Greetings and welcome to Awakening With Brahma Kumaris. We are beginning a new series today. Sister Shivani is with us. Welcome, Sister. Om Shanti. Welcome, Sister. Om Shanti. The new series is called Living Values. It’s a very beautiful and a very relevant title in the present times. Till now we have created series as Being Bliss, Being Love. We were focused on the ‘Being’. Now we are talking about ‘Living’. Can we understand the meaning before we start? As you mentioned, we were focusing the earlier series about Being. That the soul which is the Being. What are its original qualities? We saw love, bliss, purity, wisdom – these are original qualities of the soul. And of course that’s the most important thing because the seed The soul which is the seed When it comes to its originality Then automatically every thought word and action radiating from that soul Will automatically be through the original nature. We are working on the originality Sometimes we have to check on the second side That in our behaviour or our way of living The way we live day to day It includes everything – the way we move, speak, sit, run a business or handle relationships. It includes everything. How we live as a citizen of the country or how we live in the society In business, in our profession – whatever we practice. The way we work How we get along with people So it is about the way to live. We were talking about the way to be. The Being. Actually if the being is right The living will automatically be right. But what happens often is We often cannot check ourselves at the level of being. Because that checking is a little subtle. Suppose I have to check purity. Whether my every thought is pure, and is the being pure. We understand that being or soul Has to be pure in every thought, word and action. This requires a very constant attention. A constant attention whether my every thought is absolutely clean. There is no mixturity init. There is no element of judgement or criticism about anyone – they are like this, they are like that No jealousy about anyone And when I speak to someone, there is no hidden meaning Beautiful. Look at this line When we speak to someone, often we speak very sweetly. As you said, double meaning can also imply that What I meant is I say one thing but I think something else. That is one way. Second could be that whatever we are saying But we are actually implying something else out of what we say. Taunt Many times it is not even a taunt But a very indirect way of telling something to someone. Even when telling it could be to hurt somebody. Yeah, it could be. It could be manipulation also in relationships. That if I want something from people how do I interact with them? Some of these things have become our way of living, since a long time. Now it has gone into such an automated way of thinking That at the level of Being, we will mostly not even have its awareness. Because when it becomes a Sanskar Since it has gone into an automated mode, we will not even have awareness that what I am thinking is not right. We feel it is right. If I need to tell you something And if I am not able to tell it to you in a straight forward or a simple way. I may mince words, beat around the bush, or even tell it to somebody else in front of you Sometimes the mother in law scolds the daughter in front of the daughter in law – (to give a message actually to the daughter in law) Because they say they cannot do it directly. But while doing all this our thoughts are impure. The being becomes impure. When we are checking at the level of the being What a lot of people wrote back and felt They say we are doing that checking, but it is not possible to do it the whole day. Sometimes we are able to check. We can see that the thought is not right. But higher level of attention and awareness to check at the level of every thought That this is pure. Or this is impure, so change It is difficult because for that we need to be very, very aware. And with that our Sanskar will change. So we can make this one step easier. That if we are unable to check a few things at the level of thoughts We can certainly check them at the level of words and behaviour. That is very easy. It is visible. So one way is to change the Being Which means change the Sanskars of the soul So thoughts changed and automatically Karma also changed. How to change the Being? Although we have the original, we also have the acquired Sanskars. Suppose as you mentioned, if we have a Sanskar of taunting people. It is an acquired Sanskar isn’t it? It is not the being’s original Sanskar. The being’s original Sanskar is purity. But over a period of time and by repeating it many times Suppose taunting became my Sanskar. I say something to the other person in a way that they get the message and they get hurt too. A lot of things can happen like manipulation or what I say can prick them. Sometimes we don’t intend to do that This we may not be able to check it the level of thoughts. The simpler way is actually this – that the being is getting checked. We work on the Sanskar So our thought will change. And automatically our words and behaviour will change. Which is coming from Inside-Out That you change inside. The outside will automatically change by itself. But changing inside requires constant attention and constant awareness. So sometimes we can check it in a simpler way Check outside. Weather at my workplace, in my relationships, in my business In my way of living How should I live my life? Is this the way I want to live my life? And if we bring the change here – outside in our way