Jessica on the Sexual Abuse of Spycop Andy Coles, September 2017

Jessica on the Sexual Abuse of Spycop Andy Coles, September 2017

I first met Andy when I was 19. I had recently
moved to East London and I was involved with a few local animal rights groups and environmental
groups. It was within these groups that I first met him. I can’t remember the initial meeting.
I remember seeing him at various demonstrations and I knew him to say ‘hi’ to. The next
thing I remember is he started turning up at our house, uninvited, but you’re polite,
you invite people in, and so he was a friend, I thought. We also know now, after Donal has spoken to
lots of other women, that’s actually what he would do. He would turn up around women’s
houses, usually in the evenings, and would be quite difficult to get rid of. One of the other women – I’ve spoken to
her, she said it’s fine to read out a statement she actually made – this is Joy’s own words. ‘He made a pass at me with no preamble. As
I recall he did not say anything but just lunged at me and tried to kiss me. I pushed
him off and he persisted for a while, several minutes, following me around the living room
while I avoided contact and repeatedly asked him to stop. I then had to ask him to leave
which he eventually agreed to do. I cannot remember exactly what I said, I was upset
and angry. I felt a bit stupid for allowing him into the flat in the first place and a
bit soiled to be honest.’ Now, Joy was 26 at this time. This is exactly
what he did to me, he never actually said anything to me, he just lunged at me and
kissed me. I didn’t know what his intentions were, I’d certainly never actually felt
that towards him. The only difference between myself and Joy is that I didn’t react as bravely
as she did. I remember feeling shocked, embarrassed, awkward
and totally out of my depth. I remember it so clearly because it was so uncomfortable,
it has never really felt right. But I put that down to us both being quite young at
the time, and it was actually my first proper relationship. Now we know that in actual fact
he wasn’t 24 like he told me, but he was actually 32 and also he was married. He had been married
for four years at this point. This has now changed from something that was
very awkward and uncomfortable at the time to something that is now very sordid, dirty
and manipulative. A much older man leading me into a sexual relationship as a teenager
that I wasn’t ready for or confident enough to get out of. I have never said I was underage,
I was 19 at the time. But I was no different from lots of people, in that I’d had quite
a traumatic childhood, I’d been bullied at school, and those things had left a bit of
a mark on me. I had low self-esteem and no confidence, I’d suffered panic attacks and
been treated for anxiety. To someone much older, like him, and also a trained police
officer I would have been an easy target for being vulnerable. It’s worth saying at this point that not every
undercover officer had a sexual relationship whilst they were deployed. Andy did not have
to have a pursue a sexual relationship with me to maintain his cover, he chose to. He
absolutely knew that I would have never consented to have sex with a police officer. As far
as I’m concerned he did it knowing it would have been against my will. His bosses also knew it would have been against
my informed consent, and yet they allowed it to happen. Where were the police? The people
who were supposed to protect me? They were the ones that paid him to do it. They were
the ones who arranged the fake birth certificates, the fake driving licences, fake passports,
provided him a fake job, his vehicle and his home. They needed to make him convincing and,
to me, they did. I never stood a chance, I was a stupid naive teenager now left with
the shame of what has happened. Andy won’t face any charges over what he chose
to do to me. I wish there was something I could do about that, but there isn’t. I
wasn’t able to stand up for myself as a teenager, so I need to do that now. I need to try and
take back some control. All I am able to do now is to sue his employers, the Metropolitan
Police. The four ‘torts’, as they call them, for my suing them are; assault, deception,
negligence (on behalf of his bosses for allowing it to happen) and misfeasance (or wrongdoing)
in public office. Also I am also now a part of the Undercover Policing Inquiry, I’m
a core participant. I have so many questions that I don’t think
I will ever know the answers to. Did he despise all of us, people who thought of him as our
friend? Is that the way he treated all of women or was that just the way he treated
us? Was he lying to me when he told me he had
a two year old daughter? We know it wasn’t with his wife at the time, his first daughter with
her was born the year after he and I split up. But we don’t know exactly when he was
deployed so whether he did have a two year old child with another activist, we don’t
know. Why did he choose such public roles when he
knew the danger of his being discovered? Does he feel even the tiniest bit of guilt for
what he did to me? I wasn’t a criminal, I don’t have a criminal record, so why did it
happen to me? How much did he share with the other undercover officers about me? What did
he put in his reports about us and our relationship? He came to my parents’ house on several
occasions, was there a file on them? How did he know about my being adopted? It’s
unlikely I would have told him, it was something I had been bullied about and was deeply ashamed
of, so it was unlikely I’d tell him but people remember him saying it was a great
match that he and I were together, what with both of us being adopted. Did he use something
so private and painful to me just as a ploy to ingratiate himself? I will never know. I wake up in the early hours every morning
with these questions running through my head. I can’t get a moment’s peace from any of
this. It’s twisting the knife that he remains in a trusted public position, as though what
he did to me means nothing. He stepped down from the DPCC role, and if
he had a shred of decency he’d step down from this role too.

3 thoughts on “Jessica on the Sexual Abuse of Spycop Andy Coles, September 2017”

  1. Its absolutely disgusting what happened to you.The abuse of power and the deception is terrible.I'm so sorry for your ordeal,I cannot imagine being a young 19 yr old and not having experienced many sexual relationships and having this happen.This is no different to the grooming that is done by sexual predators in my opinion.I hope you get the justice and resolution you deserve and that the police are held accountable for carrying out such unethical practices.Its disgusting what they did.

  2. Ended up finding about your story after seeing his brother on TV and looking up the brother's bio on Wiki. What happened to you and the women abused by the police saddens and disturbs me. I was in London at the same time, around the same age, and was well aware of the Left/Anarchist/Animal Rights scene at the time, so maybe that also strikes a chord. Anyway, I applaud your bravery in going up to Peterborough and hope you find your peace.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *