Opening the Door: Services for Adult Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse

Opening the Door: Services for Adult Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse


>>HEY EVERYONE! WE ARE GOING GET STARTED.>>WELCOME TO THE WEBINAR, OPENING THE DOOR, SERVICES FOR ADULT SURVIVORS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE.>>MY NAME IS LEAH GREENE. I WORK FOR THE RESOURCE SHARING PROJECT
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AS THE RURAL TECHNICAL ASSISTANCE SPECIALIST. PRIOR TO WORKING FOR THE RSP I WORKED AT SEVERAL PROGRAMS ACROSS THE STATE OF IOWA AS AN ADVOCATE AND PREVENTION EDUCATOR. AND IN MY EXPERIENCE AT THOSE PROGRAMS, AND IN TALKING WITH MANY RURAL PROGRAMS ACROSS THE COUNTRY, I HAVE FOUND THAT MANY OF OUR SEXUAL ASSAULT ADVOCACY PROGRAMS AREN’T REALLY STRUCTURED TO MEET THE NEEDS OF ADULT SURVIVORS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE. THAT’S REPEATEDLY WHAT I HEAR FROM ADVOCATES WORKING IN THE FIELD IS CONFUSION AND HONESTLY, THAT IT FEELS A BIT SCARY TO WORK WITH ADULT SURVIVORS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE SINCE SO OFTEN THOSE OF US WORKING AS ADVOCATES DIDN’T REALLY RECEIVE SPECIFIC TRAINING ABOUT SUPPORTING ADULT SURVIVORS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE. AND REALLY, THAT OUR CENTERS ARE MOSTLY STRUCTURED TO MEET THE NEEDS OF FOLKS WHO HAVE BEEN VERY RECENTLY SEXUALLY ASSAULTED. THE WORLD CAN REALLY LOOK LIKE A SERIES OF LOCKED DOORS TO ADULT SURVIVORS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE, WHO CAN YOU REALLY TRUST, HOW CAN YOU FIND THE WORDS FOR WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU, WHERE DO YOU LOOK FOR SAFETY AND CONFIDENT AND HEALING. CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE AFFECTS TRUST, SAFETY, POWER, PHYSICAL HEALTH, EMOTIONAL AND SPIRITUAL WELL BEING, AND AWFULLY YOUR RELATIONSHIPS. AND FAR TOO MANY ADULT SURVIVORS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE SUFFER IN SILENCE, NEGLECT AND ISOLATION, COMPLETELY UNAWARE THAT OUR SERVICES EXIST FOR THEM AS WELL. AND IT’S OUR JOB TO HELP OPEN THE DOOR. SO I’M SO GLAD YOU’VE JOINED FOR US THIS WEBINAR, WHERE WE ARE GOING TO TALK ABOUT THE REALITIES OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE AND HOW BEST WE CAN STRUCTURE OUR PROGRAMS TO SUPPORT ADULT SURVIVORS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE. ALSO JOINING ME ON THIS WEBINAR TODAY IS MY COLLEAGUE, NORIEL, WHO WILL BE CHECKING IN WITH YOU GUYS IN THE CHAT BOX, ANSWERING ANY QUESTIONS YOU HAVE, AND IF THERE ARE QUESTIONS THAT YOU HAVE THAT YOU WOULD LIKE ME TO ADDRESS TO THE WHOLE GROUP, HE MIGHT BE POPPING IN AND ASKING THOSE QUESTIONS. IF YOU JUST WANT TO SAY HELLO NORIEL?>>HEY EVERYBODY. THANK YOU FOR THE GREAT INTRODUCTION, LEAH!>> THANKS NORIEL!>> SO FEEL FREE TO THROW OUT QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, AND CONNECT WITH ONE ANOTHER IN THE CHAT BOCK AS — BOX AS WE MOVE FORWARD.>>SO FIRST I JUST WANT TO START US OFF BY ACKNOWLEDGING THAT EACH OF US HAS A DEFAULT IMAGE IN OUR MIND WHEN WE
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PICTURE A SURVIVOR OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE. SO TRY TO IMAGINE BOYS AND MEN DURING THIS WEBINAR TO SEE A TRANSGENDER TEEN, TO CONSIDER FOLKS WITH DISABILITIES, ASK YOURSELF SOME QUESTIONS AS YOU LISTEN AND CONTINUE TO JUST PROCESS THIS INFORMATION IN THE DAYS AND WEEKS TO COME. THINK ABOUT HOW DOES THIS ISSUE MANIFEST DIFFERENTLY FOR PEOPLE OF COLOR. WHAT WOULD THIS ISSUE LOOK LIKE FOR SOMEONE LIVING IN POVERTY. SO I JUST AM HOPING WE WILL ALL SORT OF HAVE THOSE INTEREST,AL IDEAS OF SURVIVORS IN OUR MINDS AS WE MOVE THROUGHOUT THIS WEBINAR.>> CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE IS THE USE OF SEX TO EXERCISE POWER AND INFLICT HARM UPON A CHILD. SEXUAL ABUSE CAN BE COERCED OR MANIPULATED BY MANY MEANS, FROM BUILDING TRUST AND A LOVING RELATIONSHIP THE WAY THAT A PARENT OR FAMILY MEMBER MIGHT HAVE, TO PROVIDING MATERIALS THAT A CHILD OR YOUNG PERSON NEEDS, OR WANTS, AND THEN, OF COURSE, BY FORCE. ON THE SCREEN, WE HAVE A FEW DIFFERENT KINDS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE, CHILD PORNOGRAPHY, SEXUAL EXPLOITATION, CONTACT WITH GENITALS, SEXUAL JOKES, PENETRATION, INVASIVE HYGIENIC PRACTICES, THINGS THAT WE DON’T ALWAYS CONSIDER CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE, BUT SORT OF FIT THIS OVERARCHING UMBRELLA OF ALL THE DIFFERENT KINDS OF ABUSE THAT FIT UNDERNEATH CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE. THE VAST MAJORITY OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE HAPPENS IN SITUATIONS WHERE THE CHILD TRUSTS OR IS DEPENDENT UPON THE PERSON THAT IS ABUSING THEM. THIS ADDS ANOTHER LAYER TO THE SEXUAL ABUSE THAT REALLY DAMAGES THE CHILD’S ABILITY TO DISCERN SAFETY OR TRUST AND NAVIGATE POWER. SO THIS JUST REALLY ADDS — THINK ABOUT HOW THAT LAYER IS USED AS A FOUNDATION, THEN, FOR THAT CHILD TO GROW UP INTO ADULTHOOD ADULTHOOD AND HOW CONFUSING AND MURKY AND DIFFICULT IT’S GOING TO BE TO NAVIGATE ADULT RELATIONSHIPS WHEN CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE FROM SOMEONE WHO MORE THAN LIKELY IS SOMEONE THAT YOU TRUSTED OR DEPENDED UPON WHEN YOU WERE VULNERABLE AND A CHILD, THEN IS IMPACTING YOUR ADULT RELATIONSHIPS AND HOW YOU MOVE THROUGH THE WORLD AS AN ADULT.>>ONE IN FOUR GIRLS AND ONE IN SIX SOIS IS SEXUALLY ABUSED BEFORE THE AGE OF 18. THOSE ARE SOME EXTRAORDINARILY HIGH NUMBERS. 70-80 PERCENT OF SEXUAL VIOLENCE IS COMMITTED BY SOMEONE KNOWN TO OR TRUSTED
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BY THE SURVIVOR . SO REALLY, IF WE AREN’T SERVING ADULT SURVIVORS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE, IF WE ARE NOT STRUCTURING OUR SERVICES TO INVITE SURVIVORS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE IN, IF WE ARE NOT PROVIDING OUTREACH TO REACH ALL THE MEMBERS OF OUR COMMUNITY THAT ARE SURVIVORS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE, THE STATISTIC IS THAT WE ARE MISSING ABOUT 70 PERCENT OF THE SEXUAL ASSAULT SURVIVORS IN OUR COMMUNITY. SO MORE THAN HALF, OVERWHELMINGLY, MORE THAN HALF OF THOSE SURVIVORS IN OUR RURAL COMMUNITIES, WE ARE MISSING, IF WE ARE NOT THINKING ABOUT CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE AS WE ARE STRUCTURING OUR SERVICES, AS WE ARE PROVIDING OUTREACH, AS WE ARE DOING OUR PREVENTION EDUCATION, AS WE ARE THINKING ABOUT HOW WE ARE INVITING SURVIVORS IN, ADVERTISING FOR SERVICES, AND THINKING ABOUT THE KIND OF SERVICES THAT WE ARE OFFERING.>>CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE INCREASES THE
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RISK OF ADULTHOOD SEXUAL VIOLENCE AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. SO I THINK IT’S ALSO REALLY IMPORTANT FOR ALL OF US TO UNDERSTAND CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE AND HOW IT IMPACTS ADULTS, SO THAT WE CAN UNDERSTAND THE SURVIVORS THAT WALK IN OUR DOORS. SO IF SURVIVORS ARE COMING IN FOR SERVICES, THEY MIGHT NOT DISCLOSE A HISTORY OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE, BUT IT CAN STILL BE PLAYING A FACTOR IN THE SERVICES THAT WE ARE PROVIDING, IN THE WAY THAT SURVIVORS COMMUNICATE WITH US, IN THE NEEDS THAT THAT ADULT HAS. EVEN IF WE DON’T KNOW IT. EVEN IF THERE IS THIS UNDERLYING HISTORY OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE THAT HASN’T BEEN DISCLOSED TO US, WE KNOW BASED JUST ON STATISTICS THAT THIS CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE IS IMPACTING ALL OF THE SERVICES THAT WE PROVIDE IT TO OUR COMMUNITY . THE FACT IS THAT THE VAST MAJORITY OF CHILDREN ARE NEVER GOING TO TELL A SINGLE SOUL. PERPETRATORS WORK REALLY HARD TO ENSURE VICTIMS’ SILENCE AND SOCIETY DOES NOT ENCOURAGE DISCLOSURE OR DISCUSSION OF SEXUAL ABUSE.>>EXPERIENCING SEXUAL ABUSE BEFORE YOU EVEN WITH A — EVEN HAVE A CONCEPT OF WHAT IT IS OR A LANGUAGE FOR WHAT YOU’VE EXPERIENCED IS A HUGE BARRIER TO TALKING TO SOMEONE, ANYONE, ABOUT THESE EXPERIENCES.>>IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT THE CONCEPT OF SEXUAL VIOLENCE IS, OR IF YOU EXPERIENCED ABUSE EVEN BEFORE YOU HAD ANY LANGUAGE AT ALL, BEFORE YOU WERE PRE-VERBAL, LET ALONE LANGUAGE FOR SEXUAL VIOLENCE OR RAPE OR SEXUAL ABUSE OR JUST SOMEONE TOUCHED ME IN A WAY I DIDN’T LIKE, IF YOU’VE NEVER HEARD OF THAT CONCEPT BEFORE, HOW ARE YOU GOING TO EXPLAIN THAT TO YOUR FAMILY, OR A TEACHER, OR ANY KIND OF A TRUSTED ADULT, LET ALONE EVEN JUST A FRIEND? SEXUAL ABUSE IS SEEN AS SOMETHING THAT IS SHAMEFUL AND UGLY AND SOMETHING THAT OUR COMMUNITIES DON’T REALLY WANT US TO TALK ABOUT. SO EVEN IN THIS ERA OF ME TOO, THERE AREN’T VERY MANY SPACES WHERE YOU ARE ENCOURAGED OR INVITED TO DISCLOSE A HISTORY OF SEXUAL ABUSE. SO IT MAKES A LOT OF SENSE WHY SURVIVORS ARE GET WELL INTO ADULTHOOD BEFORE THIS IS SOMETHING THAT THEY ARE EVEN THINKING ABOUT TRYING TO GRAPPLE WITH. THERE ARE SO MANY REASONS THAT A SURVIVOR WOULDN’T TELL ANYONE, AND SOME OF OF THOSE REASONS CONTINUE INTO
