7 Habits of Highly Effective Death Positive People

7 Habits of Highly Effective Death Positive People

100 thoughts on “7 Habits of Highly Effective Death Positive People”

  1. Sometimes I read gravestones to learn a bit about the individuals and their lifestory, as much as you can from a gravestone. I'd like to think someone cared enough for me to listen to my story, so I like to do that with others.

  2. I’m interested in knowing about death, preparing for it and whatnot and it bothers me that people either think I’m depressed, want to die or am just weird. 🙄 I’m a happy go lucky person, thank u world.

  3. My grandmother was just cremated, about 3 months ago. My aunt who was her power of attorney ended up with a serious head injury the same time she was on her death bed. So she could not speak for my grandmother and her wishes. My mother and other aunts Prolonged her death for 4 days hooked up to life support until my almost comatose grandmother was coherent enough to say take me off all this stuff. The doctors all said "But you'll die." and to that she said "So?" After that she slowly started to go I gave her a hug one last time and went home. I didn't cry. I thought wow she can accept this, she ended her life on her own terms. I wasn't sad for her, myself, or my family. It was a grave side funeral. She I think more then any other person helped me view death less with fear and more with comfort. I didn't think of any of this at the time. I just kept wondering. Why am I not sad? I still don't get it completely.

  4. I have a question for ask a mortician. Do people who open a burial ground often own their own funeral homes as well? Is this common or uncommon ? Would it make sense to do both or would it be too much ?

  5. That's funny That you would put this book in here, I read that book years ago and one of the exercises in the book was picture yourself at your own funeral up in the corner elevated above everyone and what are they saying about you? it would give you a perspective of how you've lived your life and how you could change your life to be a better person! Be good to yourself! love the video .

  6. One habit I'm learning is to govern my death positivity more to fit the situation and not exclaim out loud at a funeral, "I love funerals".

  7. Fellow deathlings, just a reminder to ignore trolls. I had encountered a troll on Ask A Mortician and she's shown up here, too. It will be very obvious if you peruse the comments. Personally, I think this one should be banned from this channel.

  8. Time of mourning is so strange one friends husband dies 7years ago she hasn't moved on and I don't mind another family member was dating 3 months after his wife died good for him

  9. billybonesfourtyfour

    The one about grief, THANK YOU. My dad passed away about 4 years ago, I still have the occasional "oh, I gotta show this to hi…. oh." Moment. And my mom is still beyond miserable.. and yet, people still tell her to get over it… to which I respond, "fuck you, and your goat."

  10. Is there a way to get a job in the death business without going to college? My dream career is cooking/baking, but I absolutely adore corpses and decay, and I'd love to work with cadavers for a short time. (Not only do I think dead people are cool, but I figure it would also be a good way to become closer with my arguably distant future.)

  11. My husband will not talk about death. He's 10 years older than me. Barring accidents it's likely he will go first. I shared my death plan but he wouldn't hear it or talk about his own. He's a death denier. How can I help him accept and plan for the inevitable?

  12. As I watch your videos, I am repeatedly amazed by the similarities between your work and mine as a BIRTH doula. I work with people who have lost babies sometimes, and they often hear from others that they should move on. Especially with early miscarriage. I can be the person assuring them that there is no timeline, and the baby is their own, beloved child no matter the time of loss.

  13. Not putting a timeline on grief. It can be hard to be on the outside when someone grieves over someone for a long time. Our lives move on but they're still processing it all. We just gotta remember to step back and remind ourselves that grief doesn't run on our schedules. I don't think you ever stop grieving the people that were closest to you. I just think the feelings come less frequently over time. My dad will be dead 11 years in June and it still hits me. And it's O.K.!

  14. This reminds me of when my mother died 2 years ago and, after the funeral someone came up to me and said “I know it’s hard but you must be used to this death thing.” Like I go to funerals everyday just because my lifestyle is gothic! I think I said “yes, I also hang out with Morticia Adams at the Chelsea Flower Show!”

  15. In going to be cremated (purify, not putrify). Told my family I wanted my cremains divided and put into teddies @ Build a Bear. Children and spouse each get one.☺ They could take me places! They said they won't do that. 😐

  16. Me, I'm concerned about being conscious when deceased and buried. Just like I listened about a priest who said he had no vitals for 20 something minutes, then he came back. Where he's been on EWTN several times, I think he took it when Mother Angelica passed away. EWTN that is. Then I know of caskets washed up by storms where there were scratch marks inside where they were buried alive and they tried to escape. Which I also think of a natural burial I was ok with at one time, where I think about works and such crawling through me which someone referenced a bible verse suggestive of being aware during such time. Where I have lots of mixed feelings. I also don't like being closed up or alone. Where those that had the catacombs might have had it right.
    Then I think about the resurrection, where I'd hate to come to 6' under. Where Jewish burial is of interest.
    I'd settle for a small log cabin as a sepulchre with a recliner my body can be laid on. Where I can get up and put when time. Like Davy Crocketts wife is back in the woods, where it's been desecrated apparently. Puke trash do those kinds of things. Where it might be better to have a cabin in a public place.
    But could that he possible?

  17. I’m a nursing student, and I’ve been considering either going into pediatrics or palliative care (or both, because there’s definitely a significant overlap that gets too often ignored)

    I’m new to this channel, but your videos are definitely helping me develop my own philosophy and perspective regarding the kind of stuff I’m probably going to see in my future healthcare career.

  18. I guess it is hard for me to be death positive because I see death when I shouldnt. One of my cats is 18. The vet said he was one of the healthiest geriatric cats she has seen and he runs around the apartment like a crackhead a lot but because he is 18 I still cry and have nightmares of his death. My boyfriend has type two diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol. He eats healthy (his medical issues stemed from genetics, a defective thyroid and side effects of different medications), has a positive outlook but almost every day, I worry about waking up and him being dead. So, its irrational, I think, how much worse if it were rational? I beat myself up for not being comfortable with death. I envy atheists for having no fear of dying. I've suffered on and off with depression and the only thing that stopped me from commiting suicide was not that I didnt want to off myself but is my agnostic fear of not knowing what (if anything) is next. So, I guess for me, its probably best I deal with being around death and seeing death as little as possible. I do have mad props for anyone comfortable around death/their own mortality. Takes lots of grace and maturity


  20. Well, my therapist is concerned w my death interest considering I’ve been suicidal and continue to think about it all the time… in this case idk if it is okay or not

  21. Death walks with me everyday and Caitlin you are a big help and do a great public service educating the public on the truth of the death industry thank you so much keep up the great work ,,, sincerely your number one deathling,,,

  22. Shannon Henriquez

    Being suicidal at a young age, once I realized my own mortality it snapped me out like hey imma die one day why today (me at 14) let me just wait til it happens. Death positive!

  23. Thanks. I want to be cremated and the urn travels around to see my kids. Summer time with my son who has a pool. Strap me on some floaies and let me hang with the grand kids. My children can’t decide if I’m being serious or my crazy humor is in play. Bwwwwaaaaaahhhhhaaaa

  24. My mom passed away about a week ago and your channel is helping me with some funeral home stuff. I had to subscribe. 👍

  25. Really #1 is so critical. No one would speak ill of someone for specializing in obstetrics or L&D, there are only TWO DOORS to this room and there are NO EMERGENCY EXITS, we all go in one door and out the other. Why is one the "yay!" door and the other one the "yuck" door?

  26. I have “emergency” frame hanging on my wall, saying break in case of death, with a letter behind the glass, telling I want to be burned and spread in the ocean. So my daughter can visit me were ever she decide to live in the world, her father will always be a part of the ocean.

  27. I actually find my way to deal with grief is through humor. I love crying and laughing at the same time at a funeral. I want people laughing at my funeral. For me it’s about celebrating a great life and realizing that there is a lot of life still left to live.

  28. I know missing someone can be like a sudden choke hold simetimes but your loved ones are more to you than deceased. You have many other memories to remeber them by. I certainly don't want anyone hurting because on me. Remeber when you were together, I try to think this way if I can.

  29. The way you talk about death… It is so different from anything I have heard yet. I am still terrified, though.

  30. Im fascinated with death too… and honestly Caitlyn has shown me that I’m not the only one, and she’s representing all of the death positive people out there that don’t have a voice! And she’s one of my biggest motivation to become a medical examiner, and a mortician ❤️

  31. I'm an old smoker so I'm about ready, so, I was wondering, is it okay to be made into kabobs as a prank on coworkers?

  32. Isabel Cervantes

    You’ve made me so much more death positive. Thank you. I’ve always been okay with dying and have been curious with death but it’s so “taboo” but you prove otherwise. I am always curious about a lot of what you talk about in “ask a mortician” videos but I can never touch a corpse when at a viewing (like touching their hand or giving one last kiss on the head), is that normal?

  33. Christina Castaneda

    This necklace appeared in a 2017 video and I still dont know where you got it. ‘It looks just like the one the old woman dropped in the ocean in the end’ Brittney Spears a la Oops I did it Again Music Video 😉

  34. Everyone should be fascinated with death. I mean we all die lmao 🤣 and I’ll be dead in like 80 years so 🤷🏻‍♂️ May as well get educated on what will happen to my body the day I die for eternity wooo how exciting lol. also people fear what will happen after we die, it’s just like before we were born.. no conscious whatsoever as that comes from our brain… which would be.. well… DEAD Life is just a long game and stress and the day we kick the bucket it’s inner peace for eternity!! Death sucks when u loose those who u are close with but when it comes to myself idc, I’ll be glad the day I get a break from my annoying ass 😫😂 I’m gonna be that old person who puts on a drama show in the nursing home, always pretending to die just for the fun of it LMAO

  35. Caitlin! I've just started watching your videos this year. I'm an artist, mostly drawing animals, primarily pets and spend loooong hours at a desk working on a piece so I enjoy watching your videos and having something interesting and practical while I draw or paint.

