve suffered at the hands of a narcissistic or Psychopathic father who is physically abusive, you know, you are not taught that you were valid You’re not you’re taught that you are invalid, right? And what happens is we do have this undying loyalty to our parents and that is natural Okay but What has happened to us in our environments is unnatural. It is absolutely unnatural So we here we have this great conflict. So it’s absolutely natural to love our parents, right? absolutely natural What’s not natural? And what is unnatural is to be abused by your parents that’s unnatural, right and Unfortunately when you are abused in childhood the likelihood of You becoming abused in adulthood is? Absolutely Increased right because it’s all you know, it’s all you know what I teach in my master class After the 12-week is that you have to wake up, right? You have to heal these vibrational patterns and they are Vibrational patterns you we are what eighty eighty-five percent water? Okay, you know that Japanese doctor I forgot his name But the Japanese doctor most of you probably know what the hell I’m talking about and please add it to the chat if you do the doctor who did the experiments with water and then took pictures of the water after people prayed over them after monks prayed over the water and how beautiful the These water crystals looked after People prayed over them, right? and then and then we have We have the experiment where people were asked to send these Like these these these water bottles of this water these glasses of water negative energy whether it was hate or greed or whatever and when they Took slides of the water. That was that was sent negative emotions. It was absolutely devastating The crystals looked evil, right? Whereas the crystals that were Sent loving vibrations. They actually looked angelic right? It was just absolutely amazing now I like to connect the dots if I’m good at anything, it’s good. I’m good at connecting dots You are mostly water You’re mostly water so If you’ve lived in a vibrational experience where There was sibling abuse Where there was domestic violence? Where there was bullying in school? Where you were sexually abused where you know Your parents knew that you were being abused but they called you a liar I’ve heard that so many times as a coach If you were in a war-torn country, right if you came from a home where there was general violence, right I Want you guys to pay attention to the vibrational experience That you lived in as a child Right, so that will help explain Yeah, and sorry just said who feels like no one believed you if you told them how you were treated by your mom no People don’t because it’s not it’s not their fault. It’s because it’s not natural the first Instinct and I would just be careful about sharing too much information in a live chat You never know who you’re talking to in a live chat. So I just use common sense in the chat with what you’re sharing I’m just just throwing that out there so We have I want you guys to pay attention to the fact that you’re a multi-dimensional human being you are mostly water and Which means you’re emotionally about you are mostly a vibrational beat that has been affected by the vibrations of your environment right And so think about these experiments with water where they’re actually seeing changes in the molecular structure or the patterns of water droplets based on the environments the water is Placed in so you have to see yourself as a bottle of water that was placed inside an environment That was not your fault. It was not your fault and Now these patterns that you experience day in and day out have created vibration vibrational patterns within you So now add in now Okay that’s the vibrational aspect of you now add in the fact that you were in a hypnotic brainwave state up until about the age of Seven now We’re talking about the psychological you now we’re talking about your personality which has been affected by Again your environment. We do not live in a vacuum That’s why if you feel bad, that’s because someone made you feel bad right if you do bad things That’s because you had bad experiences people who came to this planet and had awesome experiences with awesome parents and awesome siblings and awesome aunts and uncles People who felt loved were never bullied who are encouraged to follow their dreams, okay You know, they’re living their life They’re yachting or sailing or whatever, you know, they’re just living their life non codependent accepting how they feel Somebody bumps up against them that they don’t like they just go the other way They don’t try to get this person to see their point. They don’t try to fix people, right? They’re just like okay, you know, they’re kind of ornery. So I’m just gonna go over here, right? And so You know and like misery just said yes when you know better you do better better like Maya Angelou says, right Were all up here to learn Every human being has been incarnated to evolve evolve. What? evolve your vibrational patterns Evolve your personality evolve your ego Evolve the past and transition and transcend the tough thing is how do we do that? that’s that’s really about life skills and there are Absolutely Twilight modes that obvious this is too dumbed down hold on and you should explain vibrations and energy I’m really sorry that you feel that way twilight moon. It looks like a lot of people are really enjoying this Rather than get too much into energy. My agenda here is today. My agenda here save me That’s my livestream is to connect the dots and Hold on one second We have to delete someone but by okay, we had to delete somebody and so what I wanted to hopefully Get to today was to explain to people that it is unnatural To feel unloved by the being who created you it is unnatural Thank You Andrey Andrey just said you’re doing great Lisa, thank you do it is unnatural to Feel and to experience abuse Hold on one second. This is sometimes we have to we have to Deal with people and put them in tight timeouts and stuff, which is so sad. What do you do? It’s part of life, right somebody somebody that is that bumps up against me these days. I don’t fight that person anymore I’m just like, okay namaste I bowed to love enlighten you and I go this way, you know, I just go on with my shtick where years ago It would have been much more difficult for me to I deal with and I would think oh my god this person doesn’t like me and I would feel so wounded because it would trigger all my my Programming but these days I know that I’m nuf and hopefully you guys Are feeling that way more and more as well. And so it’s unnatural For us to feel unloved by our parents. Absolutely unnatural it is Unnatural for us to be beaten and abused by our parents, right? and so what we have to understand also is that it’s Unnatural to experience that it’s not it’s not right But it’s also natural for us to want to experience their love and so we have this great conflict that we absolutely Need to resolve if we’re going to free ourselves and break through and be free what the YouTube YouTube viewers shared with me was that She felt in her entire life that disloyalty to her parents even though they were highly abusive and how when her mother looked at her she felt like her mother hated her and How she didn’t want to see that here? She was 35 or 36 years old and she did not want to see that her parents had caused this drama That’s because it is unnatural to push your parents away It is natural to want to create that bond and pull them in so that’s the problem with codependency and attachment trauma is that Below the veil of consciousness we have this tug-of-war going on and we don’t even see it and We have issues that are keeping us blind to what is really really the issue that we need to confront and the issue is Who has wounded me how has this affected my life? What is my programming as a result of being wounded right and? Who do I need to pin the tail on the donkey? I need to pin the tail on the donkey because I have to understand and once you do The brain has the ability to self-correct I’m I and the tons of people that I have coached privately and have taken my 12-week break Your coaching program are evidence that when you present the human brain brain with information That helps it understand itself. It has the ability to reorganize itself You know, we are stuck in the amygdala which is part of the limbic brain. We are stuck. We are stuck reacting We are stuck in patterns between the amygdala and the hippocampus We are stuck in reactive mode, right? I think a lot of borderline issues for the borderline personality for those of us who Suffer from some of those some of those symptoms, you know, if you go Yeah, and Sean just said that’s how I got borderline personality disorder now Sean. I would like to ask you to Consider it not a disorder Just let’s be open-minded here. Let’s call. Let’s call it a symptom of something deeper when you Have something happen in on the planet. That is unnatural you you see Devastating results right? So when if you think about yourself as an organism Right each and each of us was trauma. Absolutely if you think about You know if you think about Yourself as an organism and you think about your home as a petri dish and you think that You understand that you’re that what you deserved as an organism was to be? part of a petri dish In in a culture medium that was conducive to growth So that you could grow and become cool and what you were supposed to become which is a divine human being capable of immense probably infinite amazing Things on this planet, you know, you have been born a creator but Some people said it’s also a brain dysfunction. It can be borderline personality can be I mean if you have You know lesions on the amygdala right that’s going to create an issue if you have a tumor in the range center of the brain that’s gonna cause an issue if you have A brain disorder if you have like I said brain tumors brain lesions If you have an area of your brain that you’ve suffered like a trauma to an area of your brain your entire personality Can shift that’s still not your fault that is the result of something that happened to you. That is not you Okay, we have to begin to understand that those of us who Have been traumatized we consider yourself an organism that has been put into a hostile environment Now what happens to our organism is a symptom of the hostile environment? It doesn’t represent who we are, right? so if we were able if we had been fortunate enough to be placed into a culture medium as an as an Organism that was conducive to growth then we would our adult experience would be much different Frankie Roberson just said I stopped blaming my family and look for the causes as to why the Behavior had been so significant in my family la just said years of taking pills or bipolar There was never the answer I needed in those those pills. You’re right and I think you know that’s part of why you know, I do what I do and I do it so you know adamantly is because I – I went to four or five therapists and no one ever said Codependency no one ever. No one ever said well, you know tell me about the relationship you had with your mother Did you grow up feeling loved did you feel like your needs were? validated Did you feel like you were taught that it was good to express yourself Did you feel like you were encouraged to follow your dreams? Were you criticized? Were you shamed? Were you blamed where you chastise? Were you embarrassed? Were you unbeaten where you? Taught that what you thought is irrelevant, you know tell me about How you were taught to view yourself, you know because how you view yourself is Everything now. This is what we are not taught to do in traditional therapy is to perceive Just perceive how you were taught to view yourself. Get out of notebook and Write down your perception of self Then read it then understand that is not your perception of that is not you It represents the