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ADULTHOOD LONG PAST WHEN THE ABUSE HAS STOPPED. KIND OF LIKE TO THINK ABOUT IT LIKE THIS. WHEN THE VERY FIRST RAPE CRISIS CENTERS CAME INTO EXISTENCE, IN THE ’70S, MY GRANDMOTHER HAD ALREADY RAISE RAISED HER CHILDREN INTO ADULTS, BURIED A HUSBAND, RETIRED FROM HER CAREER, WAS WELL INTO HER LIFE, AND BY THE TIME WE FIRST PASSED THE VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN ACT, WHICH REALLY CREATED SORT OF THRIVING ANTISEXUAL — THIS THRIVING ANTISEXUAL VIAL LENS MOVEMENT WHICH WAS FOR THE FIRST TIME FEDERALLY FUNDED, MY GRANDMOTHER HAD ALREADY STARTED DATING AGAIN, COLLECTED A COUPLE OF GRANDCHILDREN, MY PARENTS HAD GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL AND GOTTEN JOBS AND GOTTEN MARRIED AND HAD STARTED A FAMILY, AND THROUGH ALL OF THAT, THERE WAS REALLY NO SUPPORT FOR SEXUAL VIOLENCE SURVIVOR, CERTAINLY NOWHERE NEAR THE LEVEL OF SUPPORT THAT SEXUAL VIOLENCE SURVIVORS CAN RECEIVE IN 2018. THERE WAS REALLY NO PUBLIC LANGUAGE FOR HOW TO TALK ABOUT SEXUAL VIOLENCE. I PERSONALLY DIDN’T RECEIVE ANY PREVENTION EDUCATION IN HIGH SCHOOL, AND I DIDN’T HAVE A SINGLE TEACHER OR MEMBER OF THE FACULTY OR IN MY LIFE TALK TO ME ABOUT SEXUAL VIOLENCE, BUT AT LEAST THERE WERE SOME CONVERSATIONS AMONG MY PEERS AND CERTAINLY AS I’VE GOTTEN OLDER, A LARGER PUBLIC CONVERSATION ABOUT SEXUAL VIOLENCE. BUT I’M NOT EVEN 30 YEARS OLD OLD. SO WHEN I LOOK AT MY FAMILY, AND PEOPLE THAT ARE EVEN JUST A TINY BIT OLDER THAN ME, THERE HAS BEEN REALLY FOR THE VAST MAJORITY OF ADULTS IN THE UNITED STATES NOT REALLY A LANGUAGE TO TALK ABOUT OR A SPACE TO SHARE SEXUAL VIOLENCE. SO IT MAKES A LOT OF SENSE WHY CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE SURVIVORS HAVEN’T SPOKEN ABOUT THE ABUSE THAT THEY ENDURED IN THEIR CHILDHOOD AND THAT THEY HAVE CONTINUED TO JUST MOVE ON WITH — ATTEMPT TO MOVE ON WITH THEIR LIVES AND GET OLDER, AND TO NOT SPEAK ABOUT THEIR SEXUAL VIOLENCE.>>WHEN WE THINK ABOUT SILENCE, HOW DOES THAT LOOK DIFFERENT FOR MEN AND BOYS? WE HAVE A COLLECTIVE VISION OF SEXUAL VIOLENCE IN THIS COUNTRY, AND IT RARELY INCLUDES BOYS AND MEN. HOW DOES THAT ERASE YOU’RE REALLY — ARASURE MAKE IT HARDER FOR MEN AND BOYS TO COME FORWARD, HOW WOULD HIDING A HISTORY OF SEXUAL ABUSE AS A CHILD
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AFFECT ADULT MEN AS THEY MOVE FORWARD IN THEIR LIFE? I JUST WANT TO US SORT OF OF THINK ABOUT THE WAY THAT SILENCE HAS IMPACTED CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE SURVIVORS AND HOW THEY MOVE FORWARD WITH THE REST OF THEIR LIVES . OF COURSE, THERE ARE CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE SURVIVORS THAT DO FIND REASONS TO TELL THAT, WANT TO COME FORWARD, THAT BREAK THE SILENCE AND ARE READY TO RECEIVE SERVICES AND SUPPORT AND HEALING. THERE’S A LOT OF DIFFERENT REASONS. FOR SOME SURVIVORS, IT MIGHT JUST BE THAT IT’S FINALLY SAFE TO TELL, THAT THEIR PERPETRATOR IS NO LONGER A PART OF THEIR LIFE, MAYBE THAT PERSON WAS A PARENT OR RELATIVE OR GRANDPARENT WHO IS NOW PASSED AWAY, OR FINALLY, THE SURVIVOR HAS MOVED AWAY FROM THE PERPETRATOR AND LIVES IN ANOTHER PART OF THE COUNTRY OR EVEN JUST ANOTHER PART OF THE STATE AND FINALLY FEELS ENOUGH DISTANCE WHERE IT FEELS SAFE TO TELL. OR MAYBE THEY FIND THE RIGHT SUPPORT THAT FEELS SAFE, MAYBE THEY FINALLY LEARN ABOUT CONFIDENTIAL RESOURCES AND CONFIDENTIAL SERVICES IN THEIR COMMUNITY AND SO THAT MAKES THEM FEEL SAFE. FOR SOME SURVIVOR, THEY FIRST ARE WILLING TO BREAK THEIR SILENCE AND TALK ABOUT THEIR ABUSE THAT THEY ENDURED BECAUSE ANOTHER SURVIVOR DISCLOSES TO THEM, ESPECIALLY THINKING ABOUT THE ME TOO MOVEMENT, HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE NOW HAVING CONVERSATIONS WITH THEIR FRIENDS AND THEIR FAMILY AND THEIR COMMUNITY AT LARGE ABOUT SEXUAL VIOLENCE, SUPPORTING ANOTHER SEXUAL VIOLENCE SURVIVOR HELPS SURVIVORS SOMETIMES BE ABLE TO FEEL LIKE THEY ARE ALLOWED TO HAVE THAT SUPPORT AS WELL. AND ANOTHER PERSON DISCLOSING SEXUAL VIOLENCE CAN LEAD TO A SURVIVOR FEELING LIKE THEY ARE READY TO SHARE FOR THEMSELVES.>>FOR SOME SURVIVOR, IT CAN BE TRIGGERS LIKE THE DEATH — IT MIGHT NOT BE THE DEATH OF THE PERPETRATOR, IT COULD BE DEATH OF A FAMILY MEMBER OR A PARENT OR SOMEONE WHO THE SURVIVOR DESPERATELY DIDN’T WANT TO LEARN ABOUT THE ABUSE. I WORKED WITH A LOT OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE SURVIVOR WHO IS REALLY DIDN’T WANT THEIR PARENTS SPECIFICALLY OR THEIR GRANDPARENTS OR JUST ONE SPECIFIC FAMILY MEMBER TO LEARN ABOUT THE ABUSE BECAUSE THEY JUST KNEW THAT IT WOULD BE HEARTBREAKING TO THAT PERSON.>>SO ONCE THAT PERSON PASSED, THEY SUDDENLY FELT LIKE OKAY, NOW IS MAYBE THE TIME FOR ME TO FIGURE THIS OUT, TO GRAPPLE WITH THIS, TO COME FORWARD, TO SPEAK TO MY LOVED ONES ABOUT THIS EXPERIENCE AND HOW IT’S IMPACTED ME. FOR OTHERS, IT COULD BE ANNIVERSARIES, MAYBE IT’S BEEN A DECADE SINCE THE ABUSE ENDED AND IT FINALLY FEELS LIKE ENOUGH TIME HAS PASSED. FOR OTHERS, IT’S THINGS LIKE PARENTHOOD AND SEEING THEIR OWN CHILDREN, THE AGES
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THEY WERE WHEN THEY EXPERIENCED SEXUAL ABUSE. I’VE WORKED WITH A LOT OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE SURVIVORS WHO HAVE SAID THAT IT REALLY TOOK SEEING THEIR OWN CHILDREN AT THAT SAME AGE TO REALIZE JUST HOW INNOCENT AND VULNERABLE THEY WERE WHEN THE ABUSE HAPPENED, AND FINALLY, THAT EXPERIENCE ALLOWED THEMSELVES TO FORGIVE THEMSELVES, THAT THEY HAD BEEN REALLY HOLDING THEMSELVES ACCOUNTABLE FOR THE ABUSE THAT HAPPENED WHEN THEY WERE YOUNGER, BUT BEING ABLE TO SEE CHILDREN THAT AGE AND CARING FOR CHILDREN THAT AGE MADE THEM REALIZE THAT THAT WAS JUST NOT TRUE, THAT THEY WEREN’T RESPONSIBLE FOR IT.
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FOR OTHER SURVIVORS, IT’S A LARGER CONVERSATION. LIKE I SAID BEFORE, THE ME TOO MOVEMENT HAS REALLY BECOME A COLLECTIVE CONVERSATION THAT MOST OF OUR COUNTRY IS WILLING TO HAVE PUBLICLY, AND IT’S
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INSPIRED A LOT OF SURVIVORS TO COME FORWARD. NOT JUST ON SOCIAL MEDIA, BUT ALSO, JUST TO SPEAK TO THEIR FAMILY AND THEIR FRIENDS AND THEIR PARTNERS AND THEIR LARGER COMMUNITY ABOUT THE ABUSE THAT THEY HAVE ENDURED, ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY ARE HEARING THEIR LARGER COMMUNITY, SELECTS, PEOPLE THEY RESPECT, FAMILY MEMBERS, LOVED ONES, CONDEMNING PERPETRATORS ANDLING SURVIVOR SURVIVORS HAS, I THINK, CREATED A LOT OF EMOTIONAL SAFETY FOR CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE SURVIVORS TO FEEL LIKE THEY ARE ALLOWED TO AND ABLE TO SHARE THEIR STORIES NOW.>>AND FOR OTHER SURVIVORS, IT JUST SIMPLY TOOK A PROGRAM IN THEIR AREA, ADVERTISING TO CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE SURVIVORS SPECIFICALLY TO CREATE MARKETING AND OUTREACH, A COMMUNITY PRESENTATION, SOME — A BOOTH AT A PUBLIC FAIR, AND SPECIFICALLY INVITING IN SURVIVORS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE THAT MADE SOMEONE FEEL, MADE SURVIVORS FEEL LIKE, OKAY, MAYBE THIS IS A SPACE THAT FEELS SAFE FOR ME. MAYBE THESE SERVICES ARE FOR ME, TOO . DO FOLKS WANT TO WRITE INTO THE CHAT BOX REASONS WHY ADULT CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE SURVIVORS HAVE COME FORWARD THROUGH YOUR PROGRAMS, IF YOU’RE WORKED WITH ADULT SURVIVORS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE, WHAT WAS IT THAT FIRST PROMPTED THEM TO BREAK THEIR SILENCE, MADE THEM FEEL SAFE OR SUPPORTED ENOUGH TO COME FORWARD AND SEEK SERVICE? FEEL FREE TO WRITE IN THE CHAT BOX.>> SO HANNAH WROTE FEAR OF PERP TRATION, WANTING TO HEAL SO THAT THEY DON’T — I’M ASSUMING YOU MEAN SO THIS THEY DON’T PERPETRATE THEMSELVES.>>SO WANTING TO BREAK THAT CYCLE OF VIOLENCE. DIANE SAID IT’S AFFECTING THEIR RELATIONSHIPS. YEAH, I’VE WORKED WITH A LOT OF SURVIVORS WHO IT’S JUST GOTTEN TO THAT POINT WHERE THEY ARE SORT OF EMOTIONALLY HIT ROCK BOTTOM, AND THEY NEED TO START TO HEAL, SO THEY ARE DESPERATELY GOOGLING ANY RESOURCES AVAILABLE TO THEM IN THEIR COMMUNITY.>>MAL SAYS THEY FELT SAFER BECAUSE LONG TIME HAS GONE BY BY.>>LINDA SAID SAFETY THROUGH MARRIAGE. THAT’S A VERY — THAT’S A COMMON ONE.>> NANCY SAID IT WASN’T SAFETY AS MUCH AS CONSEQUENCES. THEY WERE FACED WITH LOSING THEIR CHILDREN OR THEIR HOMES BECAUSE IT WAS AFFECTING EVERYTHING . ELIZABETH GAVE A GREAT ONE, IT CAME UP
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AFTER EXPERIENCES OF ADULT SEXUAL VIOLENCE. THAT IS A REALLY COMMON ONE, EXPERIENCING SEXUAL VIOLENCE IN ADULTHOOD, PROMPTING MEMORIES OF AND TIME TO FACE THE EXPERIENCES THAT THEY’VE HAD AS CHILDREN.>> SERUPA, WHEN THE SURVIVOR SEES THAT
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SOMEONE ELSE WAS ABUSED BY THE SAME ABUSER. THAT’S VERY COMMON. ESPECIALLY WHEN IT’S A FAMILY MEMBER.>>STACEY SAID BECAUSE IT IS SUSPECTED THEIR OWN CHILD MAY BE SEXUALLY ABUSED IT AFFECTS HER RELATIONSHIP WITH HER CHILDREN.>>LOTS OF OF GOOD ANSWERS. HONESTLY, THERE ARE SO MANY, I THINK I WILL PROBABLY KEEP THEM AND FORWARD IT, BUT FEEL FREE TO KEEP ADDING THEM IN THE CHAT BOX, BECAUSES THAT REALLY NEVER ENDING LIST OF REASONS.>>SO ON THE SCREEN, I HAVE A FEW OF THE LONG TERM CONSEQUENCES, SYMPTOMS, OF TRAUMA. SO SLEEP DISTURBANCES, CHANGE IN APPETITE, PAIN, FATIGUE OR TENSION, A LOT OF TIMES LIKE MIG RANS — MIGRAINES, HEALTH ISSUES, LOST OF TRUST AND SENSE OF CONTROL, ANGER OR DESIRE FOR REVENGE, A LOSS OF IDENTITY, DRUG AND ALCOHOL USE, OR RAMPING UP OF DRUG AND ALCOHOL USE, LOSS OF IMPORTANT BELIEF SYSTEMS, LIKE FAITH, DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS OR ATTEMPTS, TROUBLE CONCENTRATING OR FOCUSING, RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS, AND SELF-INJURY.>>SO THE OCCURRENCE AND THE SEVERITY OF EACH ONE OF THESE PROBLEMS OR CONSEQUENCES OR SYMPTOMS, WHATEVER YOU WOULD LIKE TO CALL, IT REALLY VARY FOR EACH SURVIVOR. SOME SHOW LITTLE EMOTIONAL DISTRESS IN CHILDHOOD OR ADULTHOOD, WHILE OTHERS STRUGGLE WITH EMOTIONAL, PHYSICAL AND SOCIAL PROBLEMS FOR YEARS AND DECADES. THE DIVERSITY IN OUTCOMES REALLY CAN JUST BE ATTRIBUTED TO CHARACTERISTICS OF THE VIOLENT ACTS, SO THE ABUSE ITSELF OR THE FREQUENCY ALSO ATTRIBUTES OF THE SURVIVOR’S PERSONALITY, JUST WHO THEY WERE GENETICALLY ALWAYS PREDETERMINED TO BE, THE AVAILABILITY OF SOCIAL SUPPORTS AND RESOURCES, SO HOW QUICKLY THEY FOUND THOSE SUPPORTS AND RESOURCES OR HOW ROBUST THOSE SUPPORTS AND RESOURCES WERE FOR THEM, AND THEN JUST ENVIRONMENTAL CONDITIONS, LIKE ARE THEY FROM A MARGINALIZED OR OPPRESSED COMMUNITY, WHAT ARE THEIR FAMILY DYNAMICS, ARE THEY LIVING IN POVERTY, ALL OF THOSE THINGS COMBINED SORT OF ADD UP TO THE SORT OF SEVERITY OF SYMPTOMS OF TRAUMA THAT THEY WILL EXPERIENCE LONG TERM. FOR SOME, YOU KNOW, IT’S REALLY THE PERFECT STORM THAT CAN REALLY ADD UP TO ADULTHOOD POVERTY, HOMELESSNESS,
