LIVING WITH SOCIAL ANXIETY [lęk społeczny]

LIVING WITH SOCIAL ANXIETY [lęk społeczny]


I’m not very good with people. If you don’t start a conversation, we won’t have. You ever heard of the idea that if
you tell a lie big enough, and keep repeating it, people will eventually believe it? “She’s just shy, she’ll grow out of it.” This, was my lie. So I kept waiting for the day I would finally
be able to show my true colors, without the fear of being judged. But that day… never came. Remember that quiet kid in your class, the one that used to sit in the very back and never raised their hand. Yeah, that’s me. Always too scared to speak up. Fighting my battles inside my head. And losing each and every one of them. A couple years later, not much has changed. What you’re are about to witness may seem funny, until you realise how tragic it actually is. Social anxiety doesn’t just ruin your life. It stops you from living it. At all. Self-consciousness on steroids. That’s the perfect description. My life seems quite normal on the surface so I don’t think anybody knows. But my world is black and white. Everything I do has got to be
perfect, because if I make a mistake, people will remember it, judge and laugh until I die. At least, that’s how I see it. All the little things you take for granted make me extremely nervous, so I end up sweaty, blushing, with a shaky voice and a blank mind. I have no idea how to operate small talk, so I practice for an hour in front of the mirror before I order a coffee. But you can’t just shut yourself in. You’re an adult now and a living is
not going to make itself. It’s hard to get and keep a job though, because it always involves human interaction. So I usually give up halfway through, because I can’t even enter a room full of people, let alone talk to them. Besides, talking to authority figures is terrifying, so most of the time I subconsciously WANT to be late, so that I can avoid the meeting altogether. Now, you probably already guessed my love life is not exactly thrilling. Every time I agree to go out, I instantly regret it, wishing I was back in my comfortable bed. And before I leave the house, I practice all the different conversations that might take place. The meeting itself is just a bunch of uncomfortable silences and some serious wall admiring. And in the end I get completely wasted because it helps with anxiety. The problem is, I talk nonsense when I’m drunk. So the next day, you wake up in terror, overanalyze your perfomance and identify non-existent flaws. And after an hour of going through each and every detail of what happened, you decide he probably hates you. And then he calls. It’s a call you will not answer and you’ll try hard to avoid the guy, because you really like him… Which makes no sense, I know. The most frustrating part is that I know I’m being irrational. Now, isn’t it funny how those who are terrified of human interaction are still more attentive than others? I think people can tell we really listen instead of just staring blankly into the void, waiting for our turn to speak. Maybe that’s why I keep attracting weirdos, and end up in extremely awkward situations. I mean, I know it’s 2017 but that: “I save my used dried out contacts in a baby food jar” is not a casual first liner, is it. Lesson learned, never take your headphones off in public. I have to admit though I’m not a complete outcast. But I don’t think my friends understand my social anxiety very well. I guess I come off as uninterested or rude, but in reality, I’m just too terrified to speak. I try my best though, because alone can turn into lonely pretty fast. So I lie there, all dressed up, trying to remember how humans work before I leave the house. And every single time, I know I can’t stay, but I don’t know how to leave. And all I’m left with in that moment is… Art. Art allows you to gift-wrap your feelings with words and images so that you can hand them over for public consumption without any personal judgement. Nobody needs to know that this one might be about you. Now, you may be wondering if there’s anything you can do about it, and the answer is locked away in one simple word: therapy. You build up your hopes, you try your best, and then you… fall apart. Days pass before you finally manage to pick up the pieces and clumsily put them together. Each time a part of you gets lost and you know you’re never getting it back. But I let that which does not matter, truly slide. Because I know that with
every piece I loose along the way, a new, better one will always fill that empty space. And even though I’m not there yet, I know there will come a day, when I’m the one in charge.