perception that you were given by The environment one of you just Esther just said guilt trips absolutely guilt trips when you were taught when you’re a guilt trip Then you were taught to worry more about what mom your daddy thinks or what your sister thinks what the neighbor thinks then? What you think right so that’s what the guilt trip does that is if you live with people who’ve guilt trip to trip to you then that is That is the breeding ground for codependency because now I’m being taught that I should worry about What someone else thinks I should feel guilty for being me Random boy another gamer you poor thing, you know We’re gonna take you off the channel, dear one poor thing. Anyway, that’s okay Bobby just said this is like eating a bite of the Apple in the Garden of Eden You can’t unsee her and hear this knowledge. You’re right and You know Frankie just said I was taught that I was inferior inferior Totally and yet you’re not right, so you’re not you you have to become the absolute ruler of your life You know, you absolutely have to begin stepping out of the box and we don’t do it from ego We do it from the spiritual perspective thinking that whoever created All that is created you for a glorious purpose and that was to you know Some people say – how else would creator and get to enjoy the planet Except through the experience of the individual incarnations of physical human beings, right So how else how else it’s like when you have a child right and you take the child to Disney World? You’re experiencing Disney world through the eyes of that child, right? so some people think that we have been born and you know, we are extensions of creator and Part of the reasoning for us being extensions of creator was so that creator could enjoy Creation Right through our individual experience I also think that when you have felt so out of the box and so disconnected from all that is You know and you learn like wait a minute. I’ve never been separate from the whole Except when I believed I was and That can only happen by By because we’re all unconscious right? So in our unconsciousness We think that we are insignificant in Our unconsciousness. We’re buying into this invisible ghost called subconscious programming in Codependency, right? So that is why awareness is so important and Recovery is so important. I will say that what I’m trying to do. I have a huge I think it’s a big I know that there are bigger Facebook groups out there But I have a Facebook group probably close to nine thousand members right now We have we had about eleven thousand posts come through our board this month seven hundred people tried to join we only accepted five hundred because some looked like they were actually phony and fake profiles and We really do try to protect the members in the group and so we really do want to make sure that the people who are trying to join or actually who they say they are and what I’m trying to do in the group is is is guide these people towards this the idea that Recovery has to be the goal now some of us will Get stuck and some of us will get stuck staying in anger Condemnation, but that is not the goal. The goal is to understand the pieces of the puzzle understand the hologram understand the cyclical nature of Generations of people right? This entire planet is a hologram. It’s a holographic universe, right? but the ego Has us thinking that it’s not The ego has us thinking that Everything is separate that because we’re not one anymore I don’t have to worry about what happens to me when I was one wrong You’re still one that experience is still very much alive Within you because there is no such thing as time and space You know, the brain is limp is linear But and that makes sense because what we’re trying to do what we’re trying to do on planet Earth is navigate the linear brain and to Say namaste to the ego the ego has a place You know in our lives and it helps us move forward it helps us identify who we are separate from other people But only so that we can become an individual and sing. Whatever message has been placed upon our heart So what happens though when you’re a wounded Eagle has to go to work for you? Ego has to become a guard Ego has to become a warrior for you. Eagle has to protect you because of You’ve been wounded in a perfect world. You’re in the very vulnerable authentic divine you would have felt very nurtured and Ego would not feel like it has to defend you right so you’ve been taught if you’re somebody who’s stuck You know in defensive mode, then that’s a symptom of Being wounded as a child and feeling very unprotected and your ego now has to work overtime To stay on guard now. Here we go back to energy again We go back to law of attraction the problem with that. Is that what you focus on you about? So here we have another issue You know we our ego is doing the right thing by trying to keep us safe. But here we are Attracting exactly what we don’t want to experience because that is the nature of the universe we attract what we focus on Right good or bad and it doesn’t matter what you consciously Think you’re focusing on what matters most is What’s happening to you below the veil of consciousness on a vibrational level right? That’s why It’s so important to heal And what I do is I take people through the 12-week class for three months and then I ask them to consider taking my master Class because that helps people accelerate they’re beginning to understand their vibrational vibrational patterns So it’s really important that we understand we begin to put the pieces of the puzzle that is us together with the intention of Transcending ego and saying namaste Higher Self has got this higher self is awake I know that my parents messed up, right? I know that by you know, the nature of the laws that govern this universe all human beings are born asleep I know that my subconscious programs were keeping me stuck. I know this is a holographic universe You know I know that you know parents do what they have been taught to do by their parents I know that my parents were below the veil of consciousness And I know that they had certain belief systems that they believed were true and they did not live in an era of the Internet in most cases and they were not taught to look beyond right and So my parents did to me what was done to them? That doesn’t mean they get a pass You know, that doesn’t mean that They have that they absolutely have you know, get away with what they’ve done. We like the YouTube viewer said What she said was she went ahead and she said something to her dad You abused me and then a few weeks later or months. Later He died and she felt so guilty for telling her truth. Right? And so what she wanted to do. She actually felt herself slipping and even wanting to die feeling so guilty that she had told this person the truth because she knew that When she told her father, I know that you abused me that he felt it and She could see in him that he was that he was generally hurt or concerned at least by the fact and I think if if this guy if her father was a true narcissist then You know, I think the chances of him genuinely being concerned and Hurt that he hurt. His daughter are slim What she made what you may have noticed in one in your father’s face is shock and horror that you figured it out, right? Like huh? She figured it out. She knows she knows I now know that She knows That I was abusive and old horror that my mask has been pulled off Bridget your 59 of course, it’s not too late. I have people have taken my program that are much older than you and You know, they’re living their best life now I don’t care if you were 69 wake up You know and and live as much of your life as you possibly can I don’t care if you were two months away from your deathbed really, right so if you’ve got two months of like Living your life out loud not caring what anyone else thinks about you Now common sense applies. Although some would say common sense is not so common, but When I say live your life and not care what anybody else thinks what I mean is be a good citizen Work within the laws of your state or your government You know do the things that make you feel Good, if that means you want to go to the beach every day find a way to go to the beach every day if that Means that you want to sing sing If that means you want to paint paint If that means you want to wear purple for the rest of your life wear purple for the rest of your life right now And so it’s important that when I say not care when else anybody else thinks I’m not talking about being obnoxious Right, you know, I just had a conversation with my son just this morning He’s like mom like they’re just I noticed that there are people who don’t care about other people in their environment, you know they recently went camping and people had their radios on too like 5 o’clock at night 5 o’clock in the morning and My son was like mom, you know, how could it be that? Some people just don’t have consideration for other people and I said there’s a lot of that on this planet you know, I’m not talking about that type of egocentrism and that type of narcissism because narcissists exploit and they feel entitled and they Do what they want to do in Spite of how it affects other people Somebody with healthy narcissism will follow their own heart but not at the expense of someone else, right? They will use common sense. So instead of keeping the radio on till 5:00 in the morning The person a person with health in our system looks around this campground Sees that there are babies right in the next tent that mom and dad are trying to put them bed at 8 o’clock Namaste we and we’ll turn the radio off at 8 o’clock it’s called being a good neighbor and we don’t do that because we want these people to like us we do it because it makes good common sense and We are true. We are trying to find a way to live with our fellow man Narcissism makes it almost impossible Because a narcissist will not care that you have kids sleeping at 8 o’clock at night, right? And so Someone else let’s say you’re at a campground and you have children, right and you’re trying to put these kids to bed at 8 o’clock Somebody with common sense will say all right, eight o’clock. Listen, we were out all day We played music all day 8 o’clock. The babies want to go to sleep. We empathy for our neighbor because We want to get along with people right but you’ll have a narcissist in the bunch who doesn’t give a shit Right who’s like I don’t care if they have kids up here at 8 o’clock I want to play my music till midnight and they will go ahead and play their music at midnight and that is a very Adversarial type person that is someone who does not play nice in the sandbox and that’s a shame, you know Karma will find them in if I was in that situation I would probably not say anything to the people that were playing the radio. I would probably get up and move I avoid conflicts this day I don’t look for trouble and If I find somebody is ornery its I just get up and I move you know unless that person is sticking his or her finger in my eye and in certain situations we have to push back but I think in Many of many of the times we can just namaste about the love and light that’s in you. I’m so sorry you’re so below the veil of consciousness and are so ornery I’m so sorry that that’s your experience, you know, and then Walk away absolutely. It’s okay to To to find to walk away and you know gain control over your vibrational frequency again so we’re gonna try to wrap this up, you know a Couple of you have asked me about the next class my next class actually launches August 2nd, and I’m having a live webinar this week, July 19th at 6 p.m. I will include the links sometime today in the description box So you are welcome to check that out so If you have come from a dysfunctional home, I want you to start understanding that You are no different and I truly believe this I’ve said this a lot recently that what happens in one space happens across all space So what happens in a petri dish right with? an amoeba or a cell what happens in a petri dish if you have a cell and You put it in a petri dish that is conducive to growth that cell will do Beautifully if you take a cell and you put it into a petri dish and you put it into a culture medium medium that is abrasive that is not conducive to growth then that cell will suffer the consequences, right and mutations Will take place Sean just said my petri dish was full of bacteria Okay, that’s not your fault. So if you can recognize if you could just take a moment and have a breakthrough and recognize that none of that was your fault and the way that you think and the way that you feel is a symptom of being put into a Difficult culture medium. Um, okay, we got some troll. Oh Lord, so do not have anything else to do Today dear trolls. It’s a beautiful day so much good happening in the world. Why why try to why try to Ruin it for other people like that’s gonna come to get you and that’s sad I Wish you luck with that. But anyway, we’re moving forward. So, um if you were put into a difficult culture medium as as a child know that it’s not your fault and Know that the way you think and the way you react and even your belief systems have been affected By this culture medium, right very important that you want you wake up and you realize that you have been Unconscious right very important that you strive for consciousness, you know the Facebook group that I have it’s it could be difficult sometimes because you know You know I think we have to So we can’t we can’t give the finger to anyone that that defeats the purpose of What we’re trying to do here We’re trying transcend, which understand we’re trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together in our lives. So So that we can figure out how to transcend and live a more enlightened life So that we can connect to the light that is within us, you know So that we can connect to the power that is within us so that we can shine our light on in this planet and on this world for other people, so We can be an example to people who are still Below the veil of consciousness and we can be an example for people who feel stuck, you know And the only way that we can help one. Another is if we Help ourselves, and yes, misery just said become a beacon to heal others for an example We can’t heal anybody. What we do is we can inspire faith. We can inspire hope and Eventually that will give way to love right. So without hope and that’s why I create videos because If we can just what I hear over and over and over in some of the emails that I get is that you know Lisa I was despondent You know, it was 2:30 in the morning I just had a fight with my mom, you know And and she was calling me filthy filthy names and then my father came in and he screamed at me and beat me with the belt and then I called my Boyfriend and he called me a filthy dirty rotten bitch, you know and and you know Then I I went to school and my I was bullied at school, you know I mean the people live these lives like it’s awful, right? You get someone like that who watches one of my videos and says, oh my God All of this is happening and I thought it was me. I thought it was because there was something wrong with me I didn’t realize realize that my environment was a mirror to what I had experienced. I Didn’t realize that everything that was going on around me was essentially a symptom Here I was taking complete blame. I thought it was all my fault and none of this was my fault, right? And so it’s important that we begin to recognize What happened to us how it affected our subconscious programming we have to come into Understanding how codependency keeps us blinded to what’s really going on and how if you’re unaware as to how Your childhood affected you I don’t care how many affirmations you do. I don’t care how many Law of Attraction? Teachers you follow I don’t care how many workshops you go to. I don’t care if you don’t understand How your childhood? affected your vibrational frequency, right and your emotional set points, then you will be frustrated and You will feel like it’s you Even though it’s not you it’s just your programming because you’re unconscious to it and you know Cheryl just said even the Bible says you must renew renew the mind you absolutely I think you know And herb just said try not to be angry anymore So I heard what you have to do is you have to accept that you’re angry Right, which is new for codependence little when we were when we were children We weren’t taught that we our feelings were valid So and we’re also taught in society that there’s something wrong with anger and there’s something wrong with being depressed. I don’t think so If you’ve been sexually abused your whole life you know by your father and Your mother said you were a liar and your sister and your brother think you call you a drama queen but you were your father’s favorite and you’ve been sexually abused your whole life and now you’re 16 and you’re depressed and A doctor says oh you’re depressed. You should not be depressed. I disagree with that. Okay, because it makes comments It’s common sense that a child in this case a girl a young child that’s been abused sexually abused by her father her entire life by a family of let’s say alcoholics who are in denial and Her reality is being denied by mom because she’s so dependent upon Her husband and so codependent and so worried about what the neighbors thinking about what the priest thinks That she cannot come into alignment with her daughter’s reality in spite of the fact that it is true because it means emotional in her case Death because what if the piece know what’s going on behind closed doors? Oh my god What shames she will feel that’s her programming? What’s more important is her her being the mama bear and taking care of a child And screw what the neighbors think and screw with the precincts right and locking this man up in jail for abusing her child That’s what should happen. Okay, but when you’re that child, right and you grow up and You’re depressed. There’s nothing wrong with you Nothing wrong with you for being depressed. That is a natural consequence of being put into a petri dish or a cultural medium that isn’t agonistic to your health and your growth So no, dear one. You cannot be Susie sunshine When you’ve had a father like that, so it is natural and it is normal to be depressed natural and normal We don’t want to stay there Right. The goal is to move up the emotional ladder. The goal is recovery. The goal is hey, my parents abused me Hey, my mother enabled it. Hey, it wasn’t me. It was them. Hey, my father would continually molest me He was he was drunk. You know, he would take me out to bars. He would spike my milk He would abuse me in the back of the car I would wake up in the middle of it and he would tell me to shut up and never tell anybody When I did tell people Everybody that I spoke to told me that I was crazy. Of course you’re depressed who wouldn’t be Are you kidding me? Human beings are born to be loved and what that’s not your experience. You’re gonna feel depressed And that’s normal so we have to stop judging Ourselves, right? So amber just said depression diagnosed at 12 to start a self-harm. It was horrible. I’m free now awesome There’s a reason this is a cause-and-effect universe. Okay? Nothing happens by chance Absolutely, nothing. So if some somebody is Depressed I understand. Well, we have to start thinking as as human beings Right. We have to break through to programming we have to break through what’s happening in a lot of psychiatrists and therapists office today we have to know that is our job to Understand why we’re depressed right and we are not being Babies and we are not being drama queens Because we are saying my mother said this and my father did that and my siblings This was their experience and I went to school. I was bullied You have to put the connections back together, right? What will happen is many people will say ah that happened a long time ago. Oh, they shouldn’t bother you. Are you passed? No Don’t talk to those people Okay I would rather you take a journal and make the connections all by yourself and have this just happen in your own head and Have you work it out in your own head then to talk to people that don’t get it Right. The worst thing you can do is talk to somebody who doesn’t understand you cuz it’s just gonna confuse you more So the minute you talk to somebody and you get the hint that they can’t hear you Stop talking that is your control You have the power to control that stop talking to people who don’t want to hear you. It is unhealthy Talk to yourself Get your cell phone out record your conversations write it out in a notebook See the connections see the connections the minute you talk to somebody and yes, Jeffrey just said it’s retraumatization Sizing so each other How about how about when you tell some but this was my experience when you know here I was thinking That I was being, you know an open and vulnerable young wife telling my ex-husband, you know All of my feelings and what I experienced as a child my parents, right? Opening up to him thinking I can save like I can safely tell him what I was feeling wrong Wrong because the minute I didn’t do what I wanted Him to do what the minute I didn’t do the minute I didn’t do what he wanted me to do or the minute I said hey, you know, you said you were gonna do this Why’d you do that? He came out with no wonder your parents Thought you were a bitch. No wonder your parents think you’re a psycho. No wonder your brother doesn’t like you. It was like oh My god it totally retraumatization That at that time my life that sucked me down the rabbit hole the codependent rabbit hole because I really thought it was me I did not realize that Speaking to someone that way meant Most likely you were on the narcissistic spectrum You had no empathy for the person that you were talking to that. You were supposed to love, right? I didn’t I wasn’t able to get to pin the tail on the donkey and say wow, that’s abusive language Like wow, I trusted you Wow. You just tried to hurt me that came Many years later, you know probably about year 12 when I began to understand codependency and This idea that I was subconscious and and the life was holographic and I was beginning to put the law of attraction All together and I was really starting to understand The puzzle that I was from the observer space not from the reactive space I was really starting to get it. I was able to say wow wow, like what he just said was abusive and I was finally able to get separation between me and him and What I realized was the way that he spoke to me was abusive And so then all of a sudden his words they weren’t able to hurt me anymore All of a sudden what he said like ricocheted off of me I was more focused on focused on what he said and how he said it that became my focus and When I was able to identify his behavior as abusive, that’s when I really started to feel Liberated, you know, so pay attention to the ways people speak to you The other thing that I want to say before before we go is that you know This is particularly men do this too, you know but this is particularly true of women when they get frustrated and they get upset they cry and You know, they they break down and then they try to tell the person that they’re with let’s say in this situation Their partner is a man, right? And we we women break down and we try to tell our boyfriends or our husbands or our fathers or our brothers How we’re feeling? Oftentimes, you know what we’re saying gets lost right? I Think what I what I want to say to anybody who? who who tends to really get emotional when upset and Starts to cry that is not the time to have Conversations with somebody else that is the absolute worst time to want to talk to somebody, okay so my suggestion is dear ones is when you Begin to get emotional give yourself a