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CHEMICAL DEPENDENCE, OR A PSYCHIATRIC DIAGNOSIS. SO I WANT US TO REALLY JUST KIND OF HAVE THIS IN MIND AS WE MOVE FORWARD, NOT JUST WITH THE WEBINAR, BUT WITH OUR SERVICES. BECAUSE I HEAR FROM A LOT OF ADVOCATES WHEN THEY ARE STRUGGLING AND FEELING FRUSTRATED WITH SURVIVORS BEING MAN LANE TIFF OR DRUG-ADDICTEDD OR STRUGGLING WITH CHRONIC HOMELESSNESS, AND IF WE ARE NOT REALLY PAYING ATTENTION AND TRYING TO SEE THE CONNECTION TO SEXUAL VIOLENCE, IT CAN FEEL PRETTY EASY WHEN YOU ARE BURNT OUT AND YOU’VE TALKED TO SO MANY DIFFERENT SURVIVORS THIS WEEK OR THIS MONTH AND IT CAN BE REALLY EASY TO NOT MAKE THE CONNECTION TO SEXUAL VIOLENCE AND TO WANT TO SHUNT THAT SURVIVOR OFF TO ANOTHER SERVICE PROVIDER OR COMMUNITY AGENCY, BUT WHEN YOU LOOK AT REALLY WHAT THE LONG-TERM CONSEQUENCES OF COMPLEX TRAUMA ARE, IT IS A LOT OF SURVIVORS THAT ADVOCATES FIND COMPLICATED TO WORK WITH OR STRUGGLE TO MEET THEIR FULL NEEDS. AND I HAVE ALWAYS FOUND THAT IT IS SO MUCH EASIER, AND I HAVE SO MUCH MORE PATIENCE WHEN WORKING WITH A SURVIVOR, WHEN I FOR MYSELF CAN MAKE THAT CONNECTION TO TRAUMA. IT’S JUST SO MUCH EASIER TO WORK WITH THAT PERSON AND TO HAVE PATIENCE AND FORGIVENESS AND ALLOW THEM THE SPACE TO BE WHO THEY WERE GOING TO BE AS A CONSEQUENCE OF THEIR TRAUMA AND TO HELP THEM MOVE FORWARD AND HEAL. SO I HOPE THAT WE CAN ALL SORT OF CARRY THIS WITH US, LIKE I SAID, NOT JUST THROUGH THE END OF THE WEBINAR, THINKING ABOUT THOSE KIND OF SURVIVORS, BUT ALSO JUST THE WORK THAT WE ARE DOING EVERY DAY AND THE SERVICES THAT WE ARE PROVIDING, THINKING ABOUT THE SURVIVORS THAT HAVE THE MOST COMPLEX TRAUMA, CARRYING THEM WITH US AS WE MOVE FORWARD . SO HOW, THEN, DO WE OPEN THE DOOR FOR
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ADULT SURVIVORS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE?>>HOW DO WE MAKE ADULT SURVIVORS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE FEEL SUPPORTED BY OUR SERVICES, FEEL LIKE OUR SERVICES ARE MADE WITH THEM IN MIND, AND HOW DO WE AS A COMMUNITY HELP MAKE SURVIVORS FEEL MORE SUPPORTED? I THINK IT REALLY STARTS WITH THE LANGUAGE THAT WE USE . SO TO PROVIDE COMFORT AND CONNECTION, IT IS JUST SO CRITICAL THAT SURVIVORS KNOW THAT OUR SERVICES ARE FOR THEM. AND A GREAT MANY OF OUR PROGRAMS HAVE THE WORD “CRISIS” IN THEIR NAME, AND I THINK THAT THAT DOES A DETERRENT TO ADULT CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE SURVIVORS. IT UNINTENTIONALLY — THE VERY FIRST AGENCY I EVER WORKED FOR WAS ACTUALLY CALLED ORI LE CRISIS CENTER. THEY ARE NO LONGER IN EXISTENCE, BUT I CAN TELL YOU THAT WHEN I WORKED THERE, WE ALMOST EXCLUSIVELY WORKED WITH SURVIVORS THAT HAD JUST IN THE LAST 3-7 DAYS BEEN SEXUALLY ASSAULTED, AND I THINK THAT HAD A LOT TO DO WITH THE WORD CRISIS IN OUR NAME, BECAUSE IT WASN’T JUST OUR NAME, BUT ALSO THE NAME OF OUR ORGANIZATION, OF COURSE, FILTERS DOWN TO EVERYTHING THAT WE DO. THE PERSPECTIVIVE THAT WE HAVE ON THE WORK, THE WORDS WE USE WHEN WE ANSWER THE CRISIS LINE, THE WORDS WE USE WHEN WE TALK TO OUR COMMUNITY ABOUT OUR SERVICES, WE SAY THE WORD CRISIS A LOT, JUST BY SAYING THE NAME OF OUR ORGANIZATION. SO IT REALLY HONED IN FOR OUR COMMUNITY THAT OUR SERVICES ARE FOR PEOPLE THAT ARE IN ACTIVE CRISIS RIGHT NOW, THAT HAVE JUST VERY RECENTLY EXPERIENCED VIOLENCE, AND SO FOR A LOT OF ADULT SURVIVORS, THAT JUST DOESN’T EQUAL THE EXPERIENCES THEY’VE HAD. IF THEY EXPERIENCED CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE 20 YEARS AGO AND THEIR PERPETRATOR HAS LONG PASSED A. LOT OF SURVIVORS FEEL LIKE I MIGHT BE IN EMOTIONAL CRISIS RIGHT NOW, I MIGHT REALLY BENEFIT FROM SERVICES, BUT I’M NOT IN CRISIS RIGHT NOW, NOT THE KIND OF CRISIS THAT YOU MEAN WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT
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SERVICES . OTHER PROGRAMS USE THE WORD WRAIP A LOT, WHICH I THINK IS ALSO COMPLICATED. WE HAVE A REALLY SPECIFIC IDEA OF WHAT THE WORD RAPE MEANS IN OUR COUNTRY, AND RAPE USUALLY MEANS PENETRATION OF A PENIS INTO A AVERAGINEA, AND THAT — VAGINA AND THAT LEAVES A LOT OF SURVIVOR OUT. OBVIOUSLY IT LEAVES OUT QUEER SURVIVORS OR SURVIVOR WHO IS EXPERIENCED ABUSE FROM SOMEONE OF THE SAME — THE PERPETRATOR WAS THE SAME SEX AS THEM. BUT IT ALSO LEAVES OUT SURVIVOR WHO IS EXPERIENCE NONPENETRATIVE SEXUAL VIOLENCE, AND THAT’S OFTEN WHAT’S HAPPENING IN CHILDHOOD OR DURING CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE. SO WHEN WE USE WORDS LIKE RAPE AND CRISIS, WHICH THE FIRST ORGANIZATION I EVER WORKED FOR USED BOTH WORDS, WHEN WE USE THOSE WORDS ACROSS THE FIELD TO DESCRIBE OUR AGENCIES AND THE SERVICES THAT WE PROIRKS I THINK WE ARE REALLY LEAVING OUT ADULT SURVIVORS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE. SO MY WHOLE CAREER, AND I ENCOURAGE ALL OF YOU, TO REALLY TRY TO FIND THE MOST INCLUSIVE WAYS TO TALK ABOUT SEXUAL VIOLENCE, NOT JUST TO YOUR COMMUNITY, BUT INSIDE YOUR OWN ORGANIZATION. BECAUSE HOW WE TALK ABOUT SERVICES INTERNALLY INFLUENCES HOW WE TALK ABOUT SERVICES EXTERNALLY.>>SO TRYING TO FIND THE MOST INCLUSIVE WAYS TO TALK ABOUT SEXUAL VIOLENCE, AND BEING REALLY SPECIFIC WHEN WE DEFINE SEXUAL VIOLENCE TO OUR COMMUNITY, THAT WE CAN’T JUST ASSUME WHEN WE GIVE A COMMUNITY PRESENTATION OR WE WRITE A BROCHURE OR WE HAVE A BOARD MEETING THAT EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN THE ROOM HAS A REALLY CLEAR UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT WE MEAN WHEN WE SAY RAPE OR SEXUAL ABUSE OR SEXUAL VIOLENCE, AND SO I WOULD REALLY LOVE TO SEE OUR RURAL PROGRAMS WERE CONSISTENTLY DEFINING THAT FOR OUR COMMUNITY, BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW WHO IS IN THAT ROOM AND WHAT THEIR EXPERIENCES HAVE BEEN, AND SO I THINK WE JUST HAVE TO BE REALLY INTENTIONAL ABOUT CONSISTENTLY DEFINING THAT LANGUAGE. JUST BECAUSE WE DID A SERIES OF MEETINGS LAST YEAR WHERE WE DEFINED IT DOESN’T MEAN THAT THERE AREN’T NEW PEOPLE IN OUR COMMUNITY THAT WEREN’T THERE FOR THOSE PRESENTATIONS OR HAVEN’T SEEN THOSE BROCHURE, SO I THINK WE HAVE TO CONSISTENTLY, CONTINUALLY KEEP DEFINING THE LANGUAGE THAT WE USE FOR OUR COMMUNITY COMMUNITY.>>WE HAVE TO ACTUALLY SPEAK WITH OUR COMMUNITIES ABOUT ADULT SURVIVORS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE OR ABOUT CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE AT ALL. IT’S ALREADY COMPLICATED ENOUGH, I THINK, FOR OUR COMMUNITIES TO HEAR US TALKING ABOUT SEXUAL ASSAULT OR SEXUAL VIOLENCE BECAUSE IT MEANS WE HAVE TO SAY THE WORD SEX, SO ALREADY, I THINK OUR COMMUNITIES ARE REALLY RESISTENT TO HEARING ABOUT THE WORK THAT WE DO AND HOW WE CAN HELP THEM. BUT WHEN YOU ADD ON THE LAYER OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE, IT MAKES SO MANY PEOPLE IN OUR COMMUNITY UNCOMFORTABLE AND SQUEAMISH AND WANT TO TURN AWAY. BUT I THINK WE HAVE TO FIND CREATIVE, INTERESTING, NEW WAYS OF CONTINUING TO SPEAK WITH OUR COMMUNITY ABOUT CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE, AND THAT WHEN WE DO TALK TO OUR COMMUNITIES ABOUT THE SERVICES THAT WE PROVIDE, THAT WE ARE ALWAYS INTENTIONALLY CLU INCLUDING ADULT SURVIVORS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE, BECAUSE LIKE I SAID, A LOT OF SURVIVOR, I’VE HEARD THIS JUST SO CONSISTENTLY FROM EF COMMUNITY I’VE WORKED IN, THAT ADULT SURVIVORS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL
710
14:33:42,000 –>14:33:41,999
ABUSE RARELY SEE OUR SERVICES AS FOR THEM. THE SERVICES THAT WE PROVIDE, THE WAY WE TALK ABOUT SERVICES JUST SO OFTEN ARE STRUCTURED FOR FOLKS THAT HAVE JUST RECENTLY BEEN ASSAULTED, SO WHEN WE ARE TALKING WITH OUR COMMUNITIES, BEING REALLY INTENTIONAL ABOUT INVITING IN ADULT SURVIVORS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE. ONE TWHAI WE DO THAT IS BY STRUCTURING OUR SERVICES TO MEET THE LONG AND SHORT TERM NEEDS OF SEXUAL ABUSE SURVIVORS. REALLY CREATING COMPREHENSIVE SEXUAL VIOLENCE SERVICES WHICH WILL MEET, LIKE I SAID, THE SHORT TERM NEEDS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT SURVIVORS, WHICH OFTEN MEANS EVIDENCE COLLECTION, PROSECUTION, LEGAL ACCOMPANIMENT, THINGS WITH A TIMETABLE, THINGS THAT WE DO AS SURVIVORS IMMEDIATELY AFTER OR REALLY SOON AFTER BEING ASSAULTED. BUT ALSO, MEETING THE LONG TERM NEEDS. SO THINKING ABOUT WHAT COMPREHENSIVE MEDICAL ADVOCACY LOOKS LIKE, THINKING ABOUT SUPPORT GROUPS, THINKING ABOUT INCORPORATING THE CONCEPT OF HEALING OUR BODIES AND OUR MINDS INTO OUR SERVICES AND NOT JUST THINKING ABOUT JUSTICE OR LEGAL ADVOCACY. AND I SWEAR FOR THE NEXT COUPLE OF SLIDES, WE ARE GOING TO GET REALLY IN DEPTH INTO WHAT THOSE LONG TERM SERVICES ACTUALLY LOOKS LIKE.>>– LOOK LIKE, SO JUST HOLD OFF ON ALL OF YOUR EXCITING QUESTIONS.>>SO THE LAST ONE IS REALLY JUST BREAKING THE TABOO, HAVE INFORMATION ABOUT CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE VEIL AND PROMINENTLY DISPLAYED AROUND YOUR PROGRAM AND AROUND YOUR COMMUNITY, IF THAT’S POSSIBLE. CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE IS COMMON EVEN IF THAT IS NOT THE INITIAL REASON FOR SEEKING SERVICES, SO BY PROMINENTLY DISPLAYING THE INFORMATION ABOUT CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE IN YOUR AGENCY, YOU ARE INVITING THE QUESTION. YOU ARE INVITING THE CONVERSATION. YOU ARE LETTING THE PEOPLE THAT WALK THROUGH YOUR DOOR KNOW THAT YOU ARE A SAFE PLACE, NOT JUST TO TALK ABOUT THE VIOLENCE THEY WALKED IN THE DOOR TO TALK ABOUT, BUT ALL THE VIOLENCE THAT THEY HAVE EXPERIENCED IN THEIR LIFETIME. BRING — INTENTIONALLY BRING UP CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE IN CONVERSATIONS WITH THE SURVIVORS THAT YOU ARE WORKING WITH. DURING THE INITIAL INTAKE PROCESS, BUT ALSO, AS YOU CONTINUE TO BUILD A RELATIONSHIP WITH THAT SURVIVOR, AND THEY KEEP COMING BACK. CONTINUE TO OPEN THAT CONVERSATION UP AND LET SURVIVORS KNOW THAT NOW AND IN THE FUTURE, YOU ARE ALWAYS WELCOMED TO HAVE THAT CONVERSATION, AND THAT THAT IS WHAT YOU ARE THERE FOR. YOUR OWN DISCOMFORT WITH THE TOPIC OR LACK OF ASKING OR LACK OF INITIATING THE CONVERSATION IS SOMETIMES THE REASON THE SURVIVOR DOESN’T BRING IT UP OR DOESN’T TELL. SO IF ANY OF US ON THE CALL ARE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH — AND I’M ASSUMING THERE ARE MANY OF US ON THIS WEBINAR THAT HAVE STRUGGLED WITH THIS. WHEN I TRAIN ACROSS THE COUNTRY, I WOULD SAY THAT TALKING ABOUT CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE IS THE NUMBER ONE THING THAT ADVOCATES TELL ME THEY ARE UNCOMFORTABLE TALKING ABOUT, PARTICULARLY FOLKS THAT HAVE CHILDREN THEMSELVES, I THINK REALLY, REALLY STRUGGLE WITH IT, BUT I THINK ANY OF US DO, ESPECIALLY IF WE HAVE PEOPLE THAT ARE UNDER THE AGE OF 18 THAT ARE IMPORTANT TO US IN OUR LIVES. I DON’T HAVE CHILDREN, BUT THERE ARE STILL CHILDREN IN MY LIFE THAT I CARE DEEPLY ABOUT, AND IT’S HARD NOT TO IMAGINE THEM WHEN WE TALK ABOUT CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE. BUT SURVIVORS CAN SEE IF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE. THEY CAN SEE IT ON YOUR BODY, THEY CAN SEE IT ON YOUR FACE, THEY CAN HEAR IT IN YOUR TONE OF VOICE. SO I THINK IT’S REALLY IMPORTANT TO TRY TO GET PAST THAT, TO BE HONEST AND OPEN WITH YOURSELF AND YOUR COWORKERS, AND PRACTICE WITH EACH OTHER, TALKING ABOUT IT. PRACTICE TALKING IN A MIRROR, OR ALL BY YOURSELF, WHEN YOU ARE ALONE IN YOUR CAR, JUST GETTING SOME OF THE WORDS OUT AND GETTING FAMILIAR WITH THE CONCEPT AND GETTING COMFORTABLE WITH IT.>>