    This video in particular really stuck with me! I think one because I often think as an artist "Is what I'm doing or creating going to be important someday? Will I do anything important with this skill in my lifetime?" And that often (helps?) or forces me to face my own mortality.

    I also think some of the points you mentioned in this video about death positive things you can do for others got me thinking that maybe I am doing something important and being death positive considering many of the animals and pets I've drawn for people have passed away. Maybe in my own way I'm doing something positive.

    this was long and rambly and I usually never comment on videos lol but I just thought this was one of your most interesting and thought provoking videos on your channel wanted to share a different perspective from someone who doesnt work in the industry but can still in their own way help others mourn and be death positive. ~*~*~

  36. My mother was a vibrant 60y.o. Florist owner ,she was a very good “ death counselor” she became suddenly ill in Dec,2012 lung cancer that went into her brain. We lost her Sept 2013, I won’t go into details but we brought her home ,I learned to care for her, etc.it was awful, heartbreaking watching her die, I was at work when I got the call I couldn’t get home in time, I still hurt over that but I was laying w her when the funeral home guy came to get her ,he was pushy like she was gonna explode ,and to top it off he starts asking my dad as he is getting her how he will pay for it and what are his “ plans”.W.T.F. I flipped. I don’t deal well w death my first step dad shot himself (Russian roulette) mental issues from Vietnam when I was 12, finding friends hanging ,ods etc. After mom I worked more I came home alone, started doing drugs again, it took till Feb, 2016 till it all hit me ,wound up in Florida mental health / addiction care ,a lot of grief &loss therapy. It still hurts I miss her terribly but life is good today, Tell ppl you love them, you cherish their friendship, give hugs,your not guaranteed tomorrow’s

  37. This video gave me a lot to think about and I actually have a question. Would it be possible for you to do a similar video focusing on negetive habits that one should watch out for if they are planning on entering this line of work? Maybe some things we should avoid doing because they will lead to bad practices later on.

  38. I found your channel a few weeks ago shortly after I learned my rabbit has terminal cancer. It's still gonna be hard when she goes, but I think your videos have helped immensely with accepting it and planning for when she dies.

  39. Just came across your page this is awesome thought I was morbid and werid turns out im not I just know everyone dies.

  40. “Not setting timelines for grief” is SO IMPORTANT. My beloved horse passed away almost a year ago and I’m still grieving and mourning. It makes me uncomfortable when people tell me to get over it. I feel that I’ll be done when I’m done and in the meantime I need to honour his memory and the bond we had. *sigh* oh how I miss him. Thank you for touching on this Caitlyn 🙂

  41. I'd like to hear your reasons for thinking the reason someone is desperate for a job promotion is that they'll die one day. To me, that one seems more like: bc they're not dying today/tmrw.

  42. I’m so glad I stumbled across your videos randomly. I am so fascinated by death and you’ve helped me to realize there’s nothing wrong with that.

  43. To me those that refuse or fear death refuse and fear change. We experience both life and death, and that's what makes us human. There imperfections that exist and you got to accept that, but those who expect perfection will be extremely disappointed in the end. No matter what your spiritual path is be a good person, in this life because it'll affect you in the next life as well. So happy October 1st everyone. 👋😊👻💜

  44. I only have had 3 people fire in my family so far. I feel lucky that ive been able to keep almost everyonei love this long but i know that they'll all die one day. Including myself. I've actually been pretty death positive for a majority of my life, always understanding we dont live forever. But watching the people you love getting old and weak is kinda sad to me. I mourn for the future losses i will experience.

  45. I made my advanced directive yesterday thanks to you! My boyfriend (my agent) was very supportive and listened to everything that i wanted. I went really well. It made him tell me that he wanted a natural burial. He told me his feelings about embalming and hes obviously done his research. Opened the conversation up.

  46. There is this amazing quote that I plan on making into a tattoo.
    "We may have years, we may have hours, but sooner or later, we push up flowers."
    That quote is from the mortician character in the game Grim Fandango.

  47. Okay as an ICU nurse I see so many people who are terrified of death. I see it so often that I just wish people to have a good death. I have seen horrid deaths and some really beautiful deaths. I feel like as a society we need to talk about out wishes and wants more when it comes to our deaths. Your videos made me realize that a natural burial is what I wish for along with a nice death not connected to machines. So thank you for educating everyone!

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