of living Even then our Sanskar will change. It might be temporary. Just like – I as an actor Initially in my career I could not act in the Inside Out way – which is called method acting. So if I had to enact a scene where I am angry, I would hit a table fiercely. So I would get the anger Outside-In. That was just a temporary phase. Feeling Inside Out – I could not manage. Let’s take an example. Suppose I have the knowledge that I should not get angry. And I also understand that every soul has their own Sanskars. So the being has got knowledge. So how should I be in my relationships throughout the day? That I looked at different sanskars of people I saw that they are all different. I accepted the other person’s Sanskars. If I do all these things then I will definitely not get angry. So that is the way to be. Can you repeat the steps? If I have a Sanskar of anger, when do I get angry? When people and situations are not according to me. But I cannot say “according to me’. There should be according to a General way. The definition of general is also my definition. When we need to get along with other people throughout the day People will not be the way we want them to be. Even I am not the way I want to be. So we get angry on other people and we get angry on ourselves to. I say – I want to say like that but why did I say this. We have the knowledge given by God That every soul carries their own Sanskars. As soon as the soul or the being get this knowledge That’s all should have realise action that every soul will have their own Sanskars They cannot be like me or be my way. When they do something they will not do it the way I want them to follow. If I have this knowledge and understanding Then there will be no margin for me to get angry. Now this is the Inside Out process. Awareness, understanding. In understanding – apart from understanding that there is no margin for getting angry We may also think – what is the use of getting angry? But you won’t even get angry isn’t it? Instead of thinking about no margin for anger, think about solution Will anger solve the issue? Will my anger change the other person? I would repeatedly get angry at my staff and noticed for 10 years The mistakes he would make 10 years back, he makes them even today. Even a simple matter that we repeatedly instructed our staff Still there Sanskar did not change. We would repeatedly create irritation about that aspect. But now we have the knowledge That it is their Sanskar and they are unable to understand what we say. Once that understanding gets fitted in our mind Then we will never get angry about it. After so many years that understanding got fitted Then I started to call them up on phone and instruct Has the newspaper come? And he would then say yes it has come. Earlier I would scold him. There are two options. One is when we get the understanding Their Sanskar is not changing so I should not get angry. So we will understand here in our mind So our anger will not get expressed outside at all. But even now if I get angry In spite of all the knowledge, understanding and meditation Because what happens is Because many of us are listening to Gyan everyday. We are meditating everyday, and that too for years. We are reading empowering books and doing everything. We are thinking right also but yet sometimes when we come in to practical situations Our old Sanskar comes into action again. So let us simplify the step today. If we are unable to change at the level of Sanskars How does a Sanskar get formed? Anything done repeatedly becomes a Sanskar. There are two things – look at how it works.. Any Karma done repeatedly becomes a Sanskar. Once a Sanskar is formed, the Karma will be through that Sanskar Isn’t it? Whether you do it this way or that way, the result will be the same – Karmic account is created. If I created anger repeatedly Then I created a Sanskar of anger. How did the Sanskar get created? By coming into our Karma repeatedly. If it did not come into action or karma? That is the question. Repeatedly eating a particular dish. Repeatedly drinking a particular thing. Repeatedly speaking in a particular way. Behaving in a particular way. Repeatedly coming into action, something becomes our Sanskar. Once a Sanskar is formed Then our every Karma tends to happen through that Sanskar. We need to understand this connection. Suppose – right now I am sitting like this. Different people sit in different positions, on this chair. By sitting in this position for many, many times I create a Sanskar of sitting this way. Even though this is not comfortable for me. But I have created Sanskar of sitting the wrong way. So the next time I sit down on a chair, I will sit the wrong way itself. Because that has become my Sanskar. Now I have two ways of working with it. One is understanding it here (in the mind) What will it harm me, what is the consequence After understanding everything I can change the Sanskar And I sit with the right posture the next time. This needs lot of attention and awareness. Simpler way is – next time just the attention that whenever I sit Then sit the right way. The first time it feels very difficult. My comfort zone will not let me sit another way. I will tend to push back into my old way of sitting. Since it is my Sanskar that Sanskar will pull me towards my old way. So I have to push myself to sit in the right way. It means I have not changed it in my mind But I am ready to to make efforts outside. If I sit in the right position for the first time, then for the second time. And then if I do it 10 times, now I am changing my