100 thoughts on “LIVING WITH SOCIAL ANXIETY [lęk społeczny]”

  1. I used to have a friend who had social anxiety too and it was awesome because we understood each other but then I moved and now I’m all alone

  2. I literally got mechanical pencils so I wouldn’t have to get up and sharpen my pencil because, when I sharpen my pencil I have to walk in front of people who are obviously judging me. Then, when I get to the sharpener it makes a loud noise which will cause everyone to look at me and judge me harder. And don’t even get me started on walking back to my desk

  3. me: doesn't want to go out to food with friends because i think they will judge me eating. (they never invite me anyway xD)
    social anixety: i got you

  4. I have been diagnosed with social anxiety and generalized anxiety disorder. My mom ignores it half the time and the other time she blames it on technology.
    I don’t not talk people because I’m on my phone, I go on my phone because no one talks to me.

  5. me : casually minding my business

    social anxiety : remember that presentation you gave in front of your class earlier? the one where you stuttered and couldn’t pronounce your words correctly out of nerves? well yeah, everyone probably laughed at you and made fun of you. they’re probably thinking about how stupid you looked and sounded and judging you for it.

  6. Julia Vistorovskaya

    My mom doesn’t understand this. Her solution is “ be more friendly, smile more, talk to more people 😀”

  7. hailey jade cordova

    I hate anxiety so much! I have Social anxiety. I always feel like I have something spiky in my throat whenever I’m in a big class room, small spaces with a lot of people, big places with a lot of people, anywhere where I have to talk to people. I always feel like crying in those moments. I’m so insecure! I hate it so much.

  8. Have social anxiety and it’s effecting my grades cause I NEVER talked to anyone for 5 years like NEVER people just say that I’m just shy but no. And people would think i am CP…

  9. Im so fucked. Im very extraverted i love ppl and sociLizing but then the anxiety hits and it makes me even more generally miserable. I feel like everyone hates me. I cant fucking ask for anything from anyone. Its miserable and its sad. But I manage.

  10. Blue-ish Blueberry

    Everyone's who's quiet struggle on school: The teacher:Yeah she is really sweet and smart (etc) but only she needs to talk to more people and Raise her hand more.
    Me: ACCEPT WHO I AM

  11. When I go somewhere I feel so uncomfortable and awkward in society, like everyone looks at me and thinks "oh, she's so ugly and weird, and she walking by strange way" especially when someone really looks at me and I catch their glance. And I can't even explain why(
    maybe I'm a beginner sociopath

    (Sorry for my bad English)

  12. you found that you can express yourself through art. how would i know what expresses my emotions? How do i overcome my social anxiety, my awkwardness?

  13. Social Anxiety is something i also suffer on. But sometimeswhenever im on a group roleplay on our school i will lie to myself that "Everything gonna go well" and i will still loose eye contact to the audience becuz i always think that all of them are watching each inch of move i do and that they judge it. I really love using and communicating on the internet but whenever i communicate on real life i might be the person who you might ignore and just say im pretty fine but in reality ive thinked a thousand times if anyones judjing me the whole time. It sucks i swear.

  14. My mom always makes me call someone for her,she gives me money to pay for something for her or she makes me ask for help in a store. She once told me "I can't believe you can even order a dang pizza" and I wanted to literally cry. I want to talk to someone about it but I'm afraid they will think I'm one of those girls who think having some type of anxiety is quirky and relatable.

  15. Did anyone that came here from her OCD video expect her to stop the elevator door at 2:16 to go and check her front door again? XD

  16. I was diagnosed with social anxiety earlier this year but it's been a huge burden on me for my entire life. I always thought I'd grow out of this "shyness" I had, but here I am my senior year of highschool with only one friend, too scared to join any clubs, try out for sports or even go to my prom. I've even deleted and retyped this comment multiple times because I'm scared of being judged or saying something wrong. Anyway this video was great and I'm really really glad I'm not the only person in the world like this

  17. If anyone has a discord, I made a server called: Social Anxiety Support Group. If you want to join. Please add me as your friend. Here's my discord: Indigenous Girl#4362
    Message me, and I'll message you the link to the server. If my tag doesn't work, then give me yours!