818
14:38:13,000 –>14:38:12,999
A QUESTION ASKED, IN THE CHAT BOX FOR YOU –>>THANKS NORIEL.>>THE CENTER FOR RELATIONSHIPS ASKS YOU CAN POSSIBLY SEND US PAPERS ON ADULT SURVIVOR RESOURCES OR FACTS THAT WE CAN HANG UP IN OUR READING ROOM. I WILL ABSOLUTELY SEND YOU A PAPER THAT WE WROTE ON THIS TOPIC THAT THIS WEBINAR IS BASED ON. I WILL SEND EVERYONE ON THE WEBINAR A COPY OF THAT PAPER. I DON’T HAVE ANYTHING THAT YOU WILL JUST IMMEDIATELY BE ABLE TO PRINTOUT AND HANG UP ON YOUR WALL, BUT I THINK A LOT OF THE SLIDES FROM THIS PRESENTATION OR THE PAPER WILL HAVE A LOT OF COMPONENTS THAT YOU CAN FAIRLY EASILY CREATE YOUR OWN HANDOUTS TO HANG UP IN YOUR WAITING ROOMS, AND IF YOU DO DO THAT, IF ANYONE ON THE CALL DECIDES TO MAKE THOSE, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO E-MAIL THOSE TO ME AND I WILL DISTRIBUTE TO OTHER PEOPLE ON THE CALL.>> SO WE ARE GOING TO START THINKING ABOUT HOW WE CAN CREATE OUR SERVICES THAT WILL MEET THE NEEDS OF ADULT SURVIVORS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE. SO THE FIRST ONE I WANT TO GET TO IS REALLY JUST EMOTIONAL SUPPORT . EMOTIONAL SUPPORT IS REALLY KIND OF ONE OF THE MOST BASIC CONCEPTS OF ADVOCACY TO THE POINT THEY THINK SOMETIMES WE
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14:39:45,000 –>14:39:44,999
GLOSS OVER IT . BUT YOU KNOW, AS PART OF THE VIOLENCE, PERPETRATORS TEACH CHILDREN TO DISTRUST THEMSELVES AND OTHERS AND TO BLUR BOUNDARIES BETWEEN THEMSELVES AND OTHERS. PERPETRATORS TEACH CHILDREN TO SUPPRESS OR DENY THEIR OWN EMOTIONS AND TO MISTRUST ADULTS AND INSTITUTIONS. THAT IS JUST INHERENTLY WHAT HAPPENS WHEN CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE OCCURS SO. I THINK THAT EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ABSOLUTELY HAS TO BE THE FIRST THING THAT WE TALK ABOUT. PROGRAMS AND PROGRAM SUPPORT CAN REALLY HELP SURVIVORS RELEARN CRITICAL SKILLS OF SOCIAL INTERACTION AND OF TRUST IN ONE’S SELF, BY PROVIDING THAT UNCONDITIONAL SUPPORT, BELIEVING THEM, PROVIDING THAT VALIDATION, TALKING THROUGH EMOTIONS IS ONE MODALITY FOR ALLEVIATING AND RELEASING THE IMPACTS OF TRAUMA, BEING ABLE TO GIVE A NAIL AND WORDS TO FEELINGS WITHIN THE BODY IS OFTEN CATHARTIC AND THAT’S NOT ANYTHING PARTICULARLY SPECIAL, RIGHT, ANY ADVOCATE CAN DO THAT BUST — JUST BY HAVING A CONVERSATION WITH A SURVIVOR. PROVIDING A SAFE PLACE TO EXPLORE SCARY OR UNCOMFORTABLE EMOTIONS AND THOUGHTS. SO MANY ADULT SURVIVORS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE HAVE NOT HAD THAT SPACE. ANYWHERE IN THEIR LIFE, EVEN BY THEMSELVES INTERNALLY. TO REALLY BE ABLE TO UNPACK SOME OF THESE SCARY EMOTIONS AND TO REALLY THINK ABOUT THIS STUFF FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YEARS OR DECADES.>>WE OFTEN, I THINK, JUST REALLY FORGET HOW IMPORTANT THIS SERVICE IS, BUT IT’S REALLY THE FOUNDATION WHERE WE CAN BUILD ALL OF OUR OTHER SERVICES ON TOP OF. ADULT SURVIVORS REALLY CAN STRUGGLE WITH A GLOBAL SENSE OF INSECURITY BASED ON THE CONTINUED EFFECTS OF TRAUMA OR SIMPLY JUST NEVER HAVING LEARNED WHAT SAFETY FELT LIKE AS A CHILD. SURVIVORS STRUGGLE WITH UNEXPECTED, INTRUSIVE MEMORIES OR SENSATIONS OF VIOLENCE BROUGHT ON BY THEIR ENVIRONMENT. WE ALSO SOMETIMES CALL THOSE TRIGGERS. I THINK WE AS A COUNTRY, NOT AS A MOVEMENT, BUT AS A COUNTRY, I THINK WE REALLY THROW THE WORD TRIGGER AROUND FAIRLY LIGHTLY, SO I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT MAYBE ONE MORE TIME. SURVIVORS STRUGGLE WITH UNEXPECTED, INTRUSIVE MEMORIES OR SENSATIONS OF VIOLENCE BROUGHT ON BY THEIR ENVIRONMENT. SO THOSE ARE TRIGGERS. THAT FOR WHICH WE ARE PREPARED HOLDS LESS POWER THAN THAT WHICH SURPRISES US, WHICH REALLY JUST MEANS THAT COMING UP WITH COPING PLANS FOR SURVIVORS, WITH SURVIVORS, CAN HELP THEM MANAGE DISTRESS OR THEIR TRIGGERS IN THE MOMENT. SO WE CAN HELP SURVIVORS FIND WHICH PARTS ARE WITHIN THE SURVIVORS’ POWER TO BE ABLE TO WORK THROUGH, AND THEN WE CAN ROLE PLAY INTERACTIONS AND CREATE A LIST OF COPING TECHNIQUES LIKE BREATHING OR CALLING THE HELP LINE WHEN YOU ARE REALLY STRUGGLING AND REALLY SUPPORTING SOME COPING PLANS FOR SURVIVORS IN THE MOMENT.>>ONCE AGAIN, THAT IS JUST SO SIMPLE, AND THAT’S JUST HAVING CONVERSATIONS WITH SURVIVORS. THAT IS NOT ANYTHING FANCY, THAT DOESN’T COST MONEY, THAT’S SOMETHING THAT EVERY SINGLE ADVOCATE AND EVERY SINGLE PROGRAM ACROSS THE COUNTRY HAS THE ABILITY TO DO AND FRANKLY HAS THE SKILL SET TO DO. THAT IS WHAT ADVOCATES DO EVERY DAY.>>ADULT SURVIVORS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE HAVE YEARS OF TRAINING IN SILENCE AND OBEDIENCE. SO MANY SURVIVORS FIND IT DIFFICULT TO EXPRESS THEIR WISHES AS ADULTS, EVEN WITH SAFE AND SUPPORTIVE PEOPLE AROUND THEM. SO WHAT WE CAN DO, ALSO, IS REALLY JUST TO HELP SURVIVORS RECLAIM THEIR VOICES, BY TEACHING TOOLS FOR COMMUNICATION AND THEN PRACTICING HAVING DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS. SO LET’S JUST SAY A SURVIVOR OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE THAT YOU ARE WORKING WITH IS REALLY AFRAID TO TALK TO THEIR GYNECOLOGIST ABOUT HOW DIFFICULT THEY FIND ANNUAL EXAMS. THAT IS INCREDIBLY COMMON EXPERIENCE FOR
955
14:44:26,000 –>14:44:25,999
ADULT SURVIVORS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE. LET’S BE REELING,O REAL, GOING TO THE GYNECOLOGIST FEELS INVASIVE, WHETHER YOU’RE A SURVIVOR OR NOT, SOIS EASY TO SEE THE CONNECTION WHERE BEING A SURVIVOR WOULD ADD ANOTHER LAYER OF DISCOMFORT AND CONFUSION AND VIOLENCE TO THE EXPERIENCE. SO THE SURVIVOR THAT YOU ARE WORKING WITH IS STRUGGLING WITH GOING TO THE GYNECOLOGIST, AND THEY FREEZE UP, AND THEY STRUGGLE TO TELL THE GYNECOLOGIST WHEN THEY ARE FEELING SCAID, WHEN MOMENT FEELS OVERWHELMING, AND THEY DON’T HAVE WORDS IN THE MOMENT. AND SO THEY JUST LET THE INTERACTION KEEP HAPPENING, AND IT’S RETRAUMATIZING
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14:45:11,000 –>14:45:10,999
THEM AND IT’S FEELING LIKE VIOLENCE ALL OVER AGAIN. AND FOR A LOT OF SURVIVORS OF SEXUAL ABUSE, THAT MEANS THAT THEY JUST DON’T SEEK SUPPORT OR MEDICAL SERVICES FOR A REALLY LONG TIME, WHICH ADDS INTO THE LONG TERM HEALTH CONSEQUENCES THAT STEM FROM SEXUAL ABUSE. SO AS ADVOCATES, WHAT WE CAN DO IS WE CAN HELP THE SURVIVOR WRAI SCRIPT OR WRITE A NOTE OR A LETTER TO GIVE TO DRT, WE CAN ROLE PLAY WHAT THAT EXPERIENCE FEELS LIKE BY TALKING IT THROUGH AND PRACTICING HAVING THAT VOICE. A LOT OF SURVIVORS COME UP WITH — BECAUSE THEY FIND IT DIFFICULT TO USE THEIR VOICE IN THE MOMENT, LIKE A HAND SIGNAL WHEN THEY ARE HAVING A DOCTOR’SIST VISIT, SO LETTING THE DOCTOR KNOW THAT I REALLY STRUGGLE TO BE ABLE TO VERBALLY TELL WHEN YOU I’M STRUGGLING IN THE MIDDLE OF AN EXAM, SO I’M GOING
995
14:46:16,000 –>14:46:15,999
TO HOLD THIS OBJECT IN MY HAND, AND WHEN I DROP T. IT MEANS I NEED TO YOU STOP, I NEED YOU TO TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF ME AND BACK UP AND I NEED A MOMENT. SO THERE’S JUST SOME REALLY SIMPLE THINGS THAT WE CAN DO WITH SURVIVORS TO HELP THEM STRATEGIZE COMMUNICATIONS. THE LAST THING THAT I WILL JUST GET TO UNDER EMOTIONAL SUPPORT IS THAT NORMALIZING FEELINGS OF FEAR AND STRESS. SO I THINK THE OTHER THING THAT WE CAN REALLY DO IS HELP SURVIVORS UNDERSTAND THAT IT’S JUST FEARFUL AND STRESSFUL AND SCARY TO BE A HUMAN. SO IF YOU ARE STRUGGLING WITH SOMETHING,
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14:46:53,000 –>14:46:52,999
IT’S NOT ALWAYS BECAUSE OF YOUR SEXUAL ABUSE. IT MIGHT REALLY HAVE — YOUR SEXUAL ABUSE MIGHT HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT, BUT FOR EXAMPLE, A LOT OF SURVIVORS REALLY STRUGGLE WITH GOING TO THE DENTIST AND SEEKING DENTAL CARE. BUT FEAR OF THE DENTIST IS LIKE THE NUMBER TWO FEAR IN THE WHOLE COUNTRY. SO LIKE YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS, SURVIVOR, YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN BEING SCARED OF GOING TO THE DENTIST, THAT IT IS FAIRLY NORMAL TO FEEL FEAR — FEEL FEAR OR STRESS GOING TO THE DENTIST, WHICH I THINK CAN EASE SOME SURVIVORS TO FEEL LIKE THEY ARE NOT ALONE, BUT ALSO HELPS US STRATEGIZE THE FACT THAT IF YOU DON’T WANT TO DISCLOSE YOUR STATUS AS A SURVIVOR WHEN YOU GO TO THE DENTIST, YOU PROBABLY WON’T HAVE TO, IF YOU JUST SAY I’M SCARED OF THE DENTIST, YOUR DENTIST WILL PROBABLY JUST LISTEN TO THAT. YOU DON’T ARE TO GIVE HIM MORE THOROUGH EXPLANATION OR REASON. FRANKLY, DENTISTS ARE PRETTY USED TO
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PEOPLE BEING SCARED OF THEM AT THIS POINT. SO I — SO JUST SORT OF THINKING ABOUT HOW WE CAN NORMALIZE THE EXPERIENCES THAT THEY ARE HAVING AND STRATEGIZE WITH THEM, TO HELP THEM WITH WAYS TO MOVE FORWARD.>>THERE’S ANOTHER QUESTION IN THE CHAT BOX THAT IS RELATED TO THE EMOTIONAL SUPPORT QUESTION.