half an hour going to the tub. Cry your eyes out get it all out, right? Give yourself some time get out a notebook and then Identify what’s really really bothering you, okay? So Cheryl just said can’t talk to anyone in their pants and pain body. Everybody has a pain body. We’ve all been wounded We carry generations of trauma. None of us exists. None of us escape Excuse me, all of us exist but none of us escape the pain body at least I don’t think so. Okay We can we can escape it and we can resolve it but take some time it takes some skill It takes practice, right? You can’t do this in an hour video. You have to practice this This is this is a life change. And so what I suggest to people is if you tend to get very emotional Know that when you’re emotional is not the time to have a conversation. That is the worst time So when you start to get upset Grab ahold of yourself spend some time with your inner child go into the bathroom Cry do whatever you have to do. Cry get it all out right then give yourself time Right get that energy out of you Right because when you’re at the point where highly emotional to me is like the bet bat Bats that have been released from the belfry right like Shh or Pandora’s box All this energy is coming out of you quickly, and you can’t control it You can’t control your vibrations, which means you can’t control your intentions, which means you can’t control your words, right? And so what you want to do dear one is give yourself the time to release all that energy Right then center yourself. Maybe do a meditation Then write out specifically what you want to say to this person keep this in mind. You cannot control other people nor should you try You don’t want to be in relationships with people that you feel like you have to control them, right? So no more of being asked we’re trying to shove yourself inside a hole, right? You are a square. Then you try to find another square when you’re looking through relationships relationships Should it’s just like I said what happens in one space happens across all space when you’re trying on a pair of shoes That’s like you trying on a relationship when you try on a pair of shoes and they don’t fit you just go They don’t fit this is uncomfortable. I’m not in alignment with these shoes They don’t quite fit the way I want them to you know They hurt my ankles or get my toes are crunched up my feet just can’t be my feet. They’re stuck They’re just just being constricted and what we do is we take the shoes off and we put them back on the Shelf, right? It’s the same thing with a relationship when you’re or a class or a career or a friendship Right. It has to feel right You have to feel in alignment with it and if you don’t take it off It’s totally fine to say it’s not working out. I thought it would but it’s not and I wish you well, but This isn’t working. Right and then you you try out relationships that feel like they do work But if you are trying to stick yourself if you’re a square, we’re all squares and if you’re trying to stick yourself into a hole You have to acknowledge that my relationship With my ex-husband was like that for 12 long years. I Kept trying to push this relationship kept trying to make it work I would cry I would stand feet. I would become completely Exasperated trying to push and trying to shove and trying to get him to see What I wanted him to see and he wasn’t having it he wasn’t having it and then one day I realized I began to grow up and I realized I Should have never tried to change him I should have just accepted that he was the way he was and I should have accepted that this did not fit I didn’t know that I was stuck I Didn’t know that I was codependent. I Didn’t know that I was below the veil of consciousness. I didn’t understand my vibrational patterns were activated I didn’t know that I was 85 or 90 percent water and I was vibrating at a particular frequency With the particular energy and that my emotional setpoint was actually keeping me stuck inside relationship dynamics that were actually Adversarial and abrasive. I didn’t know that I was doing that in my adult life because that’s what I had experienced in my childhood I didn’t know that But when I began to wake up so much. Peace Came over me and I realized that I was wrong for trying to change this man. I was wrong he is now in a relationship with somebody that he gets along with just fine, you know and You know, she’s very happy with him You know, I personally think it’s a codependent relationship just my opinion from the outside looking in but again, that’s just my humble opinion and he likes being taken care of and She likes catering to him and so it works Right. So now he’s not being yelled at or bitched at or complained at by someone like me. He was like Something wrong here, you know, he is very happy I am in a relationship today with somebody who is very much like myself, you know, very independent Enjoys his alone time. I enjoy my alone time. We both love to travel we both love growing we both Love our children, and they are a priority We both really want to be self-aware people We both have very high empathy for one another. We’re very very considerate of one another I did not feel like my ex was considerate of anyone unless he was trying to Bamboozle them unless he was trying to manipulate them or get out of trouble Then he could show compassion for people but then again, that’s my experience He would tell you different and that’s totally fine. And his girlfriend would tell you different and that’s totally funny. This is just my experience and so I Really hope that this live stream has helped you feel more grounded and most more centered. You know, that’s awesome If that that is the case I do want you guys to know that I my next well, we break through class launches August 2nd You can find out more about it by going to Ww1 calm and in the head of our clip 12-week program We launched it on a second I actually moderate the group with about 5 other moderators who have been through both my classes the 12-week and the master class and They also moderate my large Facebook group. So they’re very skilled at what they do In my large Facebook group, we’re not there to coach people. We’re there to moderate and guide We don’t get too involved in conversations. We just make sure that the conversations are fair and respectful People do get coached and do get more guidance in the 12-week groups I just don’t feel like it’s our place on a large Facebook group to Coach people that didn’t ask to be coached, you know, and Facebook can be a rabbit hole Anybody who has been who has been a part of a Facebook community? You know how quickly posts can go bad? so if you’re interested in finding a place where you can talk about your experience in a codependent family in a safe place and please check out our Facebook group for adult children of alcoholics and Narcissistic parents. We’d love to have you. If you do decide to become a part of that community. You will be asked to provide a valid Facebook profile And and you’re going to have to ask her I think three questions. Otherwise your profile will be denied It’s just the way we keep members safe So, thank you. So so so much for being here And I hope that this has helped you become a little bit more aware of what may be keeping you stuck and I hope it also helps you understand that affirmations. Do not work and You know thinking you’re following the law of attraction will actually frustrate you more if you don’t understand your subconscious programs, and if you don’t get a hold of your perceptions of self and you don’t understand that what needs to be molded first is your perception of self and what you have to Understand is that your current perception of self if it’s anything but positive That means that somebody helped create this negative perception of you and that’s programming, right? So you are absolutely enough. You are absolutely divine You are absolutely worthy There are life skills that you can learn to help you take control of your emotions to accept how you feel feel what you feel and make decisions about What is best for you? You can be taught how to let go you can be taught how to live a non-resistant lifestyle that takes practice, right? It doesn’t happen overnight. If you’ve been abused don’t expect yourself to know how to get healthy because it’s like You know, would you expect you know? Somebody who’s grown up in Japan to know how to speak English. No that defies logic, right? It’s like I said before what happens in one space happens across all space. Do not expect yourself to Know how to love yourself if you never felt loved you have to learn how to do that right do not expect yourself to know how to be happy if Your parents are miserable people Children have to resonate with the same frequency of their parents so if your home life was miserable and unhealthy and You know had a very low vibration to survive You had to resonate with that frequency if didn’t There was the danger was gonna happen for you. You had to resonate with your parents frequency The great thing is that you can break through Right, and that’s why I call myself to break through life coach because I want to help people like you break through, you know so please check out my website at www.yourmathgal.com where Oh ma ato dot my my kajabi ka Jaiye ABI dot-com and you can check out my recent blog posts. You can also find me on Insight timer. I have dozens of free podcasts and meditations that you can listen to for free And I have over 400 YouTube videos that you can mark off, right? You can create your own playlist and that’s one way that you can make sure that you’ve actually watched every video is to create a Lisa e Romano playlist and Go back to my earliest videos watch them and once a day or once a week Whatever it is watch another video add it to your playlist and then you know If you’ve watched that video already, I do I do know that That we are unlearning and relearning So do not expect to know this information from watching one video right because your brain has space for short-term memory But what we’re trying to do is we’re trying to take this information and shunt it to the new your cortex where it can be downloaded as Long-term memory so know that you have to do things repetitiously and continuously write Repetition observation and consistency will create long-term memory Oh troll alert Wow Hold on. Hold on alone hide this person. We want to delete this person from the entire Okay, cool That’s awesome. I actually they actually alerted me to a troll alert. That was just awesome how sad that trolls exist? Whatever. It’s like life. We alert we gotta learn to roll with it and not let them you know, you know gray, raucous maybe but I Prefer to like completely avoid if I can Why do I want them in my experience right later? just not worth it my Vibrations I try to keep my vibrations high and I think sometimes when I think gray rock is awesome in a lot of situations But you’re right. I need a moderator. I need a channel moderator. You’re right. I’ll look into that But me I want to maintain my vibrations That’s what I have control over life is just too damn awesome for me not to maintain my vibrations and attract Amazing love and joy and happiness and peace and contentment so dear ones You can check me out on inside timer Facebook Instagram Pinterest. Please follow my boards if you like and Yeah, subscribe to the YouTube channel You’ll get alerted every time I do a live stream and if you’re interested, like I said into in the class I have it a live webinar this Thursday, you know you’ll be learning it a lot a lot about the brain and a lot about abuse and a lot about what you need to know to heal and To take new information and chunked it to long-term memory. Okay, because that’s what we need We need this information to be part of our long-term memory bank. So I will see you guys soon Namaste I bow to the love and a light that is absolutely in Despite You