  18. peachy snowbubble

    Mom: Why don't you go outside or make friends?
    Me: Eh I don't feel like it
    My mind: Because I'm scared of everyone and everyone is scary and mean

  19. My husband went through with me for us to be together,I was with him and I was still been trying to avoid him becase I was so sure it will not work out. Ha cared about me a lot and after 6 months I fully trusted him. But still work interactions or socials are the most terrible moments not able to speak or being so akward to interrupt someone while they talking because I am worried my thought will be said after subject finish….people should be more aware of this this makes me feel like an alien 😔

  20. that wierd (but for other normal) situation when u wait for a friend or a bus or whatever and everytime someone walks by youre scared that they judge u and so u try so avoid eyecontact

  21. I can relate to just about everything (except the adult stuff 'cause I'm 17) my mom tells me I'm just shy so I'm quite confused.

  22. I have social anxiety too it’s so weird and awkward and I can’t talk to anyone and I have no friends 1000 things come to my mind in half a second and I don’t know what to do first,even if I decide what to choose I don’t do it because I don’t have the guts to do it I can never make phone calls I just use a robotic voice to do it..I have problems talking to my teachers and relatives even my parents and I hate calling I prefer texting I mean..I prefer none of them I just don’t want anybody to text me i hide my face in public and I avoid every conversation I get dragged into,Therapy doesn’t work for me because I can’t handle the conversation with my therapist I can’t stare into anybody’s eye because I’m scared if something goes wrong or if I mess up the conversation.
    Please don’t be like me get a therapist as fast as you can to get dragged out into it.

  23. Welll….what if your social anxiety is so bad that you don’t even want to talk to a therapist…because ummmm I could use an answer to that😬

  24. I literally can’t talk to anyone older than me because it freaks me out. If they’re younger than me I’ll y’all if spoken to. I also won’t go anywhere without someone I know

  25. I remember one time, I was chatting with one of my online friends about my opinion on various Marvel characters. She asked me "So what do you think of Bucky Barnes?" and I responded (after 15 seconds of overthinking) "uh.. is that The Flash?". After realizing my obvious mistake, i spent the next 7 minutes burying my face in a cushion and hitting it, wishing I'd died in that moment xd

  26. the worst part of social anxiety is that even at home, with people your supposed to trust, you're too scared to do anything. im too scared to open the pantry, fridge, im scared to go to the backyard, and im scared I'll do something or make a noise. and if i do, then i think about it nonstop , letting myself think that my stepmom thinks im batshit crazy, that im weird or disgusting. its scary not even being able to be comfortable in your own home.

  27. I have a problem thinking everyone is staring at me lmao. Once I dropped a coin during a train ride, i was terribly anxious that the other passengers are judging me and the thought of their eyes being on me were unbearable. So I alighted even though it wasn’t my stop, and waited for the same train and took the train again.

  28. I honestly relate to this, I sit in a corner by myself at school so then I don't get scared by people. My friend tries to get me to sit with their friends I'd do it once, but then I'd get too scared to go there by myself then I get too scared to find my friend and then I just go to my calm corner. It's also the same when my friend invites me to go out with them, but relies on me to either knock on their door to walk with them or go to where we're meant to meet by myself. I get really scared when knocking on doors so I usually wait for a little while outside then leave. When I need to go to the meeting place, I usually stand far away from it trying to gain enough courage to even get close. It's really hard to make friends with Social Anxiety ;-;

  29. The feeling when you really wanna go out and see your friends but like an hour before you have to leave the house you’re just sitting there thinking “if they called and canceled, i wouldn’t mind”

  30. i think i have social anxiety but i am scared to tell anyone cuz they will think that i am just overdramatic and they will judge me bc i am "overdramatic" to them

  31. my social anxiety.

    thinking everything i ever say angers someone and makes them talk about me

    not allowing myself to talk to certain people because i’m afraid they’ll judge me

    being prescribed 4x normal dosage of social anxiety meds and it still not fully working

    remembering something i did 5 years ago, having intrusive thoughts, and having to fucking smack/hit my head to get rid of them

    social anxiety causes me to self harm. run out of class because of panic attacks. destroys my life.