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IT’S KIND OF A LONG MULTI-PART QUESTION.>>OKAY.>>BUT SUMMARIZING IT, IT LOOKS LIKE PART OF THE QUESTION IS WHEN PEOPLE COME IN FOR DV SERVICES OR OTHER CRISIS SERVICE, IF THEY’VE BEEN A VICTIM OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE, BOTH HOW DO YOU TALK ABOUT THAT, AND WHAT DO YOU DO WITH PEOPLE WHO DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT? WHO KIND OF SEE THERE’S NO CONNECTION BETWEEN THEIR CURRENT EXPERIENCE AND THEIR PAST EXPERIENCE, THEY GAVE AN EXAMPLE OF SAYING I’VE HEARD FROM SOME THAT IT IS IN THE PAST, NO REASON TO DIG IT UP NOW, AND THEN THERE’S A FOLLOWUP QUESTION OF WHAT PERCENTAGE OF SURVEYORS DO YOU THINK ARE IN A HEALED PLACE
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14:48:57,000 –>14:48:56,999
VERSUS THOSE WHO ARE STILL IN STRUGGLE MODE. THERE’S A LOT OF QUESTIONS THERE.>> SO FOR A SURVIVOR THAT IS COMING IN, LET’S SAY, FOR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SERVICES OR EVEN SEXUAL ASSAULT SERVICES THAT WERE RECENT, BUT HAVE A HISTORY OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE, I MEAN, WE LET THE SURVIVOR DICTATE WHAT THEY WANT TO TALK ABOUT. SO IF THEY DISCLOSE BUT THEN SAY I DON’T REALLY WANT TO DIG UP THAT, WE RESPECT THAT. ABSOLUTELY.>>FOR SOME SURVIVORS, THAT IS TOTALLY WHAT THEY WANT TO DO AND THAT IS SO FINE. I THINK THAT FOR ME, UNLESS THEY’VE MADE IT INCREDIBLY CLEAR THAT THEY WOULD LIKE TO YOU NEVER BRING IT UP AGAIN, IN WHICH CASE, PLEASE RESPECT THAT, I WOULD JUST SAY THAT EVERY NOW AND THEN, WHEN YOU MEET WITH THEM, TO JUST MAKE SURE YOU SAY SOMETHING AT THE BEGINNING OR END OF AN APPOINTMENT, I JUST WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT WE HAVE TALKED IN THE PAST ABOUT YOUR EXPERIENCES WITH CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE AND I JUST WANT TO REITERATE ONE MORE TIME THAT I’M AVAILABLE TO TALK ABOUT THAT, THAT’S PART OF MY JOB AND IF NOW OR IN THE FUTURE YOU DECIDE IT IS SOMETHING THAT YOU WANT TO EXPLORE AND TALK ABOUT, I’M HERE. I MEAN, YOU DON’T HAVE TO HAVE THEM RESPOND. THAT CAN JUST BE SOMETHING THAT YOU LAY OUT EVERY NOW AND THEN. JUST TO LET THEM KNOW. BECAUSE SOME SURVIVORS WE WORK WITH, WE’RE GOING TO WORK WITH THEM FOR A NUMBER OF YEARS, AND THEIR RELATION TO THEIR TRAUMA CAN TOTALLY CHANGE, SO JUST MAKING SURE THAT THE SURVIVORS KNOW THAT WE ARE HERE FOR THEM NOW UNTIL FOREVER. LIKE YOU CAN COME BACK WHENEVER YOU WANT
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AND SEEK THOSE SERVICES . I PROBABLY HAVE AN INCREDIBLY LONG ANSWER TO THE QUESTION OF HOW MANY SURVIVORS WOULD YOU SAY ARE IN A HEALED PLACE VERSUS THOSE THAT ARE IN STRUGGLE MODE. WE DON’T HAVE TIME FOR MY LONG ANSWER. BUT MY SHORT ANSWER IS I DON’T REALLY KNOW IF ANYONE IS EVER REALLY HEALED. CERTAINLY THERE ARE SURVIVORS OUT THERE THAT WOULD USE THAT VERBIAGE FOR THEMSELVES, COOL, GREAT, HAPPY FOR THEM, BUT I THINK FOR THE VAST MAJORITY OF SURVIVORS, IT’S JUST ALWAYS A JOURNEY THAT WE ARE ON AND NAVIGATING. SO LIKE I SAID, FOR LOTS OF SURVIVORS, WHAT WE GOT TO DO IS LET THEM KNOW THAT EVEN THOUGH MAYBE THEY FEEL HEALED RIGHT NOW, AND THEY ARE FEELING GOOD, THAT IN A MONTH OR A YEAR OR IN 10 YEARS, THAT MIGHT CHANGE AND SOMETHING ELSE WILL GET
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BROUGHT UP FOR THEM THAT THEY WANT TO WORK THROUGH. AND SO JUST LETTING THEM KNOW WE ARE ALWAYS HERE I THINK IS REALLY IMPORTANT.>>OKAY.>>GREAT QUESTIONS. WISH WE COULD HAVE SPENT AN ENTIRE WEBINAR ON THEM, BUT I HAVE SO MUCH ELSE TO SAY TO YOU GUYS. SO I THINKING ABOUT, ONCE AGAIN, THINKING ABOUT OUR SERVICES AND HOW WE CAN SUPPORT THEM TO BE INCLUSIVE OF ADULT SURVIVORS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE, I WANT US TO THINK ABOUT HOLISTIC SERVICES. EMOTION AND MEMORY LIVE IN THE BODY AS WELL AS THE BRAIN BRAIN. AND SO A LOT OF WHAT WE SPENT TIME TALKING ABOUT IN THIS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT HAD TO REALLY DO WITH COGNITIVE SUPPORT, CONVERSATIONS BACK AND FORTH WITH ANOTHER PERSON. BUT FOR A LOT OF SURVIVORS, AND PARTICULARLY FOR, A LOT OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE SURVIVORS, AND FOLKS THAT EXPERIENCE THEIR ABUSE BEFORE THEY REALLY HAD LANGUAGE FOR IT, THE HOLISTIC SERVICES THAT ALSO SORT OF INCORPORATE THE BODY AS WELL AS THE BRAIN HAVE BEEN INCREDIBLY NOURISHING AND HEALING AND HELPFUL. SO OVERARCHINGLY, I’M BASICALLY JUST CALLING HOLISTIC SERVICES, SERVICES THAT HELP SURVIVORS REALLY RECONNECT WITH THEIR BODY AND FIND STRENGTH AND POSITIVITY IN THEIR BODY AND NOURISH THEIR BODY.>>SO THINKING ABOUT ALL THESE DIFFERENT KINDS OF SERVICES THAT WE CAN DO, EITHER AS INDIVIDUALS, SORT OF ONE ON ONE SERVICES THAT WE CAN PROVIDE TO SURVIVORS, OR THINKING ABOUT THEM IN THE CONTEXT OF SUPPORT GROUPS. SO THINKING ABOUT ANIMAL THERAPY, SO BEING ABLE TO TOUCH ANIMALS, TO PET ANIMAL, TO PET HORSES, I KNOW A LOT OF THE RURAL PROGRAMS JUST BY THE NATURE OF THEM BEING RURAL PROGRAMS HAVE ACCESS TO EQUINE THERAPY SERVICES OR EVEN JUST LOCAL HORSE FARMS THAT HAVE REALLY SWEET, NICE HORSES THAT SURVIVORS CAN COME RIDE OR TAKE CARE OF OR PET. SOME PROGRAMS I’VE WORKED WITH HAVE BROUGHT ANIMALS FROM THE LOCAL ARL TO COME IN FOR SUPPORT GROUP, AND SO SURVIVORS ARE ABLE TO, LIKE, PET THE ANIMALS AND PLAY WITH THE KITTIES AND PUPPIES WHILE THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING THAT’S REALLY HARD, AND THERE’S SOMETHING THAT CAN FEEL SO, I THINK, HEALING AND NICE ABOUT GETTING TO ENGAGE YOUR BODY WHILE YOU ARE — AND FEELING THAT SORT OF LIKE SAFE TOUCH, YOU ARE NOT TOUCHING ANOTHER PERSON, YOU ARE TOUCHING A CUTE LITTLE BUNNY WHILE TALKING ABOUT YOUR EXPERIENCES OR TRAUMA AND HOW YOU ARE MOVING THROUGH YOUR WORLD. IT’S ALSO WHY I THINK A LOT OF SURVIVORS GET THEIR OWN ANIMALS AND FIND HEALING IN TAKING CARE OF ANOTHER LIVING THING. PLANT THERAPY IS BEING ABLE TO, LIKE, DIG IN THE DIRT AND THERE ARE SOME PROGRAMS THAT HAVE STARTED LIKE COMMUNITY — LIKE VEGETABLE GARDENS OR ROSE GARDENS AND SURVIVORS GETTING TO GROW SOMETHING, NOURISH IT, TAKE CARE OF IT, AND THINK ABOUT THEMSELVES LIKE THAT, BEING ABLE TO TAKE CARE OF AND NOURISH THEMSELVES THE WAY THEY TAKE CARE OF AND NOURISH A PLANT, AND THAT TACTILE SENSATION OF REALLY LIKE GETTING YOUR HANDS IN THE DIRT. LOTS OF ARTS AND CRAFTS PROJECTS, I THINK OUR MOVEMENT — WE ARE IN LOVE WITH ARTS AND CRAFTS PROJECTS, SO I THINK YOUR PROGRAMS ALREADY KNOW ALL ABOUT THAT, DANCE AND MOVEMENT AND EXERCISE. SO YOGA, ZUMBA, LOTS OF PROGRAMS DOING MOVEMENT-BASED WORK, AND ONCE AGAIN, THERE DOESN’T HAVE TO BE A COGNITIVE COMPONENT. IT CAN JUST BE LEADING TO YOG YOGA CLASS OR LEADING A ZUMBA CLASS AND JUST GETTING TO BE IN A SAFE SPACE POSSIBLY WITH OUR SURVIVES — SURVIVORS OR ONE ON ONE, FEEL A PURPOSE FOR YOUR BODY THAT ISN’T SEXUAL. SO MANY CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE SURVIVORS GREW UP KNOWING THEIR BODY ONLY AS A SEXUAL OBJECT, AN INSTRUMENT SOMEONE ELSE WANTED TO TAKE FROM THEM. SO GETTING TO THINK ABOUT THEIR BODY IN A NEW WAY, AND AS THEIR OWN, I THINK, IS REALLY HEALING. MINDFULNESS PRACTICES OR MEDITATION, WE HAVE ACTUALLY SEEN ON BRAIN SCANS THAT IT HEALS OUR BRAIN, TO BE ABLE TO DO MEDITATION AND MINDFUL MINDFULNESS PRACTICES. SOME SURVIVORS HAVE UTILIZED MUSIC THERAPY. THERE WAS A SURVIVOR WHO I GOT TO MEET IN NEW YORK WHO USED THE MUSIC OF LINCOLN PARK TO REALLY ENGAGE WITH THE ANGER SHE FELT INSIDE ABOUT HER CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE, AND THAT WAS
1249
14:56:47,000 –>14:56:46,999
REALLY HEALING FOR HER . NUTRITION CLASSES, THERE HAVE AN FEW PROGRAMS THAT I’VE TALKED TO THAT ARE DOING THINGS WITH LOCAL NUTRITIONISTS AND TEACHING LIKE COOKING CLASSES, BECAUSE THERE’S SO MUCH SENSORY EXPERIENCES IN SOMETHING LIKE A COOKING CLASS, YOU ARE GETTING TO BE TACTILE AND TOUCH THE FOOD THAT YOU ARE MAKING, GET YOUR HANDS IN THE DOUGH, BUT ALSO, SMELL THE HERBS AND THE SPICES AND THE ONIONS AND GETTING TO TASTE AFTERWARDS AND HOW BONDING IT CAN FEEL AS A COMMUNITY TO SIT DOWN AND EAT, LITERALLY BREAK BREAD WITH OUR SURVIVORS AND COMMUNITY MEMBERS. AND THEN JOURNALING. AND JUST THINKING ABOUT, LIKE, NOURISHING YOUR BODY AND TAKING CARE OF YOUR BODY I THINK IS REALLY HELPFUL. AND THEN JUST JOURNALING OR GETTING TO WRITE ABOUT YOUR EXPERIENCES, WRITING POETRY, GETTING TO SOMETHING ABOUT THE PHYSICAL CONNECTION BY HAND-WRITING SOMETHING, JUST LIKE THE TACTILE EXPERIENCE CAN JUST FEEL LIKE A DIFFERENT WAY TO PROCESS THE EMOTION THAN SPEAKING ABOUT IT OUT LOUD. AND I’VE WORKED WITH SOME ADULT SIR VIVES — SURVIVORS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE WHO REALLY STRUGGLED TO BE ABLE TO SAY THE WORDS OUT LOUD, AND SO THE WAY IN WAS TO START WRITING ABOUT IT. AND SEEING THE WORDS ON PAPER. AND THEN THE NEXT STEP WE TOOK WAS TALKING ABOUT THEM OUT LOUD. SO JUST TRYING TO THINK ABOUT THE DIFFERENT WAYS FOR SURVIVORS AND SORT OF WHO YOU ARE WORKING WITH IN FRONT OF YOU . THINKING ABOUT SUPPORT GROUPS AND PEER SUPPORT, A LOT OF THE THINGS WE’VE JUST TALKED ABOUT, I THINK, CAN REALLY GET WRAPPED UP IN SUPPORT GROUPS QUITE EASILY, SO I WILL GO FAIRLY QUICKLY ON THIS SLIDE, BUT I JUST WANT TO KIND OF SHOUT OUT SUPPORT GROUPS, BECAUSE IT’S SOMETHING THAT I THINK THAT RURAL PROGRAMS IN PARTICULAR SORT OF STRUGGLE TO HAVE THE CAPACITY TO DO, BUT I JUST WANT TO MAKE THE CASE THAT SUPPORT GROUPS ARE SUCH A UNIQUE FORM OF HEALING, TO HAVE THAT PEER-LEVEL SUPPORT. AND SO OFTEN, I THINK SURVIVE SURVIVES — SURVIVORS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE FEEL SUPPORTED AND SAFE IN SPACES WHERE THEY CAN TALK WITH OTHER SURVIVORS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE AND — YEAH, I DON’T KNOW HOW ELSE TO SAY THAT, OTHER THAN THERE’S SUCH A UNIQUE FORM OF HEAL THANK HAPPENS WHEN I’VE GOTTEN TO BE THE WITNESS TO THESE CONVERSATIONS, THIS
1312
14:59:27,000 –>14:59:26,999
CONNECTION WITH EACH OTHER . IT’S JUST DIFFERENT THAN INDIVIDUAL COUNSELING OR ADVOCACY APPOINTMENTS CAN DO IN TERMS OF JUST THE LEVEL OF NORMALIZATION AND JUST REDUCING ISOLATION THAT CAN OCCUR IN THOSE GROUPS. SOCIAL ACTIVISM OR VOLUNTEERING, I THINK, ARE ALSO OTHER FORMS OF SORT OF THAT PEER-LEVEL SUPPORT, GETTING TO PARTICIPATE IN THINGS LIKE TAKE BACK THE NIGHT OR OTHER FORMS OF ACTIVISM, SPEAKING WITH THE LEGISLATURE, THINGS LIKE THAT ARE REALLY WAYS THAT SURVIVORS CAN CONNECT WITH OTHER SURVIVORS AND FEEL SUPPORTED AND FEEL PART OF THIS, LIKE, LARGER MOVEMENT THAT WE HAVE . COMPREHENSIVE MEDICAL ADVOCACY, I FEEL PARTICULARLY PASSIONATE ABOUT, BUT I’M GOING TO REIGN IT IN BECAUSE THERE’S SO MUCH TO SAY TO YOU GUYS. AVOIDANCE OF ROUTINE HEALTH CARE IS COMMON. FRANKLY, IT’S COMMON FOR ALL OF US.