100 thoughts on “Recovery From Narcissistic Abuse/Covert Narcissistic Mother/Violent Narcissistic Father/Lisa Romano”

  1. Nope. Nope. Nope. Never. Parents deal with their problems without their children. Full stop. In the very end each of us is an individual . Let go me. I am mum.

  2. Dangerous breeding grounds I agree your helping me a lot

    I will step out of the box – take control of my life in a healthy way !!!!

  3. Love that – it’s very unnatural to feel unloved we have to

    Get back to a natural state – and feel loved love ourselves

  4. People who were born in healthy homes with psychologically aware parents are so lucky. I have always felt emotionally unsupported. My family is superficially very close but I feel so fragile and weak emotionally sometimes.. I have had huge trouble getting out of a narcissistic codependent relationship with a guy. My mom used to create a scene when I used to express my excitement and whatever. I was made guilty of being myself. I was Infact made fun of for pursuing my passions.. N as a result i have trouble feeling a sense of self and taking my career seriously. My mom used to threaten me when I didn't use to study, saying that i would end up being a little construction worker or like those brick and sand guys if I don't study. N i have had some huge core issues around my self worth and career. I have literally been beaten to death by my abusive absent father and basically i feel so empty and almost like an orphan inside. Though I had my mom growing up and I respect her and understand why she was incapable of bringing up healthy children. But it's like she was only interested in making sure I don't get into trouble and making sure I studied enough to pass. She wasn't really friendly or anything.. Very distant. N all i wanted was to have a loving connection with her but seemed like my sister was more important to her cuz Obviously she was smarter at studies. She also used to curse me and tell me mean stuff.. Also there were two times when I failed my tests and I was so ashamed n scared.. N when I gathered courage i was told like I deserved to get this kick in order to get on track. There has been several incidences where i have been treated really unkind n unfairly. It wouldn't have affected me if I got a compensation in the form of praises and appreciation, encouragement. I never got much appreciation at home. N i felt like this leftover thing no one really understands. I have learned to stay disconnected with my emotions and people. I've become a living dead, zombie as in not able to be friends with anyone cuz everyone leaves me in the end. I just wish I could find a psychologist friend for life. Emotional issues are a big deal for me. I'm a very highly emotional person. I cry over lost internet friends from 5 6 years ago. Internet has been my only support system. I won't have been able to graduate and managed to get through 25 years of life if I didn't have internet. I just wish I had good parent figures for support for my inner child. My inner child is wrecked n crying since years after an awful breakup with a friend turned lover. I just want emotional healing. I'm done with shit.

