Can I Move Past My Sexual Abuse To Have A Healthy Sexual Relationship? Twitter Thursday! #KatiFAQ Denis RichieDecember 4, 201930 Comments Tags:'blind weigh-insed si behaviourHealthy Sexual Relationshiphow can I get betterkati mortonPsychotherapist (Profession)ptsdrecoverysexual abuseSexual Abuse (Crime Type)therapist in santa monicaYogaYouTube Capture 30 thoughts on “Can I Move Past My Sexual Abuse To Have A Healthy Sexual Relationship? Twitter Thursday! #KatiFAQ” NightOasis October 25, 2013 at 12:24 am To whoever asked about the "having a healthy relationship after sexual abuse" it is possible!! My parent and I even have a baby now. And I DO enjoy sex with him. Just when I'm having an off period, I just TALK to him about it, and he's very understanding. It probably won't happen for a few years. It took me TEN years after my abuse stopped to get into that sort of relationship because I Always just shut down and do whatever guys I was dated wanted. You need to work on you, first. Reply NightOasis October 25, 2013 at 12:25 am Partner not parent lol Reply Mari Santarem October 25, 2013 at 12:27 am This was actually really fitting for me, and for some talks that I've been having with myself lately. The last bit in the end, where you made the analogy with the ship, was really touching to my heart and actually brought me a smile and a few happy tears. Thank you so much, Kati! I think this is the first time I'm leaving a comment, but you actually help ne a lot. ♥ Reply Alyson Bye October 25, 2013 at 12:48 am I was happy someone asked the question about the sexual abuse and current sexual relationships because this is exactly what I am struggling with right now. I hate that it takes so much time, but I am pushing through it (slowly). Hopefully whoever asked that question sees this comment and will message me! It would be awesome to talk to someone who knows what i'm going through! xoxo lovely vid as always, Kati. 🙂 Reply tiff the Ninja October 25, 2013 at 12:58 am #KatiFAQ can panic attacks cause Tourette's? Because I have been having at least one panic attack a day and then even after my attack is over I still have tics hours after Reply 1yearoffun October 25, 2013 at 1:36 am How do I get over the fear of even going out with a guy if I've been sexually abused in my past. I have a guy that i kinda like, and he asked me to the movies, but I was terrified because it's dark in there and he's a male. How do I get over that quickly? Reply HannahS October 25, 2013 at 1:53 am Hey Kati, I hope it's okay for me to ask a random question here. I just started seeing a therapist again and I'm really struggling with feeling like I'm wasting her time because I don't really feel like I want to get better. I've dealt with depression and self harm for awhile, but I honestly don't have that much of a desire to get better for whatever reason. Is it normal to not really want to recover and am I wasting my therapist's time? Reply Lissi S. October 25, 2013 at 8:46 am For once I managed to check out your videos while being in Iceland and then this appears. Thank you so much for answering this fourth question about sexual relationships and past abuse. This has been such an urgent question in my mind recently up to a point where I thought I'll probably never be able to have that in a healthy way. But you are right,it's probably just that I can't have it right now, but that doesn't mean I'll never have it."It's a process, not perfection", right?! Reply Lissi S. October 25, 2013 at 8:47 am So I'll take your advice, give it some time, continue to be more open about then I have been before and most importantly look for a person who treats me right and wants to understand. Then I think it might be possible. Of course it will be. Why wouldn't it work for me, when it can work for others? Yaaay, starting the day with some positive energy right here! Hugs from Iceland and thank you so much Kati!xoxoxox Reply Caroline Stuart October 25, 2013 at 3:45 pm That is an issue for me. I either can't go thur with it, or completely tune out during. It is a horrible feeling. Reply Christina Farmsy October 25, 2013 at 4:37 pm hahaha for the first 10 seconds you sound really southern kati! :)) xx Reply PsychoDoc88 October 27, 2013 at 8:03 am I have been sexually abused in the past when I was 12-16 or so by my uncle multiple times. I am 24 now and have a boyfriend and he knows everything and is understanding but somehow when we have sex I can't enjoy it. I am like dissociated. N I hate myself after and feel awful. I got pregnant this summer and we were supposed to move together but I panicked and said