Sanskar. So if you are unable to change a few things inside at a subtle level There is another way – do it outside. It is like, if I create a Sanskar of eating something which is not healthy for me. One is knowledge – like how people do with addiction. Somebody has a habit of eating Gutka, someone else has habit of chewing gum all day. And then there is smoking, alcohol. One is to meditate and fill the soul with so much power Once the soul has the power, then the craving or the desire for these substances will automatically finish. It means Sanskar will change and so Karma will change. But if that is not possible, then there are a lot of people who have done it the other way around. Which means where was their attention? That today the whole day I should not consume it. Some people even postpone it and say I will take it after an hour. Perfect. Suppose there are smokers wanting to give it up They say – everyday by lunch time I would smoke 10 cigarettes. But by continuously postponing, lunch time the reduced to 5 cigarettes. Perfect. So what did they do? Earlier, when they would repeatedly smoke 10 cigarettes before lunch It had become a habit. Now they have changed the habit outside. By using external measures. By keeping the cigarette far away, by not buying too many at a time. Buying only one cigarette at a time – these are all external ways to change habit. Meditate, get knowledge, get understanding – internal way of changing a habit. If we are not able to do it internally then let us change some habit externally. Externally also if we pay little attention and do it, then a lot will change internally too. Like you said they reduced from 10 to 5 cigarettes Some people come down from 10 to 0. Some other people come down from 10 to 5, then to 2, then 1 and then 0. They did it externally which means, the way they did it everyday Today the did differently. They did for 2 days, then 10 days – gradually the Karma changed and the Sanskar also changed. It’s very interesting, Sister. I understand inside-out and outside-in well Once my mood was off but the scene in the movie was of happiness How would I enact it happily when I was so sad and worried? I was sitting in the room and wondering how to shoot that scene. I had my music player, so I played my favourite music. I started jumping and dancing to that music. By doing it for a while, not just outside but inside I felt happy It means there are two options. Professionally we do these things. But if we have the same problem when we are with with wife or children We will says let it go on for 2 days. Which means there is a loss isn’t it? You mentioned that you were sad But the scene in that movie was of being happy. So first you thought how can I do that scene when I am feeling sad? But you had to do that scene of being happy. It was not happening from inside so you forcefully did it externally. But by doing externally what happened gradually? Inside also became fine and you felt happy. Let’s bring the same scene to the house. I am sad within. I am angry about something. My energy exchange with someone is not feeling nice. Internally I am not happy with that person. So what I do is I reduce my conversations with that person. I start withdrawing slightly. Which means what is inside is now coming into action outside. I would withdrawal a little late. I would wait for everyone to even finish their dinner. Thinking – Why should I face these people? This is so beautiful – scene in the movie and scene at home. Right? Internally I don’t like the person so externally my behaviour with them has changed. I don’t speak to them lovingly. In fact I speak very less to them. Because if I speak and then if there are more differences I would not even feel like speaking, so I would call them up and say I have to go out for dinner. You finish your dinner. With whoever I didn’t want to talk, they would go away. I would go back late or I would actually go elsewhere and have dinner. Now this can become a way of living. In this case the being is sad. Even in the living the sadness has started to practically show externally. Vibrations are radiating anyway. Thoughts radiate as vibrations. So even in the living we are sad. So the atmosphere and aura – everything is damaged Just look at the simple thing – you are feeling sad within. Fine. Maybe it is going to take some time to resolve. Internally I need to clean my thoughts and I need to understand. It is taking time. It might take 30 minutes for someone Someone may take one day and someone else may take much longer. It is not getting resolved within. But until that time, what about my way of living? The way I speak to people and my social interactions. Spending time with family, And the person about whom I am internally disturbed, my behaviour with them. Everything starts changing outside also. So what happens if the damage does not remain at the first step A lot of damage happens outside too. The moment it comes into the living – it was already in the being. When it came into living – in my ways of Living The other person’s behaviour is also will start changing. The other person’s behaviour – as it is I had disliked it before. I was already upset about the person. And now they not even talking properly to me. So what happens to the disturbance in the being – doubled. This is how it will escalate. As he was speaking I got a thought You said anything done repeatedly becomes a Sanskar. So the behaviour I am repeating in order to avoid a person I am repeatedly speaking less to him I am repeatedly reducing my meetings with them. I am repeatedly not having lunch with them. Which means all this become my Sanskars? All this become my habit. And my relationships with people – I will distance myself from people more. This is it. This is what I said – it will escalate. The situation has magnified. The issue was only this big. But now the problem has increased. And we created a new sanskar – that when we are not comfortable with someone, what do we do? We withdraw from them. I can’t work with this person, I can’t live with that person. So we created a Sanskar of withdrawing from people and cutting off from them. Didn’t we have another option? We did. We are sad inside and we are not liking something about them. Even if we say repeatedly we are having to see it and we are not liking it. I am just not able to accept it. I just cannot accept this. Which means it is not about living values here. It is artificial living values. It is not artificial. It is a genuine effort to going back to the original being. There is a lot of difference in what you are saying. It is not artificial. When we understand the mechanism Just now you mention that you were sad inside and you started with drawing outside too. What happened to the situation? It escalated. I understood this mechanism. Now we have understood the mechanism. So we are not doing anything artificial. We are trying to stop this mechanism from getting escalated. We have understood the process. I was sad and I will become fine. But it is taking me some time. I am not able to immediately say – Okay, I accept this Sanskar. I am not able to do it. It’s taking me some time. Because the soul will not have so much power isn’t it, to change the Sanskar immediately? To change our thoughts immediately? Shifting from rejection to acceptance does not happen immediately. Isn’t it? A certain time gap comes in between. But in that time gap our behaviour also changes. Because of that reason, changing our thought becomes all the more difficult. As you said the problem will escalate. The second option we had was – that inside we were uncomfortable. The problem not only increases but we start becoming like that. Nature certainly becomes like that but won’t the problem magnify? Won’t the problem in relationship magnify? 100% the problem will increase. But our new behaviour gets more and more stronger. The more it happens – You mentioned about withdrawing from people and cutting off from them. Do you think thoughts will change with this? Will your thoughts change with this? My thoughts will become all the more reinforced and strong. This is what – it becomes more stronger. When we bring the being into the living as it is – We are sad inside and we bring the sadness outside into our behaviour. So what happens day by day to the sadness inside? It will get stronger. So why not we work on one step at least? That I am sad inside. I am not able to accept one of your Sanskars right now and I am not feeling nice about it. But if my role is to work with you Or to live with you in the same house Then I will play my role very lovingly. Do it just like you did in that movie scene. If my role needs that I have my meal along with my family If I have to interact with everyone, check everyone’s well-being – I will do everything lovingly. If we can play our role that way in a movie We can do it here too. What happened here is Be restricted the internal sadness to remain inside itself. We will resolve it. When does it become artificial? You mentioned about it being artificial. It is when that becomes our routine way of living, when we are permanently sad inside. But externally we smile and we talk very nicely to people. And we will not do anything inside to change the state of mind. Only then it is artificial. We are talking of just this little gap. That I am actually sad within I need to set it right but it is not happening immediately. At the least let us correct it at the level of behaviour. As you mentioned, when we correct it at the level of behaviour Gradually what started happening inside in the mind also? It became alright. The same thing will happen in our ways of living. Suppose I have a Sanskar of corruption. But I want a pure soul. Do I wait until the day when the soul will become 100% pure? So that corruption will automatically finish? This is one way which is going to take some time. Other way is, I understand that for a pure soul corruption is just not allowed. At least let me stop it in my behaviour. Now if I stop corruption, will the purity of the soul increase by 5% or not? On one side the way I was behaving – Where I had detached myself I would not speak to them or I would go late Those people would have food and leave. I would go after that. Or I skipped dinner. In all these things, you know what was happening? I was creating unhappiness. Because unhappiness was already present Again look at the mechanism. Unhappiness is already there inside Because of ‘living’ unhappiness, the unhappiness of the ‘being’ will increase further. So both happened – being unhappy and living unhappy. So tomorrow also I will be unhappy. So we need to stop it at this step, that the being is slightly unhappy right now for some time. I will set it right. But let me check that the level of ‘living’, because checking that is easier. I am I talking lovingly with everyone? Is my behaviour right with everyone? While I check this, it becomes easier for me to subtly check the being also gradually. And the unhappiness will finish. How does it become easy? I’ll ask you in the next episode, Sister. Thank you so much. Om Shanti. Om Shanti. Thank you so much.