Agoraphobic and Anxiety coping and self help

Agoraphobic and Anxiety coping and self help

hey what's going on there's just a few things I wanted to talk about I got kind of motivated to make some videos after watching a couple other people's agoraphobia videos on YouTube and I saw some some poor young lady crying her eyes out I saw another bestseller for USA Today or the new york times or whatever it is and you know her dealing with agoraphobia and so many others in between and I'm gonna have to do some editing I never script these things but uh I'm just going off the top of my head here it's not like I really have something specific to say um like a certain topic I just wanted to talk about agoraphobia in general and I have a hard time looking into the camera I'm sorry about that and also I'm sorry I'm all up in your face you would laugh if you see in the way i'm recording this right now with my iphone bungee corded to my sun visor but whatever i felt you know i'm rambling anyway um we're not defeated i don't know how many times i gotta say this you know in my videos but my videos don't get that many views it's it's not about popularity it's about reaching people that need to hear it and maybe i do reach people that need to hear it but they don't need to hear me maybe my message isn't necessarily for them but maybe there is a couple people out there who my message is for so if i have five use for five months and then i get a sixth view and I helped you know that six-person maybe realize something maybe look at something a little differently or something like that then you know it's worth it to me I no way of knowing you know most people listen to your video for or watch your video for you know I don't know what the retention time is on YouTube three minutes five minutes and whatever and I can't get everything I want to say out in three or five minutes unless I do some major editing and cutting out a lot of meat that I think needs to go out there but um you just you got to realize I I got to realize it to what I'm going through it we are undefeated every time we have faced certain death through our panic attacks we were one hundred percent sure we're going to end up in the emergency room getting those little shocker paddles you know jumpstart our heart we're going to meet God you know everything else were terrified yet here we are you know um that's that's a victory and you know I talk a lot about exposure therapy i love exposure therapy um because you can't fail at exposure therapy in my in my opinion you can't if my exposure therapy is to go seven miles away from my house which is really pushing it for me um and I make it three miles to my house I still went three miles you know I mean yeah I didn't necessarily leave my comfort zone or anything but I did something about it I did tackle my agoraphobia on that day and one thing I got to keep going oh you know just an update for a few people who are following I need to continue practicing because I did make my doctor's appointments and yesterday I got excellent news in the in the mail that they are continuing my disability that they feel that it's still necessary and I was terrified that you know they were going to discontinue it because I've never had a review like this done before so that's that part is out of the way um I kind of like to get a job in the real world to challenge mine xiety my agoraphobia but the way the circumstances are in my house right now it's just not a good time for that I have a ten-year-old son who i'm home schooling and you know my my two daughters work or go out you know and and their mother works you know and you know on the weekends she'll go out or whatever so there's no time for me to work you know there's you know ten years old I can't leave my son at home alone at that age and the fact of the matter is I can't go out and earn the dough you know that that would make you know that would make it worth that I don't want to take away from you know my kids or my kids mother you know or anything you know with with them doing their life I'm so happy I'm so blessed my kids are working and you know because they grew up seeing their dad being a bump on the log you know I mean I just really picked up this exposure therapy thing recently you know so most of the time I just SAT home and felt sorry for myself and you know I still do agoraphobia is a very lonely condition to have and I don't like being lonely and I don't like being away from my family you know so it I got a little bit of a catch-22 there but um I just uh I wish that the government you know are the people that review people that need assistance would take agoraphobia a little bit more seriously um they forced me to go to a doctor's office that was out of my comfort zone in hindsight it was awesome I did it you know I was able to you know take care of you know what I had to take care of and I proved to myself that I was a lot stronger than I really thought I was um but I mean it was terrifying leading up to it you know I mean I was like god what if I don't make this appointment what if I you know have a panic attack on that day or whatever so I just I got in the car and it was like five almost five and a half miles away and I drove it every day and I only had a week's notice because of other circumstances normally you don't have a weeks notice um you know you get a lot longer notice but I'm not going to bore you with the details of that anyway yeah I had about five or six days practiced every single day and the first day it was very hard the second day it was hard the third day felt like a breakthrough and after that that was you know it