that I can't. Now I don't even have feelings for him anymore n hate him even touching me or hugging me. Idk what to do ! Reply Emily Lynne October 29, 2013 at 4:43 pm Question 4 was really helpful. At some point, I would really love a more in depth video about that. Healthy sexual relationships and feeling okay (not scared, ashamed) with our sexuality after sexual abuse. And discuss the struggles with sexuality that SA survivors have. Thanks. Great video, as always. Reply Shelly Olla November 2, 2013 at 11:25 am Hi Kati, I came across your videos whilst I was browsing through videos on YouTube last night. When I told a psychologist I was seeing (who I had not seen in a few years) of the abuse I experienced as a child he told me I just need to get over it.. He was the first ever 'professional' person and the 2nd person I ever told about my past.. Is this in your opinion, a helpful thing to say to a client especially as it took me so long to reach out for help? Reply charitie brooks November 20, 2013 at 1:57 am at my IOP my dietition does the blind weights with us and i find it helpful not to see it. she says that its just a number and we should learn to be ok with our bodies with out the numbers. it seems to be working but i hate not knowing my weight… Reply Bronwyn Walker January 5, 2014 at 12:37 pm Thank you. Reply Hij ra January 5, 2014 at 5:05 pm my advice to anyone struggling is to not numb yourself from feelings. this is how i coped for years and it was the most destructive thing ever. if you are angry or sad let it out dont keep it in. Reply Maggie Kohout February 13, 2015 at 12:48 am Do you really still think it is okay and even productive for your clients to know how much they weigh and see the number on the scale? Have your thoughts on this changed? Every therapist/recovery team member I have met has said not to do this i.e. weigh yourself, see how much you weigh, know how much you weigh… Reply UnendlessxSea February 19, 2016 at 10:42 am My therapists considered my purging as a form of self-harm Reply Gabbie Fulton March 31, 2017 at 3:44 pm Hey Kati thank you for this video it has help me understand many different things. Reply betocracks April 16, 2017 at 1:41 pm your videos are just GREAT! but i have a doubt.. do you have BPD?… or something like that?.. did you past throught a traumatic experience about the topic of this video?… if you want, i will delete this comment after i read your answer. .thank you.. Reply jen scaff August 16, 2017 at 4:06 am 2017 Aug love your videos Reply jen scaff August 16, 2017 at 4:07 am you are one of few I find less stressful to hear Reply KE Barrett December 20, 2017 at 3:49 pm Thank you so much for this. My assault happened when I was a child but only the last few years have the flashbacks occurred. I believe I put on all my weight as a barrier and a way to keep men away. I have lost 163 pounds and the attention is a bit overwhelming. With men in general, I’m afraid. I have really bad anxiety just think about it. I was just asked out on a date with a guy who happens to be a cop. It’s weird, how it gives me a little bit of comfort that other men haven’t been able to give me. Thank you so much for your informative video. Reply XeaRae May 12, 2018 at 3:59 pm Love the ship analogy. I really hope the small changes for the better change our course. Reply Michelle White June 27, 2018 at 1:00 am I love what your yoga teacher said !! I will remember that for sure !!! xxx Reply Savannah Sykes July 6, 2018 at 4:41 am I was raped when I was 12 and i have been molseted multipial times and I have talked and been with guys and they treat me like a sex object and they treat me like im a slave and they tell me they own me and like im nothing im not really in to sex and I keep doing this cause I feel like I deserve it and I feel like im nothing. I tryed to have sex the other day for the first time (consensually) and I just couldnt go through with it im scared im never gonna going to have a healthy relationship or a healthy sex life I dont want this to be my life cause I know its just getting more and more serious but I know I dont deserve good love and I never willI am 15 Reply Jackie Cummings July 27, 2018 at 9:56 pm Really Reply Jackie Cummings July 27, 2018 at 9:57 pm How come the therapists I have been to don't know this Reply Hailey Pyle November 17, 2019 at 7:13 am Is manipulation to have sex, or having sex out of obligation in a marriage sexual abuse? Reply Leave a Reply Cancel reply Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *Comment Name * Email * Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.