    What's even more annoying is the brand new fucking twin flame nonsense. I'm so done with it. Such drama about this shit. I literally wanna kill my twin. All I want is to heal myself n get going with life and now comes this twin flame drama where i have been hurting myself because of this uncertain situation with a so called celebrity that's my twin.. I'm grinding in pain. Actual physical pain.. While I can see this person talking about making out with random bitches. Taking pride in the number of female fans he has. Enjoying the fakeness of his life.. While I can't do anything about it cuz he's out of reach n only connects telepathically to tell me that I shouldn't compare our lives. Well then guess what bitch we're over. I'm not dealing with this shit of a twin flame situation. It took me so long to realize how much I've been hurting myself cuz I was programmed at home to be codependent and not have any self worth like my sister.

  5. Thank you, I have been listening to your videos for the last hour, as I have been trying to find solutions in healing an old relationship (ex-husband) who was very abusive. I have not had to have contact with him for many yrs, and now have to. Your videos, your words, touch my heart. Thank you.

  6. If so many problems stem from insufficient parenting, why don't our schools offer an addition to curriculum which focuses on parenting and life skills. At the very least we should be teaching young people that not all people need NOT be parents. People often say, jokingly, that people should have to be licensed to be parents. While I am not for regulating parental rights, I do wish young people were exposed to some kind of parenting education.. I think this is more important than any academic subjects.

  7. Hi, I have just found your channel and you describe how I feel to a T. I will be binge watching for the fore seeable future lol

  8. Another thing, I have definitely overly loyal to a fault and often to my detriment. This is due to my childhood programming. Its taken me years to realize that I do not have to be loyal to those who mistreat me.

    I have a right to say no and just walk away. My mother uses guilt to manipulate me. I have learned to stand up to her finally.

  9. I really agree with you that our culture is very co-dependent. I cannot talk to anyone about my childhood. If I dare do that I hear all kinds of excuses about my mother's behavior. I am told that if I see things from her perspective I would feel better about her. Really? That's been the whole problem! They don't get it.

  10. Елена Михеева

    People are not mostly water, it is another lie from Rockefeller´s medicine totally based on myths to kill you fast. You can see it in the mirror you are not mostly water. Why would people not trust their own eyes, I wonder

  11. Wow….i see how it may effect kids i see now days and yet did not make the ME connection of being told if you dont go get me a beer i will take you on that plane……was told i was naughty and would get takin to the air port…..not relizing it was just the road to get to the liquor store…..OMG to feel free of this crap is amazing….wow Bless YOU Lisa!!!!!

  12. Tak of feeling ur mom hates you….of the flood gates have opened…..i held for yrs if it wasnt for me my momwould not of went through the abuse cause she stayed with him cause i was born….yuper i sure did…i am not fault of her choices…POW

  13. Redheaded Writing Hood

    This video is so helpful to me! I have trolls now! I'm in good company huh? Thank you for all you do Lisa! I think I want to get your third book now? I think that's the one I'm on

  14. Esther Hicks was my first step to recovery but Lisa set me free. I started feeling like the Hicks material was holding me back and creating more frustration.

  15. This video brought up a memory for me. I remember when I was 9 I was constipated for like a month. I was so terrified to tell anyone. I was in so much pain every day. I finally told my dad because the pain was too uncomfortable but I was terrified to tell my dad anything, I remember I would make myself cry to get his attention so I could tell him my feelings. I remember when I told him he told me “why didn’t you tell me anything?” He’s a narcissist and was addicted to heroine at the time.

  16. I can hardly describe the horror I have been through and have just learned about this narccicist mother, emasculated dad, golden child brother and me, the adopted, sexually abused by cousins, set up as a crazy person that sees things that is not there hears things that are not there so they can maintain a perfect religious deacon image while no one ever said a word when my mother would tell me Satan is going to get me scapegoat. I just found out about all of this stuff a few days ago when I was trying to learn about a narccicist friend of mine that had pushed me over the edge and I am freaking out. I have never experienced anything like I am feeling right now and I am still so afraid my family I was adopted from won't believe how bad it was and choose to believe what my dysfunctional adopted family that are all lying cowards have said about me for years and I am freaking out pretty bad.

  17. Why do narcissist parents neglect the middle child?,why do they lie and gaslight me but treat my older sister like she can do no wrong?,this has created a life of being scapegoated.. How do you stop being scapegoated with every new person you meet?,,,,is it normal to lose the whole family to this?,,they have turned everyone against me since they have taught them that this is my role… This is not my role and I will be damned if I spend one second with anyone who treats me less than kindly and with love and respect… How do I change this dynamic as I don't want to live alone and isolated but being abused is not an option.. How do I change this dynamic,?tired of the abuse

  18. I find that are so many people are codependant as they can not stop working or running around being busy cause they can't stop and look at themselves. I think retirement is a biggg shock to a lot of people aa they then slow down and then they have moments to reflect.

  19. Living around a narcissistic environment is so hard . Parents, brother, Husband and son is nearly taking me out . I am going to try to walk soon . It is damaging me so much .

  20. My mean family that are still alive are even corrupting the minds of the next generation. It shows and there are signs. They are staying away with false judging of my brother and I. I see it. What a joke!!!! We literally are called "the others"

  21. Kelly cortesi jones

    Currently going through this. Thank you for everything Lisa and viewers. Continue to help bring awareness in masses. Your meditations are also amazing. Namaste.

  22. I wonder if all children know they love their parents this much? It sounds like too much love and yes, it seems abusive but, this lady is highly functional.

  23. Hi Lisa..I just realized a few months ago my mother was a Narcissist due to some circumstances that I became aware of enough to ask what is going on in my life here.. I love your videos.. I do not have the loyalty to my mother that you spoke of here.. I'm not sure the true meaning of that disconnect.. I do remember as a child trying to stay away from her as much as possible..I am in the process of healing from a lifetime of being asleep..

  24. Thank you Lisa. You saved my life. I am still right in the middle of it and have been listening to you since before December of 2017. It took my moms death at the end of 2018 to really dig in and see I needed to change me. Childhood memories are flooding in and Now see the puzzle all coming together. Done being abused. Namaste 🙏🏻. I love you!!!!❤️. So flipping hard but so worth going thru the pain.

  25. Trolls must be psychologists who are pissed off you're help ppl online freely!
    But there's more gratitude going towards you! Thx and love from South America!

  26. I couldn't get past the story of the boy in the stroller. Had to stop listening. I will research the links though as I'm on a quest to rewire my subconscious beliefs. Thank you.

  27. I know I’m a bit late to the party but I just wanted to say your videos are fantastic. I have learnt so much from watching them, about myself, my family and my choices in life. Thank you. I think you are wonderful.