was easier to go through the appointment than it was practicing on those first couple days you know so I mean practice does make perfect you know obviously with agoraphobia I think that you kind of develop social phobia because you're so used to you know you're not really blowing off your friends but you know that's kind of how they see it um you know so you lose a lot of friends you lose touch with a lot of people really it seems like the only friends I have are Facebook friends you know from like when I was a kid and everything people that I swore I'd never lose touch with I've lost touch with you know they've invited me to go hang out you know do whatever and it just you know the agoraphobia I turned them down so many times I don't even get invited now one of them's actually mad at me because you know they think I don't know they think I'm too good for them or they think that I think I'm too good for them that's not the case at all they just don't understand it and you know a lot of family doesn't understand a lot of friends don't understand it you get the mind over matter you know type things or you know suck it up buttercup or you know whatever it is that the people around you tell you need to do you know some people are just like you just got to do it you know and and that's more terrifying you know that makes it worse they think they're helping but you get someone telling you you know you've got to do something well now all the sudden that puts responsibility on you and then you know it's just like you really go haywire because now not only are you going to fail for yourself but you're also going to fail in terms of um you know their expectations and you know you don't want to put more pressure on it so maybe not only people with agoraphobia or social phobia or generalized anxiety or anything else that's out there that could relate to this maybe they're not the only ones that are going to see it maybe someone who has a child or a friend or spouse that's dealing with it you know might want to see the point of view you know maybe get some tips on how to handle things I'm sorry I'm not really looking into the camera like I said with the setup man I'm the cameras right in my face and when I do look at the camera like I am right now I look like I'm cross-eyed and I'm not cross-eyed it's just you know I'm trained in on this little dot I hate that anyway this channel isn't going anywhere anyway the way I thought it was going to go I really wanted to talk about God I didn't want to talk about my problems I didn't want to talk about anyone's you know problems as far as overcoming anxiety and doing exposure therapy or talking about anxiety but that's just kind of the way it you know it went and I do have a lot to say about God but I feel like I got a base going here already you know and I kind of feel like I'm a professional when it comes to agoraphobia because I've dealt with it for a good 15 to 20 years you know and there's been ups and downs in mom and you know our Facebook has that memory thing you know look at what you posted five years ago today and everything and looking at that sometimes I have my ups and sometimes I have my downs because um you know I'll look you know I'll go oh my god you know if you know if you know what I'm dealing with you no me making it to here is such a big deal and you know now that's a place I can go to and you know I look a couple years earlier a couple years later than that and I see you know that I made it 12 miles away from my house or 13 or 14 miles away from my house you know and then I feel like I'm not progressing like I should be progressing but you know what it comes down to is how do you feel inside do you feel like you're doing what you can I mean right now I think I am doing all I can if I tried to go 14 miles out it would be disastrous it would be a huge setback it's not even a goal of mine right now right now my goal is to maintain this five to seven mile radius around my house and you know if I'm having a bad day I'm still going to try it because if I don't then you know it shrinks and you get it's it's a war we're at war with anxiety and my god I look so cross eyed in this I'm getting off track but yeah you know we're at war with our own minds you know I mean it's telling us all this fake stuff like hey there's these invisible lines some people can't leave their house or their apartment you know I was so bad at one point that I couldn't leave my bedroom you know except for to use the bathroom or whatever and you know that it didn't last very long I think like one of the more one that really bothered me was a gas station it's not even a mile away the closest gas station to my house and I was terrified to go to that gas station go inside you know by what I had to buy and get the gas and leave but I did it and when I did it it was an amazing feeling because the punishment that I put my body through because agoraphobia or all phobias all anxieties takes a toll on your body you go out and have a panic attack you'll sleep like a baby again you know assuming that you're not going to bed with a panic attack and staying up all all night and everything you know worrying about it but you know if you go through a panic attack and then you get over it you're calm and everything's fine then yeah you'll sleep like a baby but I mean the biggest the biggest advice I could give two fellow the hell is this fellow agoraphobe you know our post traumatic stress disorder or you know and everything else OCD just push yourself because one day you're going to find that you push yourself further than you thought was possible you're going to find that