  32. I relate to this video a lot. I don’t have social anxiety, but I share many of the same thoughts and actions, but in a little bit more mild case. I have been working on it tho and improving👍

  33. the worst thing is that my friends don't understand that I feel anxious doing simple things like talking to people, so I don't have friends…

  34. - ccloudy Tearss -

    My mum isnt really supportive about this (me having social anxiety)
    She always see me as a lazy not outgoing person.
    She tells me to be brave and independent And to stop looking Bored or sad but she even know how i feel (shes still a kind person tho)
    Plus my acne makes it even worse-.

  35. i've explained my social anxiety to me friends, but they don't seem to understand it.
    when i tell them i can't go to a party with them, they tell me that i wont get an anxiety attack or anything because they'll be there with me, but that's not how it works. i'll tell them that i can't go order for them, and they'll respond with something like "don't be so dramatic". i know it seems dramatic but i can't help it. i can't control my social anxiety. it controls me. if i could turn it off, i would, because it's the worst.

  36. I don't think I have anxiety at all, but this is 100% me.
    Everything in this video is just like me.

    I'm just commenting "same" on almost every single comment.

  37. When a person sits next to me in a bus, I low-key panic because maybe my breathing is too loud or I smell weird, but them choosing not to sit next to me also makes me panic because what‘s the reason they chose not to sit next to me?

  38. I remember when my mom signed me up for a after school program. Not even a week later they talked with my mom saying that I should be more social and join activities. When we got in the car I got in trouble I tried to explain but the only words that came out of my mouth were “ I want to talk that’s all i ever wish for to talk but I can’t because it’s embarrassing.” She looked at me like I was crazy.

  39. when i take my little brother to the pool he always wants me to swim but i end up sitting there for an hour until i can finally get enough courage to take 5 steps to the pool to get in bc i’m scared everybody’s staring at me and my body, then i have to wait until everybody else leaves the pool before i can get out. another thing i struggle with is during lunch at school i always have to get my bestfriend to walk with me through the lunch line bc i feel like all eyes are on me. it’s very hard for me to deal with social anxiety bc i have a very unique style and personality but i can’t fully express it bc i always feel like ppl will judge me. another thing i hate is when ppl stare at me bc i always think on the negative side and think they’re talking bad about me. i only typed this all out bc i want everyone that deals w social anxiety to know that you’re not alone & there’s more of us then we realize.

  40. The most terrifying thing is when you need to pee in the airplane and you have such anxiety you cant even ask for them to move

  41. i will be showing this to every person confused on my anxiety rather than explaining it because explaining gives me anxiety so i usually just let them be curious forever

  42. The worst thing that can ever happen to me when I have social anxiety is to have a presentation in front of the class. I have seriously fainted a few times and have begun to feel ill in front of the entire class. Once I had a panic attack before going to school and I cried for an hour. My teachers doesn't care at all. I sometimes have to skip school to escape, my mom has tried to make them quit putting me infront of the class but: they. just. don't. care.

  43. Whats worst is having social anxiety about admitting you have social anxiety cause you fear all the judgement you will get from it

  44. “But you always seem so happy and extravert!” Shutup, I am fucking dying while asking even a friend or a teacher if I could use a piece of paper. School presentations? Shit dude, don’t get me started on that one. All I do is acting to look alright.

  45. I am Literally everywhere

    I freaked out on the phone one time because my mom told me to order pizza for dinner and i was about to cry and i kept apologizing to the worker

  46. I’d been struggling with social anxiety for a while… But there have been ways I felt more chill: for me that is working out (EVEN PLAYING SPORTS WITH PEOPLE), reading Mark Manson’s book: “The subtle art of not giving a f**k”, and following Michelle Lam (following her Instagram: mew_tripled), an inspiring figure for me (not only in defeating social anxiety way).

    Hope this helps you too🤗

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