  28. My wise husband tells me:"Don't have fear about what people could think about you.Probably they are thinking about themselves".It's so true.😂😂😂

  29. Finally someone who address the sub-conscience programming by an narcissist parent. When under anesthetics I can become combative. One doctor could not finish a procedure for ulcers because I became so combative while under. I would be a very bad drunk if I drank. Conscientiously I NEVER wanted to be like my father but things would seep out how he treated me that I would treat others the same way and I would then hate myself for it. My life was a constant battle to keep suppressed all the anger down caused by how I was treated as a child. I had two personalities battling each other in my mind. The one who I wanted to be and the one I hated being. In my 30's finally got a med for depression that helped this issue 90% on a daily biases but, meds do not help the sub-conscience issues that seep to the surface. I am in my 60's and my life has quieted down with less stress. Problem is the quiet has allowed me to hear and be aware of things coming up from the sub-conscience programming. Soooo glade that you address this. Looking forward to working this issue out.

  30. Bless your heart Lisa, changing people never works. We can only change ourselves and walk away! Everybody cant be in relationship. Often Adult relationships DO END for valid reasons! LET THEM END!!

  31. The water experiment sounds similar to the rice experiment. They took cooked rice put it in jars and one jar was screamed at and insulted every day and the other was spoken to kindly and caressed every day. Sounds weird but the screamed at rice rotted a lot faster than the rice who had recieved Love. That words have such a heavy influence is incredible!

  32. I don't believe what other people think is irrelevant. I've known many people in my life (especially my parents) who do think what other people think is irrelevant and that lends itself to really bad experiences (trauma from the visuals). I think it's best to find a balance, especially when we're sharing space with others. I wish more people would evaluate and assess themselves, the occasion, context and/or event and ask themselves if they are being considerate of the other people in the shared space and experience. And I do think it's really dismissive and inconsiderate if someone conducts themselves in a shared space as though they're only in their own space and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, it's dismissive.

  33. The subconscious believes what the conscious tells it or visualizes. Thus the positive practiced thought has the power to recrystallize the subconscious programming, as it raises the vibration.

  34. @25:37 — "We don't ask ourselves how we feel because it's NOT part of our programming TO BE ASKED." . . . "I don't have the input to love myself – that chip doesn't EXIST." . . . "I live as an EXTENSION of everyone else — It's my job to make sure that everybody ELSE is happy."
    —— Lisa, these few sentences made me do a double-take. How absolutely TRUE this has been for me! I still can't think straight as long as I know there are problems of others that MUST be solved before I can take a long deep breathe and actually focus on myself. WHERE does this dynamic come from? How did I paint myself into this corner? As years have gone by, the gaps in time between these endless problems gets smaller all the time — I really have to work on this and CHANGE. I actually cannot believe how much I have allowed myself to be burdened by things that are not my fault or responsibility. Lisa, you are a treasure. Your work means a great deal to me and you have a wonderful way of expressing these issues. You cut right to the core of the issue. You are truly gifted and I feel lucky you've chosen to share your challenges and wisdom so publicly. That takes a lot of courage and confidence, since the general public can be so nit-picky and sometimes, very rude in their critiques. Thank you for your incredible generosity and for your vulnerability and for the love you have for your brothers and sisters in this world. ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

  35. Thank you so much Lisa….how do you transform anger/feelings of revenge toward one who narcissistically abused you for decades/years/months — and after you wake-up & get away….they treat others seemingly “just fine” or “pleasant” without apparent abuse🤷🏻‍♀️ — that stage is extremely painful for me

  36. I have never felt so bad as I do now! I discovered recently that I was with a narcissist and after that my life has turned upside down. Now I am understanding very much about myself, my family, my previous relationships and sometimes I feel sick.
    I have a daughter who is being manipulated by his father. He is probably a cover narcissist but I couldn’t see it before now. My beautiful daughter lives with him and I don’t know what to do to get her back. Help me Lisa!
    I am recovering from a narc relationship that was the second marriage.
    My daughter is choosing to live with her father because I set boundaries and he doesn’t do. Sometimes I really don’t know what to do. I feel trapped in my own life.
    I live alone here and I feel as I need help, but I don’t know where and what to do because everything evolves money and I don’t have.

  37. Hi Lisa. I'm past the worst and feeling cleansed. Because A Course in Miracals says the body is a teaching tool or the engine of destruction. Every time I approach you or any other coach, Staggering..got a date next week. I told her if we go to coffee, I want to sit by the door to bail. I saw the blank stare from a narc chick last week , and she made a "suggestive proposal" I went into tears and gave her option to let me walk her to her car, the usual , except in the day I definitely would. So the breakdown was a nudge to tell me stay no contact. My ex trolled me on here. I didn't even give it thought. Lisa you should look in the mirror and say " damn I'm good" . lol.

  38. I absolutely love your videos and I will definitely be a client of yours in the next couple months but…quick question… In that water study, did they then attempt to pray over the water that had been previously tainted with negativity?? I'm just wondering if it was heal-able once damaged…

  39. My mother used to threaten to Break off my arm or leg and beat me with the bloody stump. She never did but I'm am pretty sure it contributed to me being afraid of her. she did once chase me into my room with the broom and beat me with that.

  40. I am being smeared called evil and cruel for not taking my children into see Narc Adopted Mother. Every fibre of my body is screaming not to go but still am caught up in what people think. Ive tried ti explain she is an abuser NO ONE is hearing me. I'm doing to protect myself and my children not to punish her. Please someone give me some advice. I feel like I'm being eaten from the inside out!

  41. I am so blessed to come across your videos. One thing I’ve came to in this life, that really hit me is. I’m not running my thoughts they are running me’ trying to get back to that. Your words are life saving. Ty again

  42. In order to save ourselves , going NO CONTACT can be the only way . I think living rurally helped my narc parents to inflict their special type of poison on their kids – nobody to hear them . Later on some people built within ear shot . When I married a couple of them told me that I was lucky to be marrying into a better family than I came from . My parents threatened us with death and physical harm EVERY DAY between the actual physical abuse . Our lives were be devoted to stroking the egos of the abusive parents and doing their bidding the rest of our lives . I was the family scapegoat and the most worthless of all . I got away after the abuse escalated after marrying . My siblings to this day pretend none of this stuff went on .

  43. I have a very abusive younger sister. Our mom died when I was barely 15, and society told me to become responsible or caring for my poor widowed father, my poor younger sister, my poor handicapped brother, and my poor bereaved and slowly beginning to experience dementia lonely grandmother. My dad abused the crap out of me, and joined with my siblings in a team of 3 to tease me. When I went for help ( a doctor, a dentist, etc.) I was shamed for being ungrateful to my widowed father. I have been in 12 step recovery for many years, because psychiatry made it worse ( pills, and labels). I am now a certified Life coach and Energy healer., a 12 step sponsor and a coach and healing facilitator for women who went through this. My sister and her husband have disowned me when I too time off for myself when my second spouse was dying. My sister is not interested in 12 step work, family therapy, mediation or anything that might help the family. I let het go but it hurt like hell. I am now in a very supportive Unitarian Universalist community ( No dogma , no creed and All is One) and there we "get it" and we support each other. So HAPPY about that . YEAH!!!!