1338
15:00:32,000 –>15:00:31,999
WE ARE ALL SORT OF BAD AT TAKING CARE OF OURSELVES. BUT IN PARTICULAR, FOR SURVIVORS, THAT ROUTINE HEALTH CARE OF OF DENTISTRY, GYNECOLOGICAL APPOINTMENTS, EVEN JUST GOING TO SEE A GENERAL PRACTITIONER, GOING TO THE EYE DOCTOR, REALLY BASIC FORMS OF PREVENTATIVE HEALTH CARE GET AVOIDED BECAUSE MEDICAL SETTINGS ARE JUST SO RIPE WITH THE POSSIBILITY OF TRIGGERS. WE KNOW, YOU KNOW, AS PROGRAM STAFF QUITE WELL, I THINK, WHAT TO DO AT THIS POINT WHEN MEETING SURVIVORS IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM OR HOW TO TALK TO SURVIVORS ABOUT REPORTING TO THE POLICE OR HAVING EVIDENCE COLLECTED IN THE AFTERMATH OF A CRISIS, BUT I THINK WE REALLY STRUGGLE WITH WHAT TO DO PAST THAT POINT. REALLY PAST THE POINT OF EVIDENCE COLLECTION. WHAT KINDS OF MEDICAL ADVOCACY DO WE PROVIDE TO OUR COMMUNITY. CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE CAN RESULT IN REALLY PROFOUND LONG TERM HEALTH ISSUES AND INFLUENCE CURRENT ENCOUNTERS THAT SURVIVORS ARE HAVING WITH THEIR HEALTH CARE PROVIDERS, SOMETIMES WITHOUT THE AWARENESS OF ONE OR BOTH OF THOSE PEOPLE. SO OFTEN, IT IS WITHOUT THE AWARENESS OF THE HEALTH CARE PROVIDER KNOWING THAT THE PERSON THAT THEY ARE SERVING IS A SURVIVOR BUT A LOT OF TIMES EVEN SURVIVORS THAT I HAVE WORKED WITH HAVE STRUGGLED FOR THEMSELVES TO MAKE THE CONNECTION BETWEEN THEIR SURVIVORSHIP AND WHY THEY ARE STRUGGLING WITH SEEKING MEDICAL SERVICES, AND I WILL JUST SAY THAT FOR THE SURVIVORS THAT I’VE WORKED WITH WHERE I’VE BEEN ABLE TO HELP FACILITATE THAT CONNECTION FOR THEM, JUST HAVING THAT CONNECTION HAS BEEN INCREDIBLY POWERFUL. JUST FOR THEM TO BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND THEIR HESITANCY ANXIETY AROUND SEEKING MEDICAL SERVICES AS PART OF OR IN RESPONSE TO THEIR SURVIVORSHIP HAS FELT REALLY EMPOWERING TO THEM TO SORT OF CLIP A NAME TO IT AND HAS HELPED THEM
1388
15:02:40,000 –>15:02:39,999
FIGURE OUT HOW TO NAVIGATE IT ON THEIR OWN. OBVIOUSLY, I’VE OFFERED MY OWN SUPPORT AND WE CAN AND I WILL KEEP TALKING ABOUT THE WAYS THAT WE DO THAT, BUT FOR SOME SURVIVORS, THAT’S REALLY ALL THAT IS EVEN NEEDED. LIKE I SAID, PARTICULARLY I WOULD SAY DENTISTRY AND GYNECOLOGY IS THE MOST DIFFICULT EXPERIENCES CONSISTENTLY FOR THOSE THAT I’VE WORKED WITH, BUT, YOU KNOW, THERE’S A LOT OF LONG TERM EFFECTS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE INCLUDE CHRONIC HEALTH CONCERNS, LIKE MIGRAINES OR FIBROMYALGIA, A LOT OF GASTROINTESTINAL DISORDERS, PAIN, ANYWHERE THAT THEIR BODY, SOMATIC COMPLAINTS, ALL OF WHICH CAN SORT OF — AT LEAST IN PART BE ADDRESSED BY OUR ADVOCACY. SO FIRSTLY SAY THAT REALLY A LACK OF INSURANCE, HEALTH INSURANCE IN RURAL AREAS, AND ALSO, A LACK OF SPECIALIZED LOCATIONS FOR HEALTH CARE CAN ALSO REALLY HINDER SURVIVORS’ ABILITIES TO RECEIVE PREVENTATIVE OR INTERVENTION-BASED HEALTH CARE, SO I THINK A GOOD PLACE TO START IS JUST TO THINK ABOUT HOW WE CAN HELP CONNECT SURVIVORS TO SPECIALIZED TRAUMA-INFORMED HEALTH CARE SERVICE, SO BEING AWARE OF WHAT SERVICES EXIST IN OUR COMMUNITY, EDUCATING THE MEDICAL PROVIDERS IN OUR COMMUNITY ABOUT SURVIVORSHIP, ABOUT CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE, ABOUT HOW TO CREATE FACILITIES AND FORMS AND PERSONAL INTERACTIONS THAT FEEL LESS TRIGGERING TO SURVIVORS, AND THEN ALSO, THAT WE HAVE TO CONNECT SURVIVORS TO HEALTH INSURANCE, THAT THAT IS PART OF THE WORK THAT WE SHOULD BE DOING IS FINDING WAYS FOR SURVIVORS TO GET THAT COMPREHENSIVE TRAUMA-INFORMED MEDICAL SERVICES AND TO BE ABLE TO BE INSURED TO RECEIVE THAT.>>COMMON GOALS FOR SURVIVORS THAT I’VE WORKED WITH HAVE BEEN REALLY JUST TO FEEL SAFE IN THE EXPERIENCE THAT THEY ARE HAVING AT THEIR HEALTH CARE CLINIC, TO HAVE ACCESS TO INFORMATION ABOUT THEIR HEALTH CARE SERVICES. LIKE I SAID BEFORE, THAT FOR A LOT OF SURVIVORS, SILENCE FEELS LIKE THE DEFAULT, AND SO IN A LOT OF THESE SETTINGS, THE SURVIVORS I’VE WORKED WITH AND JUST CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE SURVIVORS IN GENERAL, I THINK, STRUGGLE TO ADVOCATE FOR THEMSELVES IN MEDICAL SETTINGS, AND SO OFTEN, THAT IS WHAT IS NECESSARY TO GET GOOD MEDICAL SERVICES ANYWHERE IN OUR COUNTRY. TO BE ABLE TO ADVOCATE FOR YOURSELF, TO BE ABLE TO TAKE NOTES ON THE APPOINTMENTS THAT YOU’VE JUST HAD, TO UNDERSTAND THE MEETINGS THAT YOU’VE JUST HAD WITH DOCTORS AND WHAT YOUR FUTURE VISITS MIGHT LOOK LIKE. SO REALLY, A COMMON GOAL IS JUST TO HAVE ACCESS TO THAT INFORMATION AND TO BE ABLE TO RETAIN IT AND TAKE IT IN. SO FOR SOME SURVIVORS THAT MEANS ASKING THE DOCTOR’S OFFICE TO WRITE DOWN NOTES IN ADVANCE OF YOUR APPOINTMENT, OR TO WRITE DOWN NOTES AFTER YOUR APPOINTMENT, AND SEND THEM TO YOU. ANOTHER GOAL FOR A SURVIVOR IS TO WORK REALLY IN PARTNERSHIP WITH THEIR HEALTH CARE PROVIDER AND TO WORK WITH HEALTH CARE PROVIDERS THAT UNDERSTAND SEXUAL VIOLENCE AND TRAUMA SO WE CAN DO SOME OF THAT. ADVOCATE — ADVOCATES ARE FANTASTIC AT BREAKING DOWN COMPLICATED INFORMATION INTO MANAGEABLE PIECES AND HELPING SURVIVORS NAVIGATE EMOTIONALLY CHARGED SITUATIONS WHILE BEING RESPECTFUL AND PROTECTING SURVIVORS’ CHOICES. AND THAT IS WHAT WE CAN DO WHEN WE THINK ABOUT COMPREHENSIVE MEDICAL ADVOCACY. THAT WE ARE ABLE TO BRAINSTORM WITH SURVIVORS TO HELP THEM NAVIGATE HOW BEST TO HAVE THE MEDICAL SERVICES THAT THEY ARE LOOKING FOR, THAT THEY NEED, THAT THEY WANT TO HAVE. SO BEING ABLE TO HAVE THOSE CONVERSATIONS WITH SURVIVORS, BREAK DOWN THEIR CHOICES FOR THEM, HELP THEM NAVIGATE THOSE THINGS, PROVIDE THE TRANSPORTATION TO GET TO THOSE SERVICES, ACCOMPANYING SURVIVORS IT TO THOSE SERVICES, I’VE BEEN WITH SURVIVORS WHILE THEY GO TO THE FIRST DENTIST APPOINTMENT THAT THEY’VE HAD IN SIX YEARS, BECAUSE THEY HAVE BEEN TOO AFRAID TO GO TO THE DENTIST BECAUSE IT FEELS TRIGGERING AND SCARE YES, AND I’VE SAT THERE WITH THEM AND HELD THEIR HAND, JUST LIKE I WOULD ACCOMPANY A SURVIVOR TO HAVE EVIDENCE COLLECTED AT THE HOSPITAL OR ACCOMPANY A SURVIVOR TO SPEAK WITH LAW ENFORCEMENT. THAT’S THE KIND OF THING I’M TALKING ABOUT, WHEN WE TALK ABOUT SORT OF BROADENING MEDICAL ADVOCACY, WHEN WE THINK ABOUT COMPREHENSIVE MEDICAL ADVOCACY, THAT SURVIVORS DON’T JUST NEED ACCOMPANIMENT AND SUPPORT AND ADVOCACY WHEN IT COMES TO HEALTH CARE DECISIONS AND MEDICAL SITUATIONS IMMEDIATELY UPON CRISIS OR IMMEDIATELY UPON — AFTER EXPERIENCING SEXUAL VIOLENCE, BUT YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS AFTERWARDS, THERE ARE STILL PHYSICAL COMP — COMPLICATIONS DUE TO SEXUAL VIOLENCE, OR THAT WE CAN CONNECT TO SEXUAL VIOLENCE, AND WE SHOULD SUPPORT SURVIVORS IN SEEKING THOSE SERVICES AND RECEIVING THAT ADVOCACY YEARS AND DECADES AFTER THE SEXUAL VIOLENCE, JUST LIKE IN THE DAYS AND WEEKS FOLLOWING. WE ALSO CAN HELP SURVIVORS PREPARE FOR POSSIBLE NEGATIVE RESPONSES FROM HEALTH CARE PROVIDERS BECAUSE REALLY, THE REALITY IS THAT IN OUR RURAL COMMUNITIES WE OFTEN DON’T HAVE A LARGE AMOUNT OF CHOICE IN WHO WE SEE AS A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER, AND SOMETIMES, IF THERE ARE ONLY ONE OR TWO PROVIDERS IN OUR COMMUNITY AND THEY AREN’T INTERESTED IN OUR EDUCATION, THAT UNFORTUNATELY FOR SURVIVORS THEY MIGHT HAVE TO GO SEE MEDICAL PROVIDERS THAT DON’T FEEL SUPPORTIVE TO THEM. SO, YOU KNOW, MANY WELL-MEANING PROFESSIONALS DON’T UNDERSTAND TRAUMA, AND SO WE CAN HELP SURVIVORS PREPARE FOR UNSUPPORTIVE OR UNHELPFUL RESPONSES FROM MEDICAL PROVIDERS, WE CAN HELP SURVIVORS PUT TOGETHER INFORMATION TO GIVE TO THEIR DOCTOR AND TO BRAINSTORM LISTS OF QUESTIONS BEFORE THE EXAM HAPPENS, WE CAN — ON TOP OF THE EXPERIENCES THAT WE KNOW SURVIVORS HAVE SOMETIMES IN MEDICAL SITUATIONS DUE TO RACISM AND HOMOPHOBIA AND CLASSISM AND ABLEISM AND SEXISM WITHIN INSTITUTION, THAT SURVIVORS THAT WE ARE WORKING WITH ARE EXPERIENCING THOSE FORMS OF OPPRESSION, AND THAT MIGHT BE PARTIALLY WHY THEY ARE NOT SEEKING MEDICAL SERVICES, IN ADDITION TO THEIR SURVIVORSHIP. SO WE CAN HELP PREPARE THEM FOR THOSE KIND OF EXPERIENCES, WE CAN OFFER OURSELVES TO ACCOMPANY THEM, WE CAN OFFER OUR HELP LINE TO SURVIVORS WHEN WE KNOW THAT — LET’S SAY YOU ARE WORKING WITH A SURVIVOR WHO YOU KNOW IS GOING TO GO TO THE GYNECOLOGIST THE FIRST TIME SINCE THEIR ASSAULT, AND THEY ARE REALLY WORRIED THAT THEIR GYNECOLOGIST ISN’T GOING TO BE HELPFUL OR KIND, AND THEY DON’T WANT ANYONE TO ACCOMPANY THEM, BUT WHAT YOU CAN DO IS OFFER THE HELP LINE AND SAY, YOU KNOW, IF YOU WANT TO CALL THE HELP LINE RIGHT BEFORE YOU GO INTO YOUR APPOINTMENT, AND THE PERSON THAT IS ANSWERING THE HELP LINE THAT DAY CAN GIVE YOU SOME WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT, IF YOU WANT TO CALL THE HELP LINE RIGHT AFTER YOUR APPOINTMENT, AND JUST TALK THROUGH AND PROCESS WHAT THE EXPERIENCE WAS THAT DAY, GOOD OR BAD, OR SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE, IF YOU JUST WANT TO PROCESS, IF YOU WANT TO SEEK SUPPORT, IF YOU JUST WANT TO CRY AND HAVE SOMEONE BE THERE FOR YOU AFTER THAT EXPERIENCE, THAT IS ALSO WHAT OUR HELP LINE IS FOR. IT’S NOT JUST FOR RIGHT AFTER YOU’VE BEEN SEXUALLY ASSAULTED. IT IS A HELP LINE AVAILABLE TO ALL SURVIVORS, 24 HOURS A DAY.