you pushed yourself to wear a year or two earlier you didn't even think that you know it was possible to get to that point um you know you just you got to take little steps you got to secure your boundaries it's it's a war you got to claim your territory you've got to defend your by your boundaries and then you have to push you have to invade new territory and you know I don't want to get politically correct or anything I mean I'm not pearl war or anything like that I know some crazy people think or whatever but it's a war of your mind and you need to take control of your life and you can take control of your life but everyone's going to do it at their own pace it might take you six months to get this under control it might take you fifty years who cares if it takes you fifty years as long as you're moving in a positive direction and you're moving in a positive direction as long as you're trying that's all I ask that you do for yourself you're not doing it for me you're doing it for yourself try something every day and at the minimum and I don't care if you do the minimum all the time at the minimum go to the edge of your comfort zone and you know if if you don't feel like going one street past it if you don't feel like taking two steps out of the you know front door or whatever you're you know come whatever your boundaries are just challenge them let them know you're there let them feel your presence um I made friends with another guy who watched one of my videos down in Miami big Marlins fan can't remember his youtube name you know right off the top of my head but I enjoyed watching his videos and you know I didn't even see anything about anxiety he was just ranting on the Marlins and that was kind of you know cool to see because just seeing him do his you know his channel you know he kind of looked like a sportscaster or something like that I would have never thought in a million years that guy had um you know agoraphobia you know and he reached out to me in the comments and you know that was just awesome and we need a community you know we need to be um United through some form of social media so we can keep in contact with each other um facebook i'm a member of this facebook group called if you put a agoraphobia in the search group it's got to be one of the biggest ones uh time to escape or something like that I don't know because I'm always in it you know it's kind of like I don't even know my kids phone number or my house phone number because I just press on their name you know same thing with this you know it just pops up in my feed because I'm looking at them all the time and we give each other encouragement and you know we hear good stories of breakthrough we hear bad stories where you know someone's going through something and needs you know some sort of help some sort of pick me up and then you know I just got another dose today like i said earlier on youtube you know watching a couple people who suffer from agoraphobia in the way they were dealing with it i wanted to cry seeing this one poor girl because you know a lot of observers would look at her but like my god you know what a drama queen or she's overreacting and this and that and and I feel for because I've been there I've been the drama queen you know King I've been um you know I've been in that spot my family has left to go on vacation without me if I didn't feel bad enough that I couldn't go and share that experience with my kids not only that I I was terrified that oh my god I'm gonna be in an empty house for you know seven days or you know however long it is my family's going on an airplane you know and I'm a glass-is-half-empty kind of guy most the time oh my god what if the plane crashes oh my god what if this well my god what if that none of it happened and after they left you know the first day was kind of rough but after they left I felt better than I felt when I was worrying about it before they left and the days just flew by and that was over a year ago you know went there got the t-shirt brought home the postcards and you know it's old news you know so the the the second time it happened the third time it happened I knew what to expect any time you go through something for the first time you're going to have worried um this other lady i was watching on youtube um she sometimes i feel like i might be one of the only guys with agoraphobia anyway this other lady i was watching on youtube was talking about going to walmart and you know having a list and because she wanted to stay in specific areas of the store you know because you got to have some sort of control you know and i know all about that i've done that you know i can relate and it's just it's so important that we we know we're out there you know because honestly my neighbor eight houses down from me could be a agoraphobic and we would never know it we would never know it because we're not out we're not social butterflies you know we're not we're not out mingling and you know life's a little bit harder because you're not surrounding yourself with friends you're sitting at home dwelling on things that no one should have to do a lot just the fact that you've made it to this point in your life and you're still alive you defied your odds you defied the odds that you put on yourself your limitations you beat them because you were sure that there was hundreds of other times that you had to do things in your life and you you couldn't see any possible way of you getting through it and somehow or another just like me we got through it look I'm not a doctor and doctors haven't been able to help me as you can tell by my channel name I put all my