  44. I love this woman! Her consciousness changed my life. Narcissist parents & husband just about destroyed me and I felt dead inside. Finally I am being the person my soul knows that I am! I am grateful!!! ❤️❤️ ❤️

  45. How do I forgive my mother Lisa it's eating me up inside what she done to my life abused me caused me to meet an abuser father of my kids he in turn tried to reach them to hate me for no reason I lost everything over her I am going crazy from so much loss I can't focus and find peace in the present

  46. Missed this live stream long ago, Lisa! I have been watching your videos. It is a mindblowing truth! This VIDEO Replay was so revealing and IT was MY life. I went NC about 2 years ago but still, feel so sick inside! I haven't one good memory with either of those "parents"! Not one that they did not destroy immediately to drop me from the sky and get thrills watching me shatter. Covert NM and Violent Overt NF with enabling older Golden NB. These are interchangeable…Covert and Overt.. with and without physical violence…behind closed doors! I NEED freedom At Last, Lisa! TYSM!.

  47. The part you mentioned about the child at the aquarium reminded me of my childhood. My cousins and I have vivid memories of our parents/aunts and uncles threatening to break out legs or throw us through a wall for playing too loudly while they were having card parties.

    Your videos have been so helpful for me to relate to others and realize I am not alone in my experience and I can be ok!

  48. As far as the whole issue of being too old to start improving your life and your consciousness, maybe this story from a friend of mine will add some perspective:
    She was 55 years old when she started graduate school to get a Ph.D. in psychology with the goal of being a therapist. She was asked by several people in her life, with varying degrees of scorn and incredulousness, "Why are you doing all this now? You're 55 years old – most people your age are thinking about retiring someday!" I loved her response: "In five years, I'll be 60 no matter what. So I can either be 60 years old with a Ph.D., or 60 years old without one."
    So you can either be whatever age you'll be five, ten, fifteen years from now and still stuck in your same old patterns of thinking and behaving; or you can be five, ten, fifteen years older and have a whole new abundant life with a healthy perspective and healthy boundaries. You can't do anything about the years that have already passed, but you can make the years you have left the best years of your life.

  49. Pray to Jesus of Nezereth he loves you and died on the cross for you rose after three days.. he becca sin so we can be free from the penalty of sin.. and can have eternal life in Jesus name.. watch the last reformation movie ✝️💜

  50. My entire immediate family all abused me, which included my Dad, Mom, Grandma and sister. And many many others have abused me. I was always too terrified to have a voice. When I did speak up I was always shut down. Nothing I had to say was ever heard. So I kept to myself and stayed silent because I knew I was not loved yet hated. It's a terrible way to feel and be forced to live in these surrounding because it's your family and I was stuck.

  51. Your teachings about narcissistic mothers have been so crucial for my healing. Thank you Lisa. No one else has described my situation so accurately. I didn't think anyone else understood what I suffered as a child.

  52. WOW!!!! I always held onto my moms leg in kindergarten and wouldn't let go… she ultimately became a teacher helper for a short time to get me to go to school… This never ended, all through my school experience I never wanted to go to school, i wanted to be with mom. But I NEVER realized what was really going on. Thank you!!!!!

  53. I have felt all my life that my mother and my siste rboth just hate me… They were always so cruel, mean, abusive and actually caused detrimental problems for me and my family that ultimately led to my kids being seperated living with her and my ex husbands parents and me being left in the state we lived but they all left to other states with my children, drugs to numb came into play, I dies 3 times, got clean after 7 years all by myself, moved back to my home state wherre mom had my oldest son and was only 1o hours away from my other two in a different sate living with ex in laws… No one accepted me, I went to dental assist school graduated 2nd in my class came, was the highest paid out of school, working two jobs and doing any and everything to prove myself and no one cared. They all would be happy if i would just drop off the face of the earth…. This is just a pinch of my story, a single grain of salt

  54. Thank you so much I am 56 and just found out though thearpy that I had not did any thing to my mother who had treated me like she hate me all my life she has turned my daughter against me
    My daughter left my house in the middle of night when she 16 and every since then I have allowed her to disrespect me she is now 23
    My mother is narcissistic and bipolar

  55. …i was suffering of narcissistics before discovering the name of this pathology, and am still a bit under cognitive dissonance about my family and some other people but i've thought that since the begining i felt these ..awful vibes i catched from i don't know where : it's like a Shaolin training (hard and precise)(that leads you to your limits and even beyond) or i mean a light warrior training ; and we're all connected and there is for sure a reason why i was feeling that enormous awful weird thing.
    I was initiated to reiki too so i began feeling for real energies around me and i figured myself as a natural healer who had to face and know how awful humanity feels in some parts !
    It was like heavy panick attacks but then i've found in researches about narcissism and energy that often, it is induced by a toxic company or surrounds. . .
    And as i had already once seriously attempted to my life, i had to find a way to give me courage to endure what i felt, and if i had'nt attempted to my life before, i would have done it at that time, cause i was even not capable any more to sleep alone or just feel good with myself, be confident, just in my body, the basis!
    So i thought at that time that i worked for God or i mean counciousness, truth, cause there is, i know it, and these liars can not change reality ! And that gave me an amazing faith and i survived all these attacks (that are not only psychic but headaches and heart troubles) and i pray for us, nice hearted people who gets all the others mess… Send you a big vibe of gratitude for the clarity you share <3
    (hope my english is understandable) i ve watch you sometimes but i do not understand everything precisely for the moment (i speak french) but i understood the main point and what i needed to hear i guess, thank you really

  56. So,..apparently I'm a year late with my comment. Better late than never I suppose. Narcissistic parents rub off in unexpected ways, even on an introvert. We become so much on guard we often seem paranoid.

  57. There is one aspect that neither you nor Bessel van der Kolk or anyone ever seems to speak about. And yet it is a feeling that is so horrifying and central to trauma and abuse. And that is the unspeakable feelings of disgust, anger, hatred at the thought of the perpetrator, the revenge fantasies, etc connected to abuse. The sense of having been beaten and abused and not having had the justice done. I could not get through some books on trauma because the descriptions of the consequences of ttrauma trigger such primal anger and hatred on narcissistic and physical abusers becomes so overwhelming it feels almost like dying. I Sometimes think of how people in the holocaust must have felt facing these sadistic bastards of camp guards.. that is the anger that can be felt… Why does nobody do a video on this issue… Its connected with a sense that narcissists, abusers, sadists etc are despicable pieces of worthlessness.. and they would deserve to be tortured for the rest of their days. But nobody seems to talk about this.. how to release these feelings.. I wish I could get back at the person, but of course I would be sent to jail for this . I fI go to court, this would mean I lose even more time in my life to dealing with that person. But I want there to be a sense of justice Bafflingly, this is never or hardly addressed. It|s tragic.

  58. There is one aspect that neither you nor Bessel van der Kolk or anyone ever seems to speak about. And that is the enormous feelings of disgust, anger, hatred, revenge fantasies, etc connected to abuse. I could not get through some books on trauma because the anger and hatred one narcissistic and physical abusers becomes so overwhelming it feels almost like dying. I Sometimes think of how people in the hollocaust must have felt facing these sadistic bastards of camp guards.. that is the anger that can be felt… Why does nobody do a video on this issue… Its connected with a sense that narcissists, abusers, sadists etc are despicable pieces of crap.. and they would deserve to be tortured for the rest of their days. But nobody seems to talk about this.. how to release these feelings..

  59. I realize a lot of what I'm learning about abuse and toxic people, always came natural to me on how to deal with that. I would just block people or wouldn't explain myself to a toxic person. Always disliked conflicts. I remember, especially first few years of my marriage, when I would get upset and lock myself in the bathroom or bedroom to have few minutes to myself, my husband would break down the door or punch a wall, I felt suffocated, I couldn't recuperate. I felt stuck and alone and very depressed. I'm at a much better place right now understanding that I'm not alone and have these community's it's so uplifting and I'm so grateful for your work Lisa. Thank you!

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