>>SO THERE ARE SO MANY DIFFERENT THINGS. I COULD DO A WHOLE WEBINAR ON COMPREHENSIVE MEDICAL ADVOCACY, AND I THINK WE HAVE IN THE PAST. THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS TO DO FOR SURVIVES WHEN WE THINKING ABOUT COMPREHENSIVE MEDICAL ADVOCACY BUT I JUST WANT TO ENCOURAGE YOU TO SORT OF THINK PAST THE WEEKS AND MONTHS AFTER AN ASSAULT AND INSTEAD, START TO THINK ABOUT THE YEARS AND DECADES AFTER AN ASSAULT, AND HOW WE CAN START HELPING SURVIVORS.>>OKAY, CONTINUING OUR JOURNEY OF THINKING ABOUT HOW WE CAN CREATE SERVICES FOR ADULT SURVIVORS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE, THINKING ABOUT LEGAL ADVOCACY, OR JUST SORT OF THIS OVERARCHING CONCEPT OF SURVIVORS WANTING TO SEEK JUSTICE, WE CAN TRAIN OUR LAW ENFORCEMENT TO BE AS TRAUMA- TRAUMA-INFORMED AS WE POSSIBLY K. BUT UNFORTUNATELY, THE REALITY IS THAT MANY ADULT SUR RIFE — SURVIVORS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE ARE NOT INTERESTED IN GOING TO LAW ENFORCEMENT AND MANY SURVIVORS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE AREN’T ELIGIBLE FOR CRIMINAL OR CIVIL PROCEEDINGS THAT IN A LOT OF STATES AND COMMUNITY, THERE IS A STATUTE OF LIMITATIONS FOR COMING FORWARD, AND THAT UNFORTUNATELY FOR A LOT OF SURVIVORS, WHEN THEY FINALLY FEEL R THE EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL SAFETY ENOUGH TO COME FORWARD THAT, THAT STATUTE OF LIMITATIONS MAY IN FACT ALREADY BE UP.>>SO I THINK WE HAVE TO JUST THINK ABOUT JUSTICE AS MUCH LARGER THAN JUST THE COURTHOUSE, SONGING ABOUT SORT OF NONTRADITIONAL FORMS OF SEEKING JUSTICE. SO MANY SURVIVORS FIND THEIR OWN JUSTICE BY PARTICIPATING IN ACTIVISM AND PARTICIPATING IN THINGS LIKE TAKE BACK THE NIGHT, OR THE CLOTHES LINE PROJECT, MEDIA EDUCATION, OR JUST ANY OTHER FORM OF LOCAL OR NATIONAL ACTIVISM, EVEN ON SOCIAL MEDIA. SOME SURVIVORS FIND JUSTICE BY INTERVENING IN FAMILY DYNAMICS, FOR EXAMPLE, TELLING THE ABUSER’S SPOUSE ABOUT THE ABUSE, OR LIMITING THE ABUSER’S INTERACTIONS WITH OTHER CHILDREN IN THE FAMILY. OBVIOUSLY, IF IT IS SAFE TO DO SO. AND NOT IN EVERY CASE, IS IT.>>SOME SURVIVORS FIND JUSTICE BY INTERVENING IN FAMILY DYNAMICS BY JUST SIMPLY REMOVING THEMSELVES FROM HARMFUL FAMILY DYNAMICS, AND FROM THE FAMILY ITSELF. THAT CAN, FOR THEMSELVES, FEEL LIKE JUSTICE. FEEL LIKE A STEP TOWARDS HEALING.>>OTHER SURVIVORS FIND JUSTICE THROUGH THEIR FAITH AND THROUGH FORGIVENESS. SOME SURVIVORS FIND JUSTICE IN COLLABORATING WITH CENTERS AND PROGRAMS AND COALITIONS, TO CHANGE STATE LAWS ON BEHALF OF OTHER SURVIVORS. STILL OTHERS FIND JUSTICE IN REPORTING THE CRIME TO THE POLICE, EVEN WHILE KNOWING THERE WILL BE NO PROSECUTION. ADULT SURVIVORS MAY, LIKE WE’VE TALKED ABOUT BEFORE, REALLY STRUGGLE WITH THAT GLOBAL SENSE OF INSECURITY BASED ON THE CONTINUING EFFECTS OF TRAUMA AND SIMPLY JUST NEVER HAVING LEARNED WHAT SAFETY FEELS LIKE AS A CHILD. SO ADVOCATES CAN TRAIN COMMUNITY PARTNERS LIKE LAW ENFORCEMENT TO RECOGNIZE AND RESPOND TO THEIR REAL SAFETY CONCERNS OF ADULT SURVIVORS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE.>>AND TO SUPPORT CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE SURVIVORS, IN MAKING THOSE REPORTS.>>WE ALSO, MUCH LIKE MEDICAL PROVIDERS, CAN HELP SURVIVORS PREPARE FOR POSSIBLE NEGATIVE RESPONSES FROM LAW ENFORCEMENT. MANY WELL-MEANING PROFESSIONALS JUST SIMPLY DON’T UNDERSTAND TRAUMA AND SO WE CAN HELP SURVIVORS PREPARE FOR THOSE UNSUPPORTIVE, UNHELPFUL RESPONSES. WE CAN HELP SURVIVORS PUT TOGETHER INFORMATION TO GIVE TO LAW ENFORCEMENT OR TO BRAINSTORM LISTS OF QUESTIONS TO ASK LAW ENFORCEMENT ABOUT THEIR LEGAL RIGHTS ON TOP OF, ONCE AGAIN, THE RACISM, HOMOPHOBIA, CLASSISM, ABLEISM, SEXISM, THAT THEY MAY EXPERIENCE JUST SIMPLY BY GOING TO LAW ENFORCEMENT. SO WE CAN HELP PREPARE THEM FOR THEIR EXPERIENCES, WE CAN ROLE PLAY THOSE EXPERIENCE, WE CAN BRAINSTORM WAYS THAT THEY CAN SEEK JUSTICE OR LEGAL ADVOCACY, EVEN THOUGH THEY MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO PRESS CHARGES. AND WE CAN ALSO JUST SIMPLY ACCOMPANY THEM TO SPEAK WITH LAW ENFORCEMENT OR ACCOMPANY THEM TO — AND HELP SIT WITH THEM WHILE THEY NAVIGATE, TRYING TO
1688
15:16:34,000 –>15:16:33,999
FIGURE OUT WHAT JUSTICE WOULD FEEL LIKE FOR THEM. EVERY SURVIVOR I HAVE EVER WORKED WITH HAS A COMPLETELY SEPARATE IDEA OF WHAT JUSTICE WILL FEEL LIKE AND WHAT HEALING WILL FEEL LIKE, AND SO MUCH OF WHAT WE CAN DO FOR ADULT SURVIVORS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE IS TO JUST BE THERE WITH THEM WHILE THEY NAVIGATE IT AND FIGURE IT OUT AND ASK QUESTIONS AND GIVE OPTIONS . THIS IS THE LAST THING I JUST WANT TO SAY BEFORE WE WILL HAVE ABOUT 10 MINUTES TO TAKE SOME QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS. BUT ADVOCATES REALLY, YOU KNOW, OFTEN REPORT THAT THE MORE AMBIGUOUS OR COMPLEX ADVOCACY IS, THE HARDER IT IS TO KNOW IF THEY ARE DOING THEIR JOBS WELL. AND I DON’T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT FOR ME, I HAVE TO FEEL LIKE I’M DOING MY JOB WELL TO FEEL IMPORTANT, TO FEEL ENOUGH STRENGTH IN MYSELF TO WANT TO KEEP DOING THIS JOB, TO TRY TO ALLEVIATE VIE CARRIOUS TRAUMA, ALL IS WRAPPED UP IN FEELING GOOD IN MY JOB, SO THIS AMBIGUOUSNESS, THIS COMPLEXNESS THAT SOMETIMES COMES WITH SERVING SURVIVORS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE CAN REALLY UNDERMINE OUR SELF-CONFIDENCE AS ADVOCATES TO KNOW THAT WE ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING, COUPLED WITH, YOU KNOW, JUST THE DIFFICULT SUBJECT MATTER THAT IS ADULT ADULTHOOD CHILDHOOD SEXUAL AUSE ABOOS — BUSE T. INCREASE OURS RISK FOR VICARIOUS TRAUMA. WE ALSO KNOW THAT SOME OF THE COPING SKILLS AND SOCIAL SKILLS THAT SURVIVORS HAVE EMBRACED FOR PRESERVATION, AND ARE REACTION — OUR REACTIONS TO THOSE SKILLS CAN IMPEDE OUR HELPING RELATIONSHIPS AND JUST INCREASE THE STRESS THAT WE FEEL AS ADVOCATES.>>THAT SOMETIMES WORKING WITH SURVIVORS THAT HAVE CHRONIC HOMELESSNESS, THAT HAVE POOR COMMUNICATION SKILLS BECAUSE THEY WEREN’T TAUGHT GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS GROWING UP, THIS ADDS TO THE COMPLEXNESS OF OUR JOB AND IF WE CAN’T SORT OF HOLD THAT TRAUMA WITH US AND TO RECOGNIZE THIS AS WE WALK THROUGH EVERY EXPERIENCE WE HAVE WITH THAT PERSON, IT CAN FEEL REALLY HARD NOT TO START TO FEEL FRUSTRATED AND RESENT THE PERSON SITTING IN FRONT OF US AND NO ONE ON THIS CALL, I KNOW, WANTS TO FEEL THAT WAY. SO LIKE I SAID, FOR MANY SURVIVORS, REALLY, THEY STRUGGLE TO ASK FOR WHAT THEY NEED OR WHAT THEY WANT DIRECT ELECTION AND THAT’S JUST REALLY HARD TO DEAL WITH AS AN ADVOCATE, WHEN THE PERSON IN FRONT OF YOU ISN’T EVEN SURE WHAT THEY THEMSELVES WANT OUT OF WALKING IN YOUR DOOR. THAT CAN FEEL CONFUSING. SO I HOPE THAT ALL OF YOU HAVE AGENCIES THAT ARE CREATING ORGANIZATIONAL SUPPORTS FOR YOURSELF-CARE, THAT YOU ARE GETTING PAID A LIVING WAGE, THAT YOU ARE GIVEN ADEQUATE VACATION AND SICK TIME TO TAKE OFF WORK, THAT YOU ARE ENCOURAGED TO TAKE THAT SICK TIME OFF WHEN YOU ARE SICK, THAT YOU HAVE ADEQUATE HEALTH INSURANCE PROVIDED TO YOU BY YOUR ORGANIZATION, THAT YOU HAVE SUPERVISORS THAT REGULARLY SUPERVISE YOU, CHECK IN WITH YOU, CARE ABOUT YOU, AND ARE WORKING WITH YOU TO HAVE — HOPEFULLY HAVE THE HEALTHIEST POSSIBLE WORK
1768
15:20:04,000 –>15:20:03,999
ENVIRONMENT AROUND YOU . BECAUSE HAPPY AND HEALTHY ADVOCATES ARE SIMPLY BETTER ABLE TO SERVE SURVIVORS AND TO SEE THEM AS WHOLE PEOPLE AND TO WALK WITH SURVIVORS EVERY DAY.>>SO I HOPE THAT YOU TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOURSELVES, AND THAT YOUR AGENCIES SUPPORT YOU IN TAKING CARE OF YOURSELVES, SO THAT WE DON’T BECOME ANGRY OR FRUSTRATED WITH SURVIVORS.>>WE’VE COME TO THE QUESTION PORTION OF TODAY’S WEBINAR.>>IF THERE ARE QUESTIONS THAT YOU HAD THAT YOU WEREN’T ABLE TO THROW OUT DURING THE WEBINAR OR THAT ARE COMING TO YOU NOW THAT WE’VE MOSTLY MISSED , WE WILL ADD THEM IN THE CHAT BOX NOW. SOMEONE ASKED I MISSED THE FIRST HALF THE TRAINING BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS BEGINNING AT 1:00. THAT’S OKAY.
