HAPPINESS STRATEGIES | 5 Habits That Decrease Your Happiness

HAPPINESS STRATEGIES | 5 Habits That Decrease Your Happiness

Here goes, today I’ll be sharing five habits with you that stunt your happiness. You probably do some of these at least some of the time. And we all do them myself included, so that’s totally fine. But it’s important to recognize them so that we can change it when it happens. Hit the like button if you’re excited to dive in. If you want me to make a more detailed video about one of these topics Then let me know in the comments and we can talk about that topic a bit more First habit that will make you worry and stunt your happiness is, surprise surprise Comparing yourself to others. Whether you’re doing this based on looks, success, relationships, career, or even happiness We tend to compare ourselves to others a lot. We compare ourselves to people that we see in our daily lives or on social media or on TV And we just think that they have this perfect life and that everything that they do is so much better than what we do Well, let me tell you, it’s not. This habit is very dangerous because of this. We compare very selectively. We only see a certain aspect in others that we feel is better than our own And we compare ourselves to people who are prettier, fitter, richer, more successful, and while doing so we are putting ourselves down. I can tell you right now that there’s always going to be someone out there who looks better than you, who’s more successful than you, or who can do more things than you do, and that’s totally OK. Because this person is also comparing themselves to others, and maybe even to you. Because you’re the only one who’s uniquely, you who can bring to the table what you can do. So focus on yourself. The more energy you’ll put into comparison and putting yourself down, the more insecure you feel about yourself. And the more you will forget about the many blessings you have and your amazing life. So stay focused on yourself and support the success of others without feeling bad about your own life Second habit, thinking negatively about yourself. And we often do this without even noticing In the whole wide world, there’s no one as critical about yourself as you are. And we all have this inner critic, and this person is not always so supportive, nice, calming, or even realistic. Because guess what? Most of these negative thoughts you think about yourself are not even true, and definitely not to the extent you are thinking them. So noticing when you’re talking down to yourself is a very important step No need to feel bad about it or anything You can accept this inner critic for being there in your head without listening to what it’s saying You are not perfect. No one is and you don’t have to be. Habit number three might sound familiar Not asking for help when you need it Bearing the weight of the entire world on your own shoulders and feeling like you can’t or shouldn’t ask people to help you out People are not solitary creatures. We like to have others around us So why not depend on others when you need to and let them know that you need their help? Whether it is for something super practical, like taking over a chore around the house when you’re really tired, or with something more emotional, like listening to you and providing support when you need it, when you’re having a rough day. You don’t have to do everything yourself, and you’re not a failure if you admit that you need help sometimes. We all do. Next habit is one of my biggest life lessons Not following and walking your own path in life I think true fulfillment comes from knowing who you really are and what you really need. I often felt that the path others around me were taking was not really my own. It just didn’t feel right Luckily, I learned from quite a young age to trust that feeling and to make my own choices. Even when I doubt them sometimes. People feel most comfortable when they do something that others are also doing, because then it must be good. You can see this happening very clearly when you cross a red light and suddenly people behind you they see this, and they start to follow you. People like social proof. But what happens when the bigger life decisions that you’re making don’t really feel true to you, and you’ll create a big discrepancy between your real desires and the life you’re actually living? I like the example of water. Because water is very soft and fluid, and therefore very powerful Because it can cut through stone and create its own path So let that inspire you and dare to make choices that feel good to you and to trust yourself enough to follow your own path in life. The last one is forcing. Trying to force things that are out of your control. Some things we have control over, and some things we don’t. We all want to achieve happiness and avoid suffering, but trying to force some things you cannot change will not help. When I was going through my burnout It took me around three months to finally stop struggling and stop forcing myself to become better And when I finally did that, you know what happened? I started to feel a little better. I believe in working hard and doing our best, but I also believe that life kind of has a natural ebb and flow to it. And these highs and lows are not exactly opposites. But rather are two sides of the same coin. Because how could we appreciate the highs without having experienced the lows? So trying to force life into only giving you the highs without the lows is not necessary. It’s very tiring and ultimately pointless Famous philosopher Alan Watts used to explain this with the sailing analogy It’s pointless to try and sail against the wind but very effective to use the wind to get to where you want to be

40 thoughts on “HAPPINESS STRATEGIES | 5 Habits That Decrease Your Happiness”

  1. Tomorrow is Simple Happy Zen’s 1st birthday! 🤗🎂 One year ago, I published my first video. I still had LOTS to learn about making videos, so it’s kinda embarrassing haha. 🙃 But the tips are still very solid. Watch my YouTube debut here: 👉https://youtu.be/jTzhXfIlQf0

  2. Hi Vera, great topic, as usual 😁. "Happy birthday" for tomorrow 🎂🍹, and congrats ( you should look back and be happy, and then look forward and be happier)! About the first habbit, it's pretty hard not to compare yourself to others, when everybody arround you does just that every single day…but I think I read somewhere that you should only compare yourself to a past version of yourself, and not to others, if you want to see progress in your life. That was also a good piece of advice 🙂

  3. Happy Birthday in advance… Wishing u lots of subscribers and looking forward to such lovely content… Very wise words indeed… Loved the comparison with water.

  4. Number 3 is a very important reminder for me. I often feel as though I have no one to talk to about things, but the reality is, I do. I just don't want to be a burden on other people. Thankfully, I've started journaling a lot more, so that's been helping a lot. But I still need to actually talk to a person every once in a while.
    Thanks for yet another wonderful video! Happy Birthday to Simple Happy Zen! <3

  5. I suggest number 5 – forcing. Where is the limit, the edge? I am learning to let things happen, to work for me without any strong effort. Happy birthday!

  6. Happy 1st Zen’s Birthday! Best wishes! Thank you for sharing! This is sooooo true! Will practice these positives for myself ♥️

  7. Happy birthday!  I first came to watch your video when I was starting reading Zen books and I l was attracted by your title, Simple Happy Zen.  Actually it has my favorite words: simple, happy and Zen.  I like the way you see the world and I like your work, Vera.  Keep making great videos!

  8. Hi Vera brilliant video I can relate to all of these especially the not asking for help and being too hard on myself. You are a breath of fresh air and very philosophical and as always a help and inspiration to everyone 🤗

  9. Happy birthday Simple happy Zen, nice video . No doubts, m having all of these 5 habits ,thank you for the reminder, well ! Vera, You can make a video on some good habits. Like I have recently started " one good deed a day" habit, you always think positive . Say something about the habits for positivity.

  10. I wish you would be able to celebrate many more birthdays like this one. And I hope you will still be enjoying what you’re doing because sharing positive energy is so important these days. All the best.

  11. Other subtle negative effects of comparison include the erosion of self respect and the constant state of envy. Both will create incredible dissatisfaction and unhappiness AND will throw you off your own sacred path. Vera, I hope that your message finds it’s way to the many who are stuck in comparison.

  12. Your videos are soothing, I feel good when I watch them, you could make a videos on how to stay positive in the worst moments of our life ?

  13. Thank you Vera for another beautiful video.
    For me #1 tip resonated the most and I think you should do a whole video on it.
    Comparisons can decrease our happiness instantly, and reducing our tendency to compare upwards I think can lead to significant wellbeing improvements.
    If we have to compare, we are better off considering all those doing worse than us and offer them our empathy, compassion and support. This can also lead to our gratitude for our situation, however humble. 🤓🌈🇦🇺👔🍀

  14. Habit 3 is so hard for me, because previously when I asked for help, people made fun of me or didn't take me seriously, aka PTSD. What should I do?

  15. HI Vera – I have to say this – when i saw your channel, immediately I was pissed off at the name, what I saw as one more trendy use of the cache of zen buddhism, then I looked at your picture and immediately dismissed you as one more bouncy, shallow blonde with trendy eyeliner who was going to say fatuous cliches as if they were profound revelations. But of course I was totally wrong, and got whacked upside the head bigtime for MY ridiculous judgements and prejudices. As always, thank you for another wonderful video that says important things simply, clearly and gently.

  16. I think it's really important that one should be able to connect with people when they talk and that is exactly what you are doing.
    You're not at all preachy and hence it feels nice, warm and soothing while listening to you, simple yet effective in the way you communicate !

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