faith in God when I go somewhere I know I'm not alone because God is omnipresent God is with me God is you know telling me i can do it with God you could move mountains but you know he'll give you a shovel he ain't gonna do it for you but I can tell you one thing the things I've been going through the past few years I'm a lot stronger person than I ever gave myself credit for I'm not going to talk about it on here it's not appropriate but um there are things that I just never even thought there was a possibility of it happening that you know have happened in my life that have been negative and you know one of my own friends my my best friend my next-door neighbor told me you know he's an atheist you know and he told me I am NOT a good poster boy for God you know because of all the issues and all the problems I'm going through and everything you know where's God in your life man if God wasn't in my life I wouldn't be here right now I wouldn't there's no way but through the trials that I've been through I can look back and be like oh my god I remember the day that you know this happened and I thought to myself my life as I know it is over I'm gonna be institutionalized you know and that didn't happen and I'm I'm not certifiable none of us are agoraphobia you know I mean there might be a few people out there that aren't on here for a glorify bia which is my main focus because it's what I've suffered with for so long it might be a little crazy you know that's all right don't rock and roll and rappers brag about being crazy um just uh embrace embrace who you are I know I'm going all over the place but I just I have so much to say and I have no script I don't script this man I do this because I like it and if I throw a script in here then it's going to turn into work I'm going to have to edit this though because um I'm all over the place but just you know it's just like I got something to say anything one thing it ain't I want to focus on a agoraphobia and crossing your boundary line or I want to focus on you know agoraphobia and making friends or I want to I don't want to focus on anything today is a second or may third I'm not sure which day it is one of the lovely things of being on disability and not having a job I know it's Tuesday it's garbage day but um these are just the things that are on my mind and you know if I'm going to vlog I hate typing I hate I hate writing um you know I'm gonna ramble a little bit which means I'm going to have to open up a windows movie maker and edit some of this garbage out but um join a support group if you're if you're not already in one I am NOT a moderator for the agoraphobia time to escape or you know i'm not sure that i know they changed the name not too long ago but it's one of the biggest agoraphobic you know groups on Facebook and the support there is just absolutely amazing but yeah I'm not a moderator I'm not a founder I'm just a member that there's no money that they pay me for you know plugging them or anything I'm plugging them because i know it's helped me and i know it could help you because the main thing it shows you is you are not alone and YouTube you can post a video and you can get five use in a month and you just think nobody cares or nobody's watching or you know what you know you know what you got to go through just to get seen on YouTube I mean to be taken seriously and to get you know rate it up high and all that other stuff it's it's a job it really is and that's not what this is to me if it was there'd be a you know uh I want to say a skit a script you know planned out and everything and um I'm not doing it for that I'm doing it because I want to look back at my own videos what I'm having a rough day um I'm doing it because I want people to understand what their family and loved ones who are dealing with this what they go through I want to share some techniques that worked with me and I want to watch your videos and I want to see what techniques work for you and implementing and you know I just I really want some sort of a community I want I want these people that I see crying their eyes out on youtube to know they are not alone they are not the only ones out there feeling this way there's people that are better off there's people that are worse off and even if you are the worst case of agoraphobia in America and you know the UK in the world someone out there has it worse than you you know I mean don't look at yourself as a victim we live in a society now that kind of promotes being a victim and I don't I don't want to be a victim I you know when you were a kid did you grow up you know fantasizing in your head you know watching he man or whatever word did you want to be he man or she wrote or did you want to be the person they were saving get rid of the victim mentality are we victims of agoraphobia yes but agoraphobia only give agoraphobia only has the power over us that we give it by not fighting against it by not challenging at we we need to fight our lives are being invaded by false thoughts by by the enemy by a spirit of fear whatever you want to call it and I read the book and I know who wins we all make mistakes there's no such thing as a perfect Christian and if you meet someone who says they are the perfect Christian chances are they're more like the Pharisees and if if you read the gospel you know how jesus felt about the Pharisees just do your best do your best you're going to fall behind you're gonna lose some battles you're going to win some battles take advantage of those wins and don't dwell on the losses this war is winnable people have come out on the other side we will come out on the other side