1790
15:20:59,000 –>15:20:58,999
WILL THE RECORDING BE AVAILABLE. YES, IT WILL. WE ARE GOING TO GET THAT RECORDING AT THE END OF TODAY, AND WE WILL PROBABLY PUT IT ON OUR WEBSITE SOMETIME IN THE NEXT MONTH.>>IN ADDITION, EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE THE SLIDES FROM TODAY’S WEBINAR, AND I WILL ALSO — I WILL SEND OUT THE SLIDES ONE MORE TIME, AND I WILL ALSO SEND OUT THAT PAPER THAT THE WEBINAR WAS BASED ON ON.>>ANY OTHER QUESTIONS FOLKS HAVE?>> NORIEL, YOU’RE SO GOOD AT YOUR JOB, NORIEL PUT IN THE CHAT BOX, A LINK TO OUR RECORDED PAST WEBINARS AND RSB RESOURCES.>> LINDA ASKS WHAT WOULD LAW ENFORCEMENT TRAINING LOOK LIKE? AND I THINK THAT THAT IS JUST SUCH A LARGER QUESTION THAT LINDA, MAYBE YOU AND I CAN HAVE A ONE ON ONE CONVERSATION ABOUT THAT . BUT I THINK IN SHORT, WHAT LAW ENFORCEMENT TRAINING LOOKS LIKE IS TO REALLY MAKE SURE THAT LAW ENFORCEMENT IS ACTUALLY UP TO DATE AND KNOWLEDGABLE ABOUT THE LAWS THAT ARE IN PLACE FOR SURVIVORS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE AND MAKE SURE THAT THEY ARE WELL-VERSED IN THE SPECIFIC LAWS OF THAT STATE OR TERRITORY OR COMMUNITY ABOUT THE STATUTE OF LIMITATIONS, WHERE YOU CAN — IN WHAT CONTEXT YOU CAN MOVE FORWARD. BECAUSE UNFORTUNATELY, I HAVE WORKED
1827
15:22:52,000 –>15:22:51,999
WITH A LOT OF LAW ENFORCEMENT THAT REALLY ISN’T AS KNOWLEDGABLE ABOUT THE LAW AS YOU WOULD THINK, AND THAT IS WORKING ON SOME ASSUMPTIONS THAT JUST AREN’T TRUE AT THIS POINT. SO I THINK FOR A LOT OF LAW ENFORCEMENT, THEY SEE THE COMPLICATIONS TO THEIR JOB WHEN THE ASSAULT HAS TAKEN SO LONG AGO, THAT THEY JUST SORT OF ASSUME THAT YOU ARE JUST NOT ABLE TO MOVE FORWARD.>>I THINK WE’VE GOT JUST START WITH THE BASICS OF REALLY WHAT IS THE LAW AROUND THAT . TERESA ASKS HOW CAN WE PRACTICE ENCOURAGING SURVIVORS TO COMMUNICATE THEIR WANTS AND NEEDS?>>WELL, I THINK THAT IT’S DIFFERENT FOR EVERY SURVIVOR, BUT I THINK YOU ACTUALLY PRACTICE WITH THEM. SO TRYING TO ROLE PLAY SCENARIOS WHERE THEY MIGHT NEED TO COMMUNICATE THEIR WANTS AND NEEDING — NEEDS, HAVING THEM KEEP A JOURNAL, A LIST, BECAUSE SO MANY SURVIVORS, I THINK, DON’T REALLY REALIZE THAT THEY WANTED TO COMMUNICATE SOMETHING UNTIL THE MOMENT HAS ALREADY PASSED, RIGHT, SO BEING ABLE TO KEEP A LIST OR A JOURNAL, FOR THEM TO WRITE THAT DOWN WHEN THEY REALIZE, OH NO, I JUST LEFT THAT INTERACTION WITH MY PARTNER BUT I REALLY WISH I COULD HAVE COMMUNICATED THIS. SO BEING ABLE TO WRITE IT DOWN WILL I THINK HOPEFULLY HELP THEM SLOWLY, OVER TIME, REALIZE IN THE MOMENT WHEN THEY WANT TO — WHEN THEY ACTUALLY WANT TO LIST THEIR NEEDS. IN SOME SITUATIONS THEY WILL BE ABLE TO TAKE THAT LIST AND GO BACK TO THAT PERSON AND CLARIFY SOME THINGS, IF THAT’S A MEDICAL PROVIDER, THAT MIGHT BE SOMETHING THEY ARE ABLE TO COMMUNICATE IN THEIR NEXT VISIT. ALSO, OTHER FOLKS, FEEL FREE TO PUT IN THE CHAT BOX, IF YOU HAVE A GOOD ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION. BUT HONESTLY, THERE’S JUST SORT OF OF A NEVER ENDING LIST OF POSSIBLE THINGS
1876
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THAT YOU COULD DO AS SURVIVORS — WITH SURVIVORS. IF YOU, TERESA, WOULD LIKE TO HAVE MORE ONE ON ONE CONVERSATION ABOUT THAT, I’M SO HAPPY TO SCHEDULE THAT, WE COULD HAVE A CALL WHERE WE BRAINSTORM TOGETHER DIFFERENT WAYS.>>JUST LOOKING FOR OTHER QUESTIONS.>>NANCY SAYS THIS ISN’T A QUESTION BUT A RESOURCE, A GOOD READ, IT’S A BOOK CALLED THE DEEPEST WELL, HEALING THE LONG TERM EFFECTS OF CHILDHOOD
1888
15:25:20,000 –>15:25:19,999
ADVERSITY. BY DR. NAD EEN BERG HARRIS. SO EVERYBODY CHECK THAT OUT.>>BRANDY ASKS ANY TIPS SPECIFICALLY FOR FAITH-BASED SETTINGS GIVEN THE PREVALENCE OF CHILLEDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE IN CHURCHES?>>AND BRANDY, WHAT I’M GOING TO DO IS RECOMMEND THAT YOU CONNECT WITH ANOTHER RURAL T.A. PROVIDER WHOSE WHOLE SPECIALTY IS TALKING WITH FAITH COMMUNITIES ABOUT SEXUAL ABUSE. THEY ARE CALLED SAFE HAVENS. AND THEY ARID UP BY REVEREND ANN MARIE HUNTER. AGAIN, PUT THE CONTACT INFORMATION FOR ANN MARIE IN THE FOLLOW-UP E-MAIL OF RESOURCES I SENT YOU GUYS, BECAUSE I PROBABLY HAVE SOME THINGS THAT I COULD SAY, BUT OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD, I DON’T HAVE ANYTHING REALLY SPECIFIC, BUT THAT IS WHAT ANN MARIE’S WHOLE PROJECT IS ALL ABOUT, SO I’M CERTAIN SHE WILL HAVE SOME GREAT THINGS TO SAY.>> CANDACE ASKS ANY ADVICE ON HOW WE GET A SUPPORT GROUP STARTED? WE ARE A SMALL AGENCY AND IT SEEMS LIKE A LOT TO TAKE ON, BUT WE DEFINITELY FEEL IT WOULD BE EXTREMELY BENEFICIAL FOR YOUR CLIENTS. CANDICE, HAVE I GOT THE RESOURCE FOR YOU. SUPPORT GROUPS IS JUST ONE OF MY PASSIONS. SO WE’VE DONE A COUPLE OF RECORDED WEBINARS ON THE TOPIC, AND I HAVE A COUPLE OF RESOURCES THAT I CAN SEND YOU. SO I’M GOING TO TAKE NOTE THAT YOU ASKED THAT QUESTION, AND I’M GOING TO SEND YOU A FOLLOW-UP E-MAIL WITH SOME RESOURCES FOR CREATING YOUR OWN SUPPORT GROUP, AND ALSO, I’M SO HAPPY TO SET ALL CALL WITH YOU IF YOU WANT TO TALK THROUGH THE SPECIFICS OF YOUR PROGRAM.>> ARUTHA, JUST HAIRING, IT MAY BE POSSIBLE IN YOUR STATE TO HAVE A CRIMINAL CHARGE IF THE CHILD, SEXUAL ABUSE SURVIVOR
1938
15:27:19,000 –>15:27:18,999
WANT, I’M WORKING WITH THE D. E. ON A CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE AT THE WORKPLACE, SHE WAS 16, BECAUSE THE PERSON IS DOING THIS WITH YOUNG EMPLOYEES, THE CASE IS MOVING FORWARD. A GOOD EXAMPLE OF HOW IF YOU DON’T HAVE LAW ENFORCEMENT THAT IS WELL-VERSED, HAS A GOOD CONNECTION WITH THE D.A. , IS OPEN TO SORT OF DOING THIS EXTRA WORK, THAT IS COULD HAVE BEEN REALLY EASY TO JUST SORT OF SAY SORRY, THERE’S NOT MUCH WE CAN DO, SO I’M REALLY GLAD, IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU HAVE A GREAT TEAM AROUND YOU, HELPING.>> IT SEEMS LIKE A LOT OF PEOPLE WANT THE SUPPORT GROUP INFO!>> COOL, GUYS.>>ALSO,IS JUST GOING TO CALL YOUR ATTENTION TO, I THINK NANCY HAD A QUESTION EARLIER, A FOLLOW-UP QUESTION TO LAW ENFORCEMENT, ASKING ABOUT ANY RESOURCES OF WORKING WITH A. A.G. LEVEL OF LAW ENFORCEMENT.>>I WILL DO SOME RESEARCH FOR YOU, NANCY, AND I WILL E-MAIL YOU.>>I DON’T HAVE ANY ANSWERS OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD RIGHT NOW.>> OKAY, I THINK I GOT THROUGH ALL OF THEM. IT’S MOSTLY YOU GUYS REALLY WANTING THE SUPPORT GROUP RESOURCES. MAYBE WE WILL SET ALL CALL JUST FOR EVERYONE THAT WANTS TO TALK ABOUT SUPPORT GROUPS . OKAY, LAST CALL, ANY OTHER QUESTIONS? YOU GUYS ARE COOL. I LIKE YOU. LOVING THE CHAT BOX RIGHT NOW.>>ANY OTHER QUESTIONS ABOUT ADULT SURVIVORS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE?>> OKAY, FOREVER HOLD YOUR PEACE.>>THANK YOU SO MUCH, EVERYBODY, FOR ATTENDING, AND I WILL FOLLOW UP WITH A LOT OF YOU AFTER THIS CALL AND SEND OUT THOSE RESOURCE THIS IS WEEK. AND TALK TO YOU SOON!
1989
15:29:29,000 –>15:29:28,999
THANK YOU, EVERYBODY, FOR COMING.>>ALSO, IF YOU LOVED THIS WEB AND A HALF — WEBINAR, RS YOU MIGHT LOVE NEXT WEEK’S WEBINAR, WE ARE HAVING TWO NEXT WEEK ABOUT THE LESSONS FROM THE SEXUAL ASSAULT DEMONSTRATION INITIATIVE, WHICH I THINK IS ABSOLUTELY FASCINATING, AND EVERYONE, IF YOU LIKED THIS WEBINAR, SHOULD DEFINITELY CHECK OUT NEXT WEEK’S. SO IF YOU WANT TO REGISTER FOR THAT, THE REGISTRATION IS AVAILABLE ON OUR WEBSITE, I WILL INCLUDE THE LINK TO THE REG STATION IN THE FOLLOWUP E-MAIL WITH ALL THE RESOURCES I WILL SEND YOU GUYS. HERE’S MY CONTACT INFORMATION, CALL OR E-MAIL ME IF YOU HAVE TOPICS YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT, AND I’M SURE WE WILL TALK SOON.>>THANKS, EVERYBODY.>>

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