5 thoughts on “Agoraphobic and Anxiety coping and self help”

  1. i suffer from agoraphobia and anxiety and just seeing how you can step out and talk about it gives me relief i try to hide that i suffer from this and always have an excuse to give when asked to go anywhere.. i wish i could get to the 5 to 7 mile radius of my house like you i can;t go a mile yet and days i can go a little over a mile but not alone yet.. it feels hopeless sometimes.. i have a gas station close to my home and i try to step out of my comfort zone to do just that some days are good but one good is usually followed by 4 or 5 bad days.

  2. just thinking if I had a car I would be more mobile. I have problems with public transport which limits what I can do. though haven't driven in 20 years and have no confidence due to anxiety. trying with exposure therapy, can walk down to the local shops, couldn't do that last year

  3. you haven't posted a vid in a couple months… just found your channel… so idk if you'll see this but your vlogs are awesome. i hope you keep posting about your journey. i have conversion disorder, panic with agoraphobia and depression. hard to tell which symptom is which issue and its confusing cause i'm not always sure what im dealing with. i was hoping i'd somehow have grown out of these things by now… i know that's not how it works but still.

    i don't leave my room much and can't tell you the day of the week. nothing to fill my days. it all blends, yeah? i never have the energy to do anything, and when i do i feel like something bad will happen if i leave, like a panic attack or death. as long as i stay here, there's not really an issue with anxiety so why would i want to leave. i don't even know my boundaries as far as how far away i can go, but i don't have the stamina or will to find out and fight the good fight. i'm stuck and I can't picture a future.

    not to mention my fam is going away for a week soon but i havent told them im not going yet (though im scared to be on my own even at home, too). i know they won't understand.

    and i feel so far from God- so useless and doubtful things will ever get better. have you ever been in a place like this? how do you keep going when depression takes the last bit of energy you have on top of everything else?

    that facebook group sounds supportive but i deactivated my account because i couldnt stand to see people living their lives anymore… it hurts. i know im a bit all over the place here. not sure if im making any sense.

  4. Hola soy de Venezuela y estoy sufriendo de los mismo tengo 20 años, a veces siento que es tan dificil pero hay que luchar… gracias por tu video y la motivacion

  5. **This is a lot longer than I ever thought it would be… Hope you understand. Thanks for everything ~

    I hear you on the friends thing. I have none, and some of those that I let slip though the cracks I know would have been amazing people to have in my life. So they're on my FB, I get to see where they are going in life, but not much of anything else. My family pushed me so hard that it made things even worse. Mental and physical abuse… Threw out my things, punished me. Yeah… I have a lazy eye so yeah, no looking at the camera for me!! It only shows up when looking at a camera or something, generally I can just correct it myself haha. You look fine, don't be so hard on yourself! I saw your last video by the way, so I am really glad everything went good. You took all the right steps to ensure that it did. I am just now putting things in motion in order to get assistance. I did not realize I had agoraphobia this whole time until maybe half a year ago or less? A community would be great, knowing people who could relate with us were near would actually help to get us out at times. I love the group, I have never in my life felt like so many people were behind me! Some of the best people I have ever met, were met over the last couple of months. Some of the strongest, and wisest too… I am not currently in the situation I was where I went through the mental and physical abuse anymore, since I met my wife. But I got it from friends, family and everything between. Can't imagine sending your family off on vacation! Though, I know what you mean by feeling better… Like a weight lifted from your chest. Haha, yeah doesn't seem many guys with agoraphobia/ptsd/social anxiety/etc. reach out to many. I think it is because we are taught to keep our feelings to ourselves. I am really glad you're on the group, you, Chuck, Jimmie and so many others. If you couldn't tell, I am watching video (from where I left off yesterday)… And you are an amazing speaker… Don't get discouraged about how many views or subscribers you've got because you're definitely reaching some, me included. Keep it up and the more you post on the group, the more you will reach. I am not an atheist, I consider myself an open book. Just waiting for something to kick me in the butt, send me a sign, or something. I respect your beliefs, and I think it is cool that you are friends with a non-believer, had I not heard that bit I may not have mentioned anything about my personal beliefs, as to not put you off. Am just learning to embrace who I am. And when I do my dash cam videos for the group, I have to remind myself post it whether I like how I "sound" or what I am talking about – because that is the REAL and unscripted me! We are our own worst enemies.. Ha, I like to write as you can see, just not in a blog setting or where I might feel forced to do so. Yeah the group has definitely helped me! Before TTE, I had nobody but my wife who just doesn't understand. I was going no where and very quickly. The people there are amazing and made me feel so welcome right from the get go. I hope to make a vlog style video like the ones you do someday soon. That is hard for me, I have trouble with my looks, my voice, my words, etc. But everyday I am getting closer, every picture, post and video I post on the group is one step closer towards me doing a vlog like this. Ha! Yes I Wanted to be Conan, He-man, Rocky, etc.! What a good point… Lot's need to hear that and embrace it because it is so true 🙂 Thanks Roy, this was a great video. We will overcome! And in the process, some of us like yourself will help others overcome.

    Sorry for the long winded comment… You covered a lot of good stuff and I felt it necessary as I got to writing and more stuff kept popping up for me. Hope it isn't too much and I can do a "TT;DR" recap if you would like. I don't like that